LONG TV ADVERT BREAKS:
It seems that the arseholes that make TV adverts, where sweet fragrant Davina is married to Abdul, a man with a lavatory brush under his chin, and has one half caste little girl with frizzy hair and a little white blond boy who Adolf would have been proud to call his son, and grins as she opens another box of All Bran (having first ensured she has a good supply of that air freshener that disperses especially malodorous smells emerging from the lavatory), then goes into the boring old white fart who lives next door, opens his post and gives her advice on Sun Life’s Over 50 Insurance Plan, before going home to discover she has pissed herself and gets into a pair of Tena Ladies PDQ before discovering a Wowcher deal and “she “THINKS” she likes it” – so much for the cost of living crisis), don’t have long enough to spread their “creative” juices, so the ever so helpful broadcasters want the advert breaks extended:
“Longer and more frequent” – so even more funeral adverts, more mobile phone contract fraudsters, Haribo adverts where adults talk like 4 year olds, and some old obese cunt trying to knock down the able-bodied in his cripples chariot “scooter”. Even more Dark Keys advertising filthy smelling “fast food”, and those ugly men and wimminz who perform a sort of opera for a washing powder on rainy days (the sort of opera that old slapper Angela Rayner might just about understand).
Even 20 years ago when ITV/Channel 5 had the rights to show the “Columbo” stories, films that had a running time of 70 minutes were put in slots with running times of at least 90 minutes, and on Channel 5 sometime even longer. “Love Your Garden” with a running time of 47 minutes today, placed in a 60 minute slot, will probably be renamed “Love Your Windowbox” with a running time of 15 minutes in a 60 minute slot.
What will be the point of watching anything on commercial channels?. And to think BBC 4 will soon be no more, replaced with the homosexual and tranny lovers of BBC 3. What will be the point of even having a TV – apart from silly old cows like ths spouse who would have nothing to live for without Emmerdale Farm noth of today and eons ago. I’d get rid of the TV tomorrow, since they still reject my idea for a weekly two hour programme of striptease from the top London clubs.
Nominated by: W.C. Boggs
And in a similar vain, here’s one from Sick of It
Is nothing sacred anymore.
The old farts TV, daytime TV, the Sweeney, Professionals, Minder and so on, watched by old farts, they must be otherwise why would the adverts be aimed at people in later life. SunLife, Pure Cremation and Throw you in a cardboard box and chuck it on a bonfire (made that one up).
The thing you can be sure of is the adverts will be white, old twat handing his phone to a neighbour so she can call SunLife ‘they are ever so friendly’, a youngish woman telling us about a cheap no fuss funeral, ‘peace of mind isn’t it mum’, that dopey cunt saying ‘my lot know how to party’. Yes they are fucking shit but everyone is white.
Not anymore Pure Cremation have broken away, obviously a well off old white couple with a daughter and husband, a couple of kids but the son in law is a full on Rasta type.
Just wait for SunLife and Simple whatever to jump on the bandwagon, nothing left for us poor white folk to hang onto.
It’s probably because there are still some far right Nazis that won’t accept that a mixed race family is the norm, and want a partner of their own hue.
The same people that treated Malcolm McDowell will be coming to re-educate these troublemakers, and force feed woke bullshit to them until they cave in to the left, or die in a last stand fighting for some long forgotten principles.
18
I can remember jingles and advertising from the 70s and 80s yet couldnt name a single advert from the last 20years
They dont seem to stick in my mind?
Maybe because theyre rubbish nowadays?
Are the Bisto kids now zulus?
20
Haha umbongo umbongo they drink it in the jungle.
Then get savagely murdered by an ivory poacher with a machine gun.
14
Their father is, their mother’s white, one kid is a spasmo and the other a lesbian.
12
Ha! I was saying the same thing to Mrs Cunt, the other day! Some of the ads were better than the programmes! Now, the old ads are better than the majority of shite on nowadays. By the way, I saw an ad for a holiday home place, and there were NO mixed-race couples in it. Who do I write to to claim my prize?
17
I nearly seen one the other day but not quite.
Toolstation I think
White repair man goes to elderly white lady’s house to carry out a repair and finds he doesn’t have the correct tool for the task so appears to be up shit creek.
But no, not to be outdone. To the rescue and into shot, comes an outstretched black hand, holding a Toolstation works bag.
15
I find the targeted ads for the over 50s absolutely hilarious.
My firm favourite are the equity release specials,imagine the cunts offspring finding out their senile parents basically sold their house to an insurance company for 20% of its value.
Every financial institution I’ve ever heard of is a nest of literal vampires.
Wuhan the vermin.
21
One of those had one of ‘Hill’s Angels’ in it, from Benny Hill, Louise English.
You still would.
12
Just turn the zombie box off and do something useful.
19
JTC@ – Is the correct answer!
I have difficulty finding a single programme which does not send me homicidal, so I generally don’t bother.
If I wanted lies, bullshit, propaganda and anti white racism I would talk to a politician.
11
I LOVE the New Year’s Day Concert from Vienna. All that fantastic music, and it all started off as Nasty propaganda…
Gives me a chan e to Hugo Boss it, and wear Jack boots for the Radetzky March!
The Jellyfish is gibbering on Sky News…
1
Not a TV (haven’t fucking got one) advert but just heard on the radio an advert for “everything your child will need for the new school year.”
Fuck me! This one isn’t over yet, the grasping cunts!
Anyway, there was no mention of puberty blockers, trannie dresses or butt plugs so they’ve got no fucking clue have they?
17
We don’t have this problem at Creampuff Manor because we record most of what we choose to watch and either edit out the adverts/trailers or zip through them during playback. If I happen to be watching something live like TalkTV or GBNews and the adverts come on I mute the sound, close my eyes and have a wank instead until the danger’s passed.
21
Mention of Colombo in the nom.
Im watching the best one right now.
The one with the 2 trained dobermans.
Triggerword?
Rosebud .
Not wanking though..
14
Mrs Colombo is a big fan of your work Sir.
8
Evening Miserable. Lady C was watching Columbo earlier while having her lunch. Pretty sure she wasn’t wanking either. Small world, eh?
8
Evening Ruff 👍
Yes.
Mrs creampuff is in fine company!
Theres not many that can exert self control and not wank themselves into a frenzy whilst watching Colombo.
We’re a rare breed😂
9
Heatwave on its way, and lots of pictures of Penny Mordaunt. I may be gone for a long succession of wanks… I hope she sunbathers topless.
2
Patrick McGoohan played the murderer 4 times the most by any actor in the Columbo series
but my favourite was Jack Cassidy as the illusionist magician murderer and i think he played in 2 episodes in total but the cat and mouse of the Cassidy and the detective Columbo was brilliant captivating American tv.
i didn’t feel the need for a wank either
4
Evening mecuntry👍
Jack was the fruity dad of teen pin up David Cassidy.
He was great in Colombo I agree.
He burnt to death you know?
Oh well😁
6
I remember that one “Now You See Him” it was called. “The Great Santini” was Mr Cassidy. He also did the very first episode I think “Murder By The Book”, where he murders his writing partner. I didn’t wank either – the spouse munching a packet of Golden Wonder crisps would put you off that idea – I remember thinking if I did her in, would Columboi guess the minute he wa;ked in the house………..Cheese and onion might have been Mrs. Columbo’s flavour of choice as well.
1
Tragic MNC, my Mam used love him and others especially Steve McQueen and others cause my Da would be gone out for a few bevies most nights
Times were easier back then, i think
5
My all time favourite guest on Colombo was Johnny Cash.
👍👍
3
I liked Donald Pleasence as the wine expert plus he was born up the road from me in Worksop.
3
They’ve just decided commercial Channels can show longer ads in longer ad breaks. It’s going to be even more irritating now.
I hardly watch live to air TV now and more ads isn’t going to win me back.
8
Pay in advance for my own funeral? The cunts will probably have declared bankruptcy and fucked off to Monaco with my dosh before I croak.
As for getting a cheap one, bollocks, I’ve ordered a full state funeral, Westminster Abbey, gun carriage, Household Cavalry, a week of national mourning. The full works to be paid for out of my estate as I intend leaving fuck all to the sprogs.
15
There’s no respite anymore on the BBC. They have always peddled their own wares between programs but now they slide in a tranbilezgaymixedcocoonpeaceful celebration of 100 years promotion of their nefarious programmes between games at Wimbledon.
The cunts!
15
Toilet bowl of turds
8
“I think that I may have cancer and I really don’t know what to do”.
‘Have you been to see your doctor?’
“I don’t understand what you mean”
‘Well, I watched an advert last night and they said that if you had any health worries then you can go to a doctor’
“Really?”
Why the fuck is the NHS allowed to waste public money on pointless adverts?
13
TAC@ – It saves them wasting money on “diversity managers”, tattoo removal, breast reductions, chopping kids up and the endless health problems created by smelly, dirty, inbred savages.
3
‘The old farts TV, daytime TV, the Sweeney, Professionals, Minder and so on, watched by old farts, they must be otherwise why would the adverts be aimed at people in later life. SunLife, Pure Cremation and Throw you in a cardboard box and chuck it on a bonfire (made that one up)’
Fuck off you cunt…..that’s me, AND I ain’t no old fart. Sweeney, Professionals & Minder……three of the best big bollokced hairy chested tv shows of my upbringing, and still better today than all the shite woke shit you get. Wanna be a man and how to treat your bird….watch any of those three. Fucking learn something cunt.
15
Shut it you slag, you’re nicked! 😂
11
“We’re the Sweeney, and we haven’t had our dinner!”
13
In the very first episode of minder gun flight at the Ok laundrette Arthur says to Terry on the phone “you got turned over by a thick spade” that line erased forever in repeat showings.
2
Many years ago, when cable and satellite telly appeared on the scene, itv and channel 4 were up in arms. “There won’t be enough advertising to go round” they cried. How fucking wrong they were. Watch an old episode of The Sweeney on dvd and it’s running time, without ads, is about 52 minutes. Those days are long gone that’s for sure.
And if there’s one thing I hate as much as the adverts, it’s the time wasting padding out at the end of each ad break where someone says “ in part one, we looked at….. etc etc” which is essentially a two minute repeat of what happened in the seven minutes you watched only 3 minutes before. I’m not a fucking goldfish. I can fucking remember, you patronising cunts!
15
That’s exactly what happens on Yank TV. In their case they need to be reminded of what they watched because the attention span is so limited they are terrified you lose track and switch channels. If it’s happening over here that is no surprise to me. We are definitely getting thicker and more gullible year on year.
8
Absolutely Freddie. Treat people as thick for long enough and they become thick for real.
7
It’s cheap tv production show the same shite 3 or 4 times like homes under the hammer.
1
Hardly watch live TV. Knobheads on the Chase at teatime and 15 minutes news. That’s about it. I assume the adverts arent aimed at me anyway. Cos I aint bleck.
12
Or a whitey with an IQ of less than one peanut.
Mind you, this one could appeal to you, Cuntstable:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YPGDmfuopaA
Gave me the horn!
7
Are they sure about this one RTC, i mean the one off payment and the price of gas to burn one to ashes in twenty years time,
No hidden costs me hole
5
Did you clock how many whiteys there were in that advert, Mecuntry? And not one single dark key! That many whiteys can’t be wrong, surely?
7
Yes a first all white add in a long while, i would imagine and this add just happens to be about cremation, so approved by the advertising standards about not needing to be inclusive or diverse as its about the future death of the white western family.
They think of everything ,bless em
8
Oh you’re such a cynic! 😃
4
I fail to see any horn provoking material. But then, I’m not a dorty fecker.
1
Youtube and Netflix for free as the niece shared the log in with me
Have a lovely Panasonic Plasma tv with both platforms on it and more, but not terrestrial tv stations for about the last 8 years or more, best thing i ever done.
No more 9.99.99 harvey norman cunts shouting shit about there great sales etc, and i have missed most of the woke bollocks contained in the modern advertisement.
Plenty of news platforms on the web if you need it.
Now Im going to light up a Henri Wintermans cigar and not get stressed about impending disaster.
Now, they were the days of great adds
5
Some great ads in the old days.
Rigsby and Joan Collins
The Smash Martians
The Indian Elvis (see video link)
The Scotch Tape Skeleton
The Hamlet Cigar adverts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QduTLFILORY
11
I used to like the bra adverts (Little X) and the way husbands routinely insulted the s;pouse. Two married couples on the escalator:
Jennie: Hi Sarah!
Sarah (to husband): Jennie was my best friend at school!
Sarah’s husband: Really, darling? – she looks much younger.
Sarah: I was shattered, but it was true – Jennie DID look younger than me.
I think it was for Camay. And remember Oxo with Katie and Phillip?. It would be Katie and Abdul now. Or Dwayne.
4
Inspiral Carpets had it right. Commercial Rain (or Commercial Reign). Adverts are excruciating. I gave up watching Endeavour (when it was good) on ITV. Peppered with commercials at very near twenty minutes in total. So I just got the DVDs instead and watched them.
I used to love So It Goes on Granada. They always had a false intermission and a weird and wonderful advert from somewhere like Japan or America.
Tony Wilson RIP
10
I remember watching Coronation Street in its 70s prime. And there would be two short adverts on between parts one and two. Now, not only is the Street now shit, it also has about fifteen adverts and a ‘Sponsored by’ blurb that is used half a dozen times.
6
Always loved this advert. A classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TblWE9a-Ie0
6
Remember the roadside posters with a little kid on that said Drive carefully my dad works here.
Some wag had written under one that read.
No he fucking doesn’t.
6
Classic Norman
2
The Heineken ads were great. I also recall an advertising billboard in Moston years ago. It was for Whiskas cat food, and it said on it in big letters ‘Catisfaction’.
But some smart arse wrote above it in marker, pen ‘I Can’t Get No’.
That was a good ‘un….😉
7
Ironically I couldn’t watch it until a couple of mind numbing youtube ads played and finished. They deserve their own cunting.
1
its a five second time before one can skip the add and that was the rule that was set up, but cute cunts have bypassed that shit long ago and now you have to wait a bit, depending on how “popular the channel is”
They the money cunts that is, will fuck it quite soon with their endless domination
1
Carol Mouldy Cunt has been promoted to a GIWLTF (Granny i wouldn’t like to fuck). Fucking anything she can flog to separate the gullible from their homes. Fucking Bitch.
8
She really is the epitome of mutton dressed up as lamb.
1
Vorderman is mutton dressed as spam…
Used to like her on Countdown in the 80s and early 90s. But she’s been a fiberglass filled media whore and an OK Magazine fly for at least two decades now…
2
I’m vile and perverted. I’m obsessed and deranged. I’ve existed for years but very little has changed. I’m the tool of the government and industry too. For I’m destined to rule and regulate you. You may think I’m pernicious, but you can’t look away. I’ll make you think I’m delicious with the stuff that I say. I’m the best you can get… have you guessed me yet? I’m the slime oozing out of your TV set.
-Frank Zappa
8
“I am the slime”
Zappa doing what he did best.
0
The voiceover for ‘Pure Cremation’ says something like ‘thousands of people have trusted it’.
But how you would know that they enjoyed the expereince of being burnt to ashes.
Its daft. Chirpy music, walking in the woods. Death is happy. Sums up this age.
No death is sad. And how people cope (mature people) with Loss is to desire fir Decorum, Ritual Proprietary.
A sense of marking the occasion properly.
I mean not like in the Ad above-‘no fuss’
My opinon anyway.
8
Only 9.99.99 in Harvey Norman this black friday weekend, hurry and sign up now.
Dealing with Death as never been this cheap so hurry now. T@Cs may apply
3
Stop shouting !
I CAN’T !!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0fFk-t4HMo
Classic.
3
I saw a advert the other night for old women who stink of piss.
A old white women and a old black,
Talking about going to gigs,
And whitey says she cant anymore because she stinks of piss.
Black one says she also whiffs of stale piss but shes got nappies.
They decide to go a gig wearing nappies.
Dunno who they were going to see?
But id complain to the bouncers if some pissy old black was filling her nappy next to me in the mosh pit.
Filthy old cunts.
8
Off topic but
Oh with her swept back hair and nobld bearinv and straight-back her air of competence and just her whole physical bearing I find impressive.
Penny Mordaunt.
And she has come out with a statement which will rocket* her chances in this PM election.
‘trans men are men and trans women are women’
*Straight into the ground.
5
So Penny there a re 4 types of human now. 1) Men 2) Trans Men 3) Women 4) Trans Women.
How a grown person can so distort reality like this is beyond me.
4
noble bearing
1
If trans men are really just men then why are they described as ‘trans’ men. Not just ‘men’.
Same with trans women. Why dont we just call them ‘women’.
3
depends on what way one perceives Miles P
She is saying that your a trans but you are male(born)
you are a trans but you are female(born)
and there’s no denying that,
She will have a lot of shit to deal with now but at least she said something maybe not much in the grand scheme of things but somethings need to be said
1
Simple’s , tape everything you want to watch (dvr) and just spool through the shitty advertising… having said that sooner they start putting them on the bullshit broadcasting corp , the sooner the telly tax will be gone….🏍
2
Off topic, watched the Wimbledon millionaires today, couldn’t help but notice, that Prince George looks a snooty little fucker already… god save the queens….🇬🇧
7
So, Sue Barker has done her last Wimbledon….
I wonder who will be replacing her?
It wouldn’t be Alex Fucking Scott by any chance?🤢
9
The Churchill adverts were great mind. Ooooh yes!
2
No a massive TV fan, but I have a family containing mostly females, so it’s on a lot.
The ad break came on in the middle of some woke soap. Every single advert contained an umbongo. One (for an expensive designer brand) used a black as the ace of spades model, where traditionally they’d have used a beautiful (if skinny) white one. Now black women aren’t my cup of tea, but I acknowledge these are a few (if rare) nice looking ones around. Halle Berry springs to mind, but this thing looked like something off the cover of National Geographic. I was half expecting to see flies playing hop scotch on her face. It seems that not only are they trying to train us to believe society is full of nice, well behaved black families, but they are also better looking than us. The pinnacle of beauty if you will.
There’s something extremely sinister going on in my opinion . And remember, kids ate exposed to this woke crap at almost every waking moment of the day.
2
“…Every single advert contained an umbongo.”
…and if by sheer oversight an advertiser has failed to include an onscreen bl*ck you can bet a bollock that it’ll have a ghetto grime soundtrack rattling and pounding away behind the voice-over regardless of whatever the fuck they’re trying to flog/shill!
1
I one heard a theory that channels like yesterday etc. had long ad breaks to allow the target audience the chance to use the toilet and put the kettle on.
Freeview might have tedious breaks butI still prefer it to N0nceflix. Film4 is usually showing a better film by pure chance than 90% of the obscure cheap dross on many streaming services.
Plus you don’t get Jasmine Harman, Amanda lamb or Sarah Beeney on Netflix just twerking children and black superheroes.
2
*Lamb, as in Slammin’ the…
2
Jasmine Harman… Face like a Derby winner, but spectacular tits…
3
A friend of mine has introduced one Larissa Liveir to me…
Very talented woman, very talented indeed.
She’s a good guitar player and all…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hXwmQnkLEk
4
The cleavage, oh the cleavage sits so well with that fender strad
she’s not bad at all at tall ,with the rift but she has way more talents than finger picking and “she knows how to use it”
1
I like to make up rhymes\alternative words:
“We hope your next shite’s a square when you go to Go Compare!!”,
“I took out a Sunlife policy to get get my Parker pen like Parkie… even though he hasn’t advertised this for 10 years and he’s a cunt!”,
Carol Vorderman: “I’ll suck your cock if you take out Sunlife Insurance!”
“Autoglass Repair, Autoglass Replace, Jism in your hair, Jism on your face!”.
Way too much time on your hands, me thinks – NA.
2