The London mayor’s latest big idea is he’s going to stop hurty feelings on the Tube by encouraging men to say the totally not-puerile word “maaate” to their male friends if they say some wrongspeak. I wish I were making this up.

I’m sure there are some creepy cunts on the Tube we could all do without. The Daily Mail reports a man grabbing a woman’s hand and forcing her to touch his cock, which sounds to me like sexual assault. But in Sadiq Kuhnt’s head we don’t focus on stopping criminality like that, we focus on hurty words.

Maybe I’m being unfair? After all, his campaign is backed by such luminaries as Romesh Ranganathan, LADbible and someone called Max Selwood (big on TikTok apparently). And he even got some “behavioural scientists” to invent the word “maaate” for him. I hope they were well paid for that bit of groundbreaking academic research.

Or maybe it’s yet another total waste of time and money from Mr Kuhnt, which won’t make the blindest bit of difference to anything, other than to make everyone angry as we’re constantly patronised as we try to go about our day.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Do You Think I Meant Country Matters?.

Anyone who has entrusted their futures to the “Digital Revolution”, is an unthinking, trusting cunt who deserves everything they’re going to get, whether they want it or not. No links needed.

Those who ditched their CDs, LPs, DVDs and Books for the “convenience” of subscription to online media, via subscription to mobile and broadband networks, are seeing record rises in those subscriptions for media they don’t physically own and can only access as long as they keep paying. With the inevitable demise of free-to-air TV for online “on-demand” via a “smart” TV and your every activity tracked, your viewing will no longer be private, or free.

Increasing numbers are subscribing to otherwise unaffordable cars and paying rent on otherwise unaffordable homes for no gain. Is this what Klaus Schwab of the WEF meant when he stated that “you’ll own nothing and be happy”? If the money runs out, you miss a payment, or your Bank or the authorities shut you down, what then? A non-person, cancelled, erased?

With cashless, we won’t even own or control that “convenient” programmable “smart” digital money, every transaction monitored, limited in what and where we’ll be allowed to buy, do and go, cancellable for “wrong-think”, age limited purchases, or “exceeding your carbon allowance” in our total surveillance “convenient” 15minute “smart” prison cities.

Welcome to “convenience”, to total control, owning nothing, a life sentence of Digital Slavery to ever rising subscriptions and behavioural Serfdom.This is the “convenient” future, “smart”, only for those who pull the strings and rake in the money.

Do any of my fellow cinters think I’m wrong? Have I missed anything out?

Nominated by : Sheikh Anvakh

 
NatWest CEO Alison Rose has put her hand up to being a massive twat.

She’s come clean and admitted to being the source who gave BBCunt Simon Jack confidential details about Nigel Farage’s bank account, which was instrumental in Farage being ‘debanked’ by Coutt’s.

Whatever your views on Farage, this is disgraceful behaviour by the head honcho of one of the country’s major financial institutions. It’s a pound to a pinch of bird shite that such a leak of information from a rank-and-file member of staff would have resulted in dismissal. We’re told however that the Bank’s board still has ‘full confidence’ in Rose.

It’s really beyond the pale, but I’d bet that Rose will still get a whacking bonus at year end; unless of course as in football, the Board’s ‘vote of confidence’ proves to be the equivalent of the Mafioso kiss.

I hope Farage can sue the cunts. Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

Daily Fail

Nomination by Ron Knee.

Another decade on from his fall from grace, whinging queen Barrymore, of Strike It Duckie, and swimming pool fame, whines that he wants to be back on the telly doing what he does best – getting on the tits of ITV viewers

“The people feel they know me” he cries – well, they knew the faintly camp, ingratiating figure who took the piss out of old ladies on ancient game shows. Yes the people know him for that and as an annoying twat that fell from grace over alleged sordid behaviour years ago.

There is nothing worse than an elderly po of desperately trying to get off JSA and back into the limelight, totally devoid of self respect. He is yesterday’s man and he would do better to fuck off and just enjoy the easy money he gets from the DWP.

Express

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.

 
A Gas-lit Ministry of Truth cunting for Fact Check Supremo at the Beeb, Mariana Spring

The 27 year old oracle of truth thinks it’s normal to hate her.

Msn.com

Why is that then, Ms Primavera?

It might be your simplistic ‘Elon bad’ coverage of the Twitter takeover, or perhaps your team’s dismissal of evidence on covid deaths already available on the ONS site, related by Dr John Campbell, or perhaps the BMJ reporting the poor practice of labs used by Pfizer to test their vaccine, and the shoddy review process by the FDA?
Could it be gaslighting over the role of violent rapey, racist Climate Hell/Apocalypse/Catastrophe in
the fires around the Mediterranean, the cerberus inferno and what really led to those fires?

It’s normal to hate Marianne Spring, but it’s not hate, is it, Ms Printemps? It’s ridicule at your ineptitude in your appointment, and your employer’s laughable claim to epistemic authority, an organisation caught lying repeatedly on many issues, such as the recent Farage debanking scandal.

Kathleen Stock has the measure of Spring and her ilk;
https://unherd.com/2023/03/the-bbcs-phoney-war-on-disinformation/

Now excuse me, while I watch some genuine footage of Bigfoot forcing his huge stinking member into the moist eye socket of a UFO occupant.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.