Distressingly before I’d had my customary weekend full English I came across this tale of woe..

BBC News.

Fat women who took slimming drugs to lose rather considerable amounts of lard are now puzzled and upset by the folds of unwanted baggy skin left behind after their chemically induced famine..

Perhaps if Emily and chums hadn’t eaten quite so many biscuits this whole earth shattering mess could have possibly been avoided?

Having said that,it’s all probably Tommy Robinsons fault anyway.

“Keep young and beautiful if you want to be bummed” I think was the 30s song.

Dear me.

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

Time, yet again, for the fatso’s finest to pack their sun cream and golf clubs in aid of another wild goose chase in the Algarve.

A former friend of prime suspect, Christian Brueckner, (some of us may have a different view on who the prime suspects might be) has seemingly come up with new evidence, hence the free holiday for the fatso’s. What damning evidence did his former friends reveal?

They always thought there was something strange about him.

Well, that’s that then. They’ve nailed him.

Now, I’ve no desire to defend a convicted German rapist, but there’s something about this whole sorry saga that smacks of a smokescreen, coverup and desperation. And does it really justify sending another undisclosed number of useless tossers from the Met on a tax payer funded waste of time, simply to continue to remove any blame or responsibility from the kids parents?

It’s all a prime example of finding a conclusion and working backwards, whilst cherry picking evidence that fits and doesn’t upset certain people. Start at the beginning again, fatso’s. You might come up with a different conclusion. If you dare to look.

The Stun.

Nominated by : Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Now lets go back in history, IZAL! remember that stuff, the hygienic toilet paper that could be used as tracing paper and did not wipe off, more smeared around.
Child hood memory’s of an itchy bum crack and a massive stripe in your undercrackers!
Now todays offering, well its soft, I will give it that, but I decided to take a bit home for comparison.
It is about the size of a fucking postage stamp! 2/3 of the size of a standard arse wipe, someone’s fucking great cost saving idea, probably un aware that you now need twice as much and some cunts have been using hand towels instead that are blocking the toilet.

Fuck sake what next?

naked paper.com

Nominated by Lord Benny.

is a cunt.

“Good afternoon, this is IsAC’s Gender Affairs Correspondent Ron Knee reporting. Today I’m joined by Liberal Demoprat, oops I mean Liberal Democrat leader Ed Davey to discuss one of today’s most contentious matters, namely; can a woman have a penis. Thank you for joining us, Sir Ed”

“Let me say that as our conference gets underway, we as a party are united in a way that none of the other parties are…”

“Er, yes, but what our followers want from you is an answer to a simple question. In your opinion, can a woman have a penis?”

“Let me say at the outset that I believe my decision to boycott Donald Trump’s state visit was absolutely the right one to take…”

“I’m sure that the President was mortified by your absence, but let me repeat my question. Can a woman have a penis?”

“Well, the vast majority of people identify with the same gender that they had at birth. But some do not”

“So can a woman have a penis then?”

“For over twenty years, we’ve had a gender recognition act which says that people who want to change their gender can do so”

“But can a woman have a penis though? Yes or no”

“I go back to what the law says, and that we accept the ruling of the High Court on this matter”

“Hang on; you say that you accept the High Court’s ruling, which basically says that a man is a man and a woman is a woman. So that must mean that a woman CAN’T have a dick. Does that mean your party’s gender self-identity policy is out of the door then?”

“Yes. Er, no. Er… *splutter* what I’m saying is *cough* that the vast majority of people identify with same gender they had at birth…”

“Okay; let me see if I’ve got this straight. You accept what the law says, but you still think some women can have a cock. Let me tell you what MY opinion is, Sir Ed. I think you know that the notion of a cock in a frock is ludicrous, but you’re scared to come right out and say ‘no, a woman can’t have a penis’ because you don’t want to damage your credentials with the ‘caring, sharing’ left. So you just prevaricate”

“I just want to say that I fiercely oppose all the vileness that Trump stands for…”

“Yes of course you do. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”

talk tv

Nominated by Ron Knee.

This bloke deserves a cunting………for now stating he is ‘mixed race’ to no doubt gain plaudits and headlines…for that alone is being cuntish

Here’s a quote after winning some back slapping Emmy award this week:

‘Graham, 52, made light of his recent award, humorously stating, “This doesn’t normally happen to a mixed race kid like me,”

This get this right….his father is of mixed race (swedish/jamaican), so we are going back at least two generations, he was born in liverpool and liverpool is where he considers home, but no…….cynically to appeal to all colours, he has to bring up the half chat argument……well, you’re not even that are you Mr Graham. Being Blick is now so far way from you, it’s like me saying I am a fucking Viking or Roman. No, your are a bandwagon cunt.

The only thing of any repute you have done is play Tommy in Snatch, and even then it was really only as a bit part side kick who was there to amuse (and snatch is one of my favourite films btw)

bbcnews

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.