Hi, I want to give a massive cunting to just eat, not only do they use ethnics for cooking and delivering food they are using animals to promote the services of just eat, and it’s not real animals either, they are using animatronic gay puppets, can’t we not have a normal person without such bum foolery, it’s bad enough in the real world without advertising animals who bat for the other side , FFS is nothing these bandits can’t corrupt?
Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin
Like most people my age, I’ve had all of my seasonal injections; RSV, Flu and Covid. Pity that none of this stuff has prevented me falling foul of some vicious winter lurgy.
It started, as these things usually do, with a runny nose and a vague feeling of being ‘under the weather’. Within 24 hours, I’d developed a pounding headache, a burning throat, a temperature and an ache in every bone in my body. In short, I felt like absolute shite.
Being asthmatic, the doc has advised me to seek medical advice in such instances, and with a ‘there’s a lot of it about’, she promptly put me on antibiotics and steroids, and told me to stay indoors and rest. Like I needed to be told.
The drugs may or may not have killed the bugs, but I’ve been left hacking and wheezing like a shunting engine, a state of affairs which Doc Internet encouragingly states may last for weeks. ‘Drink warm water with honey and lemon, and take paracetamol’ is the advice. Gee thanks.
So here I am at the moment, stuck in an aching limbo, feeling like a wrung-out dish cloth, spending most of every day either asleep in bed or asleep on the settee. I’m sure that a sloth on Mogadon would have more get up and go than I currently have. Here’s hoping for some improvement at least in time for the Christmas hols.
What this cunt of a lurgy is I couldn’t say with any certainty. What I can say is that I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Here’s hoping that all you cunters can give it the swerve. What a bastard.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
Are a crock of shit, and a cunt.
I currently have my car off the road needing repairs.
Deciding to carry out the work myself because :-
(a) I don’t have a bottomless pit of £ cash
(b) my neighbour recently having paid £1000 for a clutch/dmf only to be left stranded driving home because the garage fucked it up
(c) I’m not a complete muppet
Long story short, decided to buy a small used car to run arround in. Not having wheels or endless time to spend looking at misadvertised junk, I thought I’d buy an AA ‘Approved Used Car’ for speed and peace of mind. Dealer ‘AA approved’ and promised 3 month warranty. Did checks; bought car & had it delivered.
2nd time using car wouldn’t start. 5 attempts eventually started. Car cut out on move several times (engine, lights, everything)
Tried to contact dealer – ignored my calls, texts, e-mails for 5 days. Finally replied after I suggested Trading Standards would be next call as he wouldn’t engage…
“cars under £x don’t have warranties and are a trade sale” end of.
Having sought advice from a respected dealer I follow on Youtube, I found out what thorough checks and vetting process you undergo to become an “AA approved car dealer” ……. None.
Dealer pays AA £150 per month = AA approved status.
Trade on your name, history, heritage and naieve public trust for 30 pieces of Silver. What fucking Cunts.
Nominated by Lord of the rings.
Congratulations to 20 Thousand Cunts Under The Sea who has won Deadpool 343 by picking Wayne Osmond the fourth oldest Osmond brother and second oldest brother in the band “The Osmonds” who has died aged 73.The Mormon family from Utah where massive in the 1970`s pop music scene.He retired in 2009 and is survived by his wife and 5 children.He has previosly surved a brain tumour diagnosois in 1997 and a stroke in 2012.
On to Dead Pool 344
The rules:
1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.No duplicates and it is first cone first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from a previous pool.
2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.
3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.
4)No swapping picks mid pool unless they have already been taken by someone else already.
5)Hits are awarded based on chronology of death reporting not necessarily in chronology of death.
is a cunt.
Like an anal wart, that no matter what you do, this blot on the landscape has appeared yet again.
And just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water!
Apparently, due to the old regime being toppled in Syria, Shamima is in danger! More danger than any other person who’s in the same camp?
This news item talks, ridiculously, about her being a target for a direct missile attack. Oh, please. I wouldn’t waste my spit on her, never mind thousands of pounds worth of missile.
A bullet is just as effective, and much cheaper.
This idiot reckons that Shamima should have been allowed into the UK, while all her multiple appeals were heard.
Brilliant idea, getting her out after they all failed would have been like scrapping barnacles off a ships hull without breathing apparatus.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
