Alan Carr [3]

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It’s taken me nearly a month to get over this shower of shit.

‘Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular’ with guests fat unfunny cunt James Corden, unfunny wanky Keith Lemon, boring ex-rugby player Ben Cohen, poncy reality dancer Abbey Clancy, crappy BB presenter Emma Willis and seriously unfunny Seann Walsh apparently helped Alan bring in 2014 with some great party games and general new year madness.

Plus there was live ‘music’ from Tinie Tempah and Katy B. Fuck me! That was music?

Who says that turkeys are for Christmas?

There’s enough cunts here to keep this site going until February! Let’s face it, Carr could keep it going for a month by himself…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Ed Miliband [7]

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"Vote for me and I'll give you all loadsa money!"

“Vote for me and I’ll give you all loadsa money!”

Ed Miliband recently had an operation on his nose and palate, so he would not sound so jewish.

While he was unconscious we saw the surgeon lean over and whisper gently in his ear, “Ed you are a snot-gobbling-dirty-little-pox-arsed-cock-tosser!”

Nominated by: Brian Barrough

David Cameron [13]

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David cameron is the most cuntbolloxing little shitlegged arsehole bandit bastard cocksucker since Tony “toerag” Blair.

Nominated by: Kelvin Ballsacre

(In the interest of equality, I would like to point out that Miliband and Clegg are just as fucking bad! Ed.)

Rabbie Burns

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Rabbie Burns

Burns night – haggis & turnips, tartan and bagpipes, lashings of cheap blended whisky, and a bunch of pretentious fuckwits spouting incomprehensible drivel in an archaic barbarian dialect. Just another day in Scotland, then.

That Tam O’Shanter was a cunt, too.

Nominated by: cuntybaws

Disabled parking

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Able bodied cunts who park in disabled spaces are selfish cunts who make life even more difficult for those, to whom a shorter walk to local amenities is made much harder by their selfishness and thoughtlessness.

A suitable punishment would be for offenders to have both legs broken and be made to walk on crutches in mid winter to get a pint of milk.

Nominated by: Toadspanker

Fucking disabled cunts who lend their blue badges to their fee dodging relatives should be made to walk everywhere and if they can’t then it fucking serves them right!

Ditto genuinely disable drivers who park on double yellow lines when there is a perfectly good legal parking space less than 10 feet away. Lazy fuckers!

Nominated by: Dioclese