Bernie Ecclestone [2]

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Bernie Ecclestone. On trial for bribery. His defence is that he paid someone off so they wouldn’t tell HMRC that he evaded 2 billion pounds of taxes. Oh, that’s ok then.

I have to wait 15 days to see if HMRC will restore the extra 3k tax free allowance I am entitled to will get reinstated. If they don’t, I will start my own formula 1 series, that’ll learn them

Nominated by: They’re all at it!

Serial liar, dodgy deal maker and corrupt little cunt, Bernie has been called all of these things and more (little prick, bite sized bastard ect ect.) The truth of these matters pertaining to his involvement in Formula 1 and other tax matters is being decided in a German court. It is alleged that the little cunt has run Formula 1 motor racing as a personal money machine for over forty years. He started as a used car salesman and failed small scale driver and then went on to control every aspect of the “sport”. He couldn’t get it up so he took it over.

Bernie has trousered a vast fortune out of controlling the rights and merchandising of the richest sport in history. Along the way he has accumulated the biggest unpaid tax bill in history, in the region of £2 billion. Way to go little man.

He manages his affairs through a family slapper trust called Bambino although he maintains he has no connection with it and the fact that it sounds like the name of a mafia crime family is purely coincidental. Kind of the trustees then, all of whom are personal associates, to buy a vast mansion in Kensington (and the most expensive house in London) for his wife. Now divorced, he receives £100,000,000 a year from her as part of the divorce settlement. How very civilised.

This poor slandered and misrepresented 5′ 3” mini-cunt with a barnet like an old slag’s fanny is reputed to be worth in excess of £3.8 000,000,000. That’s right, nothing cheap about this blog, we give you all nine zeros for free.

On his way in to court Bernie was observed to be driving himself. He had a racing steering wheel stuck down the front of his trousers. When he turned it to the left he hopped to the left. When he turned it to the right he hopped to the right. However when he got to the court, security roughly pulled it out. Bernie turned to the Kraut judge and said wiping the tears from his eyes, “I thank the court for removing that steering wheel. It was driving me nutz.”

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Heston Blumenthal

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Heston Blumenthal is a prime rib of a cunt. Not least because I just had to waste my time finding out how to spell the cunts name correctly.

This fucking Captain Cunt is so painfully fucking rich it turns my cunt inside out. He’s become famous by just adding ridiculously cuntish things to standard cunting meals, then standing there in his cunt glasses with a head that looks like somebody started making a Toby jug then gave up half way through, spouting shit like ‘It just seemed so natural to me to take a British favourite like Toad in the Hole and inject it with dingleberries fresh from my putrid, fetid anus, and semen. Instant classic!’. You absolute fucking CUNT Heston my boy.

I hope this cunt hurries up and dies pretty fucking soon so I can return my attention to wanking over that tasty sort refereeing the snooker at the moment.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

Esther McVey

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That slag, Esther McVey, should be in the cunts hall of fame…

She started off with a silver spoon in her gob. Then she became an autocue, card reading bimbo for breakfast television. Now she is an MP. She is also Iain Duncan Smith’s bitch and the dolly of the Tory Party Scum…

McVey is the bitch who openly persecutes the unemployed or anyone who is working class come to that… The woman is filth. Pure Conservative Nazi scum, and a total and utter (and a probably well used one by her Tory buddies) cunt!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Andy Murray [7]

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This dour, ugly, sweaty Scottish cunt must rank as the most unlikeable sports person on the planet. The cunt gives off an aura of “Fuck you all” to such a degree, it boggles the mind why any tournament organiser would want the cunt there. If he doesn’t win it’s because some other cunt cheated or he has strained his sphincter when smashing up yet another racket. If he does win it’s because he is a living legend and no one else is fit to even look at him.

The worst thing surrounding the whole carry-on is that the English adopt the Scottish cunt once a year, when he turns up at Wimbledon and proceeds to swear and sweat his way through the entire tedious event.

Fuck off Murray. Stop asking the ball boys and girls to bring you your rancid sweaty towel in between every shot, and at least show some humility to acknowledge that you play a poncy fucking game for a living.

Nominated by: KiwiCunt