Sliding out of the twat of a gullible woman who either forgets or never knew the name of the demon who spawned this lying, bullying cunt, Lance Armstrong has succeeded in achieving several goals in his whole useless cunting life; giving bored cunts a reason to actually get excited about the world’s second most pathetic sport (after curling), cheating his ass off during seven Tours De France in that country full of arrogant short Napoleonic cunts, bullying poor cunts like Greg LeMonde and Betsy and Frankie Andreu when they told the truth about cheating in cycling and costing them millions in earnings, corrupting cunting cycling officials into busting other two wheel obsessed cunts like Floyd Landis for daring to cheat while on a team other than this evil cunt’s US Postal Service team that named after an dying, irrelevant bureaucracy that employs fat, useless cunts who regularly steal shit right from Americans’ mail, using Sheryl Crow as his emotional pillar while fighting nut cancer that this cunt gave himself after doping himself up with every performance enhancing drug known to man and beast, neglecting that same washed up cunt when she got cancer of her own, boning one of those emotionally fucked up Olsen twins with his one remaining nut, giving false hope to bald, vomiting kids in cancer wards and then spilling his guts to that overpaid and over-worshipped twat, Oprah Winfrey whose cunt probably looks like my wallet.

Nominated by: TIG