Sir Ian Gilmore

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I am aghast that ‘Professor’ Sir Ian Gilmore has yet to be cunted.

This first rate turd gurgler is all over the news this morning crowing about how Alcohol Health Alliance has lobbied the government and those other ‘arse for sale’, thieving, lazy BMA pricks into lowering the recommended alcohol consumption to 14 units per week for men and women.

Lets start off on the right footing, have these cunts ever provided any real, factual hard evidence of how the ‘unit’ level of alcohol was defined and measure? I mean, it should be very similar to calculating the molar mass and therefore strength of acids, alkalis and other gases/elements right?

WRONG. These Doctor cunts sat around a table and made this shit up. They pulled these values from there collective arses as an attempt at curbing the free will of the people to do whatever the fuck they please. The principle problem is the NHS, moaning that alcohol related illness costs it too much money. If we did away with the NHS and made people take responsibility for their own actions and ultimately the cost of doing so then these illiberal cock smokers would be voting the other way, more booze to bring in more punters…

The ‘pants on fire’ accusation won’t stand up in court, but then again the equally childish and pathetic ‘because we said so’ defence is not viable either.

And all because of a 1% risk in increase of Alcohol related cancers. You scare mongering, enemy of freedom, communist cunt.

Nominated by: The Captain

The Voice

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Any talent show is rooted in cuntitude and many may think that not having Simon Cuntowel would give it more credibility but lets examine the facts. It took them 3 fucking years to realise Tom Jones wasn’t cool after all and name dropping Elvis was his sole remaining talent. Jessie J and Rita Ora were window dressing but this season they have got the cuntmaster general Boy (crabby old cunt) George out of his dungeon to drool over window cleaners and washed up cunts of yesteryear.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

David Cameron [17]

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David Cameron is my nomination. Possibly a little obvious, but still, he deserves it. Despite having spent months flying all over the EU to “renegotiate” Britain’s membership of the EU, he has today confirmed what those of us who aren’t rabid, braindead Europhiles have known for the sometime. His “deal” with Brussels is worth far less than a 3 week old pile of dog shit.

Apparently, part of this deal is that the UK now has a ‘Special Status”. Although, what that special status is I don’t know, because as far as I can tell, this wretched deal is as hollow as the centre of Polo mint. And I’ll be surprised if Cameron knows what it is. Right now, Cameron is like a two year old who has just smeared the walls of his bedroom with his own shit, and is now proudly showing the brown coloured palms of his hands to his horrified parents.

I am not just angry, I am fucking insulted, that Cameron’s contempt for the British people is such that he actually thinks we’re all stupid enough to think he’s brought back something meaningful from Brussels. He actually brought back LESS than what he went with. And now we know that the June 23rd is referendum day, we’re going to have four months of lies and bellendery from those dumb fucks who hate democracy and want unelected foreign cunts who hate us to run this country.

My birthday is on the 30th of June. I’m hoping a majority of British people will give the best birthday present ever, and vote to leave the EU.

Nominated by : Quick Draw McGraw

Pierre Boulez

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Plinky plonk schreech thud. Frog composer/conductor cunt Pierre Boulez has twisted his last pair orf cats bollocks for the sake orf art and is now treating Old Nick to one of his cutting edge metaphysical tone poems.

Music critic at the Guardian in full toss.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke