Young blokes with beards

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Can I nominate young blokes with beards for a cunting please?

Seriously, did your Dad’s old photo album not teach you anything about poor fashion choices that you think facial hair is anything that remotely hints at being a good idea? I have no clue why trying to make your chin look 80 years older than the rest of your face is currently in-vogue among the metrosexual beta male, but exactly how attractive is it to the opposite sex to have a head like a 1970s vagina? Not discounting the fact that the beard is always about 3 shades further into the red spectrum than the hair on their heads. How can this be?

Call me old fashioned, but apart from giving the impression that they are maths teachers, art historians or fugitive kiddie molesters, the only reason young blokes should sport a thick grizzly beard is to hide an acute dose of herpes.

Nominated by Megacunt.

Linda Robson

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I would like to nominate that bow-legged, saggy-arsed old cunt Linda Robson for a much needed, most severe cunting. I have been meaning to cunt the knock-kneed old trouting cunt for ages, but keep forgetting to do so. I read a couple of months ago that she was getting her kit off, or doing some fucking bikini thing for her 70th birthday or something, I do hope that it did not happen. I also remember reading that she wasn’t going to get a face-lift either, good job an all, she’d end up with her old mingebox where her necks supposed to be.

My pot-bellied father insisted that birds of a feather was on when I was a kid because he fancied Linda Robson, I was about eight when it started, and thought that she was disgusting. Being that age, I didn’t think much of Sharon either, but Dorien made me want to watch it, she reminded me of a teacher at school. Apart from that, I have just somehow remembered a lad being stabbed in London a few years ago, he was a friend of this fish-faced old trollop’s son, and that she tried to re-launch her career on the back of this.

While I am blathering away, please may I suggest a picture of John Zoidberg from Futurama without his shell for the cunting, I would assume that she looks quite him this with her saggy old bangers out.

Nominated by Ram it home Ginger Rogers.

Chuka Umunna (2)

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I would like to nominate Chuka U-moaner for a well deserved cunting.

On Thursday night, he attempted to lead a 49 MP revolt against Brexit, to table amendments to the Queen’s Speech,  which resulted in Cor-blimey canning 3 of his Shadow Cabinet. Fortunately, he failed to push through a ‘soft’ Brexit. i.e NO BREXIT.

This is the same MP who for two years sat on the backbenches after he resigned as Shadow Business Secretary in 2015 due to differences with Cor-blimey. Yet, after Labour’s better than expected performance in the General Election he offered to put himself forward for a Shadow Cabinet post. He was not taken up on his offer.

So let me get this right. Did he pull this stunt as revenge for not being offered a post? Or did he plan to act as a Trojan Horse if he was appointed?

A liar.. er….lawyer..by trade and a student of the B.Liar Academy of Political Skulduggery and Weasel Words he has been trained well. That remoaning, fantasist (never of the real world), Rowling woman would be proud of his work, most worthy of the darker elements of Hogwarts.

This ‘crime’ scene bears the grubby fingerprints of Teflon Tone, The Prince of Darkness and  A. Scumball all over  it. The Unholy Trinity is never far  from the action where  either  anti-Brexit attacks or sabotaging the Labour Party are concerned. It would seem they are gearing up to commit fresh attrocities against Brexit.

I know this is not a popular view here – defending Cor-blimey – but at least he did not cave into his mutineers and took decisive action against the rebels in his Shadow Cabinet. He is respecting the will of the people on the Brexit issue (at least) and I suspect, upholding his own deeply held anti-E.U beliefs.

At this rate, what with Mavis May wobbling and folding to E.U demands like a cheap suit while surrounded by the sniping Lib Dumb and SNP, lackey, brown nosers of the EU,   Cor-blimey may turn out to be the only political leader who would actually see Brexit through to its democratic conclusion – a genuine exit.

These are most strange times we live in.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

“Jihadi Jack”

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I would nominate that odious idiot “Jihadi Jack” for a right royal cunting. A useless snowflake spaz who decides one lunchtime for whatever fucking reason to become a peaceful. Not only that, the soft fucker decides to go to Syria to do peaceful things with other peaceful people aka ISIS. This muppet is the biggest wanker in recent history, and his exploits read like something from the old Commando Comics. He was able to speak on the radio in secret from his prison cell ( load of shite ) and gave a detailed 10 minute interview whilst his Kurdish Captors allegedly knew nothing.

Another bullshit bonanza, having escaped from ISIS three times, they ISIS had warned they would kill him.! ( I think they would have done that at the time of his first capture ) This fucking moron wants us to believe that he fell out with ISIS following a disagreement over their policy, and that is when he decided to leave. If you fall out with ISIS, then you usually fall out into a little trench in which you are then buried. This fucking fantasist is now whining that the British Government should intervene and have him released, and returned to the UK. Like fuck! You went you cunt, you fucking well rot there!

His parents are busy trying to put pressure on the Foreign Office to come up with a rescue plan. They describe this fucking idiot as a kind caring soul ( in ISIS !!! ) and it would not surprise me in the least if they now come out with the usual “mental health ” issues we are becoming so used to.Like all people who leave to fight for ISIS, whether they are white black or fucking blue, they can all lie upon the bed that THEY made, and fucking rot in the fucking shithole that they chose to fight for. Jihadi Jack and all his BRISH mates…..fuck off!

Nominated by Asimplearsehole.

Stephen Kinnock (3)

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The Right Honourable Stephen Kinnock MP.

Normally I wouldn’t blame a bloke for the sins of his father, especially when he has inherited his bald bonce and ugly face, but this cunt is an exception.

Stephen was elected as recently as 2015 (safe seat Aberavon) after spending his early career pushing pens and shuffling paper in the EU bureaucracy (I wonder where he got that idea?) He also took the opportunity to marry the future PM of Denmark, a slag who managed to get him off charges of tax dodging in Denmark.

Taking the advice of Mummy and Daddy (each received £130 grand payoff and £67 grand a year pension for their invaluable “work” for the EU) he decided that the he needed to steal from the British taxpayers’ pocket at source.

Obviously a solid gold Blairite and remoaner, tipped by the media to reach the top of Labour politics, just like his traitorous turncoat parents. The apple never falls far from the tree, they say, but this bastard is going to own the tree.

Truly a CUNT for our times.