What the fuck possesses some people to Dress up their four year old sprogs in a fucking waistcoat or tux or ballroom dress just because they are leaving their pre school or nursery and going to the big wide and dangerous world of reception class in September. This is cuntishness of the highest order. You can bet Cuntbook will be alive with pictures posted of some smug little four year old prince with parted hair holding hands with some princess in a fucking meringue with some sappy caption underneath.

To coin a phrase from a well known poster on this site, my piss is boiling at the sheer fucking, look at me, ineptitude of these cuntish parents. And while I’m at it please add an extra cunting to the the grandparents who buy them a fucking graduation gift. They should know fucking better.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Owen Fucking Jones. Has there ever been a more unlikable little shithead? Fresh from crying over Trump’s visit the cunt and his army of snowflakes are trying to get Nigel Farage sacked from LBC by starting a twatter campaign targeting companies who advertise with LBC.

Apparently Farage is “far right” aka he doesn’t agree with the fairy. This is after Jones recently interviewed a woman on his Youtube channel who identifies as a communist, Ash Sarkar (Someone cunt her for good measure). You couldn’t make it up. Hopefully the companies tell him and fellow travellers to fuck off.

Cunt

Nominated by An Irish Cunt

Indonesian Farmers are cunts, aren’t they?

Imagine an Indonesian farm that operated on a licence to breed protected saltwater and New Guinea crocodiles both for preservation and to harvest some of the animals. Sounds a bit odd, doesn’t it. Yet it provides economy for the area.

Now imagine that you’re not very bright and wander into the enclosure to pick some grass for feeding. Can you imagine what might be the consequence? Yes, that’s right. The crocodiles had a little snack.
I wonder what lesson could’ve been learnt here.

The End.

Oh, I forgot the last bit. After the local idiot was buried, a mob of angry farmers descended on the enclosure and, as revenge, slaughtered 292 crocs in vengeance of the deceased. They were furious that their trespassing friend was killed so they destroyed all the rare breed species providing a living to locals as well as promoting conservation issues!

❔

I understand this is Indonesia, a country that still believes in weird nonsense and flying horses (probably) but what were they thinking? Were the crocodiles aware of their “crime”? Has vengeance been served? Is this the 9th century?

Wing-nut, thick-as-shit murdering peasants.
And cunts.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

I want to Cunt people who begin every spoken sentence with “Basically” and finish it with “You Know”

A minor irritation in the grand scheme of things,I’ll admit, but it’s something that I’ve got stuck in my head. Every interview on the radio or telly and I’m poised,waiting for the vacuous Cunt who can’t express themselves without bracketing their inane gibberish with “Basically” and “You Know”.

My neurosis about such a meaningless thing has reached the point where I’ve begun to count how many “you knows” people can pack into one lungful of speech. It’s become some kind of a bizarre fixation with me. When the men in white coats tun up to remove me, I’ll probably be gibbering about it basically,you know,all being the Cunts fault, you know.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

A cunting for all the weak cunts over there in the UK moaning about a spot of warm weather. FFS, we in Oz get about two months of 40 degree + days in summer and bloody well love it. When will these cunts wake up to the fact that reverse cycle air conditioning is the cheapest, most efficient way of warming a house in winter and cooling it in summer?

Nominated by Grumpy Old Cunt

I am not your usual Englishman who moans when there is no summer and then moans like fuck when it is lovely and hot for weeks on end.
Nor am I your usual Englishman because I (usually) have better things to talk about than the Weather… and, yet, here we are..

So, dear Weather, you absolute Cunt:
You send us glorious sunshine, blue skies and clear nights for week upon week, without break, due in no small part to one of your relatives milling around out there over the Atlantic Ocean called the Gulf Stream, causing all kinds of mayhem and shenanigans with the weather patterns.
In Fact we became so used to the skies being clear night after night after night that we took it for granted; but, oh lucky stars, you are not content with just being a Cunt, oh no; you are a Funny Cunt!..

On the ONE DAY in a CENTURY that we should be able to see one of natures greatest wonders, namely a bright red Blood Moon caused by a total lunar eclipse that lasted hours, you decide in your infantile wisdom that tonight, of all nights, will be the time when you finally decide to grace us with your pissing (see what I did there?) clouds!
So, whilst every other cunt on planet Cunting Earth gets to see Nature’s Cunting Glory; this Englishman was not so privileged.

Nominated by Multiple Migs