This gerbil-faced harpy has to be the world’s most opinionated and annoying individual. I was reminded of just how much I loathe the self-professed ‘lefty liberal, anti-racist, feminist Muslim’ as I browsed through ‘The i’ earlier, and was subjected to the latest Thoughts of Chairwoman Yasmin, this time on the subject of the iniquities of Empire.

Part of my hatred is purely subjective. I just want to smack her smug face. But what I really detest about the whining gobshite is her hypocrisy; A-B is ready enough to dish out a bit of rascism and misandry herself.

At the time of the Labour leadership contest, she wrote that ‘we don’t need another white man at the head of a political party’. Mmm. Try writing something like ‘we don’t need a Muslim as London Mayor’ and then wait to get shat on from a great height. On that subject, A-B opined that she didn’t want ‘an establishment figure’ as Mayor, referencing Sadiq Khan, David Lammy and Diane Abbott (!!) as ‘the children of migrants, who better reflect the world’s most diverse city, made by incomers’. What? Made by incomers?

During a discussion on jobs in 2008, she said of white men ‘don’t apply. it would be great if you just went away. White middle class men. We could just walk in’ (who’s this ‘we’ by the way?). When challenged as to whether this remark was rascist, A-B replied with a little sneer ‘of course!’. Anti-racist, my arse. The nasty cow once condemned white working class people as either too lazy or too expensive to compete in the era of multiculturalism… tax-paying immigrants past and present keep indolent British scroungers on their couches, drinking beer and watching tv’.

Naturally it was too much to hope that she’d keep her fat gob shut on the question of Europe and the referendum, and boy, has a torrent of diarrhoea spouted out. Referring to UKIP, she stated, in somewhat sinister fashion, that ‘the media has to be kind of controlled in terms of how much Farage gets to rule the airwaves. We should be very, very worried’. So there you have it. Little Ms Liberal calling for censorship against those who don’t share her views. I too think we should be very, very worried.

Ah but you see, ‘Farage et al cynically duped millions of voters and here we are, a mean, nasty, divided, vicious, boorish and deluded Britain’. There you go, fellow anti EU cunters. Another patronising cunt who thinks you’re too stupid to understand what you voted for. You should have listened when wise Auntie Yasmin told you what was good for you.

By now, some of you may be thinking well, if Britain is such an unattractive place for such a sensitive soul, why doesn’t she just fuck off back to Uganda? Sadly, A-B answered this very question in ‘The New European’ earlier this year. Stamping her little foot, she told us crossly ‘I will not be going back where I came from. Listen bigots, I will express my views freely as a columnist’. Listen bigots? As bigots go, it takes one to know one, doesn’t it, Yasmin?

Nominated by Ron Knee

For the last six months we have lost our loving little cuntrubber to the virtual world of Fortnite.

If you’ve haven’t heard of this brainwashing cunt of a computer game,your lucky because once your child presses play it’s game over.

It’s hard work to get little cuntrubber out of the house at the best of times, now it takes all the cunning of a cunning cunt to get the little cuntrubber to go for a sleep over at his cunt mates house.

In the end the plan was simple.

He took his Nintendo with him to his cunt mates house who also had a Nintendo, so they both had a great weekend sitting on his mates bed talking to each other through microphone, headphones staring at a screen playing Fortnite.

Talking to virtual friends who he doesn’t know in the world of the interweb is the way the world is going, which ain’t good.

You won’t catch me spending most of my life on line conversing with strangers.
Oh hold on a minute.?

Nominated by Twatakincuntrubber

For my debut cunting, I would like to nominate: Breeders.

Now, before any parents start getting their knickers in a twist, I’m not generalising breeders as a whole, I’m not referring to “normal” parents, the types that discipline their children when it is required, raise them correctly, teach them manners, keep them out of the way of others, etc – I’m talking about these modern-day cunts, these limp-wristed, shaggy-haired, Labour-voting, Guardian-reading, stay-at-home, beta male, dad cucks, with their comfortable sandles, poxy checkshirts and cargo shorts, driving around in a fucking Nissan Qushqai, complete with a “Baby on Board” sign in the back, with his dowdy, frumpy, tired, frizzy-haired excuse of a woman, on the way to the nearest city or town for lunch at Giraffe Cafe, a browse, a shitty Costa Coffee (Mummy and Daddy have been up all night too, you know) and a Babychino for the little prick, and to chit-chat with other miserable fucks of the same description. “It’s great being a parent, isn’t it? I don’t miss chasing my dream, being creative, travelling, having a ton of expendable cash and freedom, non siree, not at all. I love getting up three times a night, changing shitty nappies, watching kids TV and playing with a plastic xylophone. When the kids are asleep, I log on to my sad social media page to call people I’ve never met racists and bigots. Life has never been better”, they tell each other, as they gingerly sip their Flat White’s, hoping the little bastards in the pushchairs aren’t going to wake up anytime soon.

These selfish cunts walk around with their heads up their arses for the entire duration of their stay, pushing the buggy wheels into the ankles of unsuspecting members of the public, getting in the way, openly breastfeeding, subjecting the surrounding area with the piercing screams and running around of their offspring and that god-awful child tone that all modern parents seem to have, “Do you want to do a pooooooooo, do you?” and expecting people like me to move out of the way or give up my seat so their lives can be made a little easier – NOT on my fucking watch. You (selfishly) chose to bring that mewling cabbage into existence without it’s consent, I shouldn’t have to suffer because of your poor choice,. You’re on a fucking ego trip and wanted to create a mini you so you can upload pictures of it and your ugly mug on Facebook for all your other equally retarded friends to “like”. Oh, and stop attempting to be eco-friendly, you’ve already fucked that up by not going through with the abortion, no amount of recycling and going vegan whenever you fancy it at the time isn’t going to reverse the damage.
Go fuck yourself and your disgusting spawn. You Cbeebie lookalike, flappy-cunted, hypocritical cunts.

The same applies for the “lower” members of society. Unemployed, scrounging, white-trash, peasants that surround the benches outside Poundland with pushchairs and stuffed plastic bags, sporting trackie bottoms, dirty neon-coloured vests, furiously stuffing roast chicken flavoured crisps into their toothless gobs and smoking seemingly endless amounts of cheap fags whilst their visually impaired, malnourished brats run around like tasered gibbons. They’ll proceed to the nearest reasonably priced public house, where the kids will be fucking around, swigging back blackcurrant Fruit Shoots, and the adults pints of flat Fosters, talking exceptionally loud about how wonderful it is that Aimee-Leigh is having another baby, despite being thirteen years old. These ITV2-addicted, freeloading miscreants are parasites, and due to the the lack of critical thinking, education and logic, and knowing full well they’ll be looked after by the taxpayer, the cycle of procreating will continue – and this is only the first world.

What a sad time for human existence. Cunts.

Nominated by Lord Cuntony