Men who grow their beards and shave the sides of their heads are cunts.
I don’t fully understand why, maybe it’s the Alf Garnett in me, but each time I see one I am gripped by a raging hurricane of detonating hatred.

If I may quote one of the esteemed cunters here: “my fist, your ear, cunt”.

It’s my understanding that young men in the pursuit of a good rutting are under the severely misguided impression that looking like this will attract women. So much so that they are paying hairdresser prices.

Barbers these days must be pissing themselves laughing every day at these mathematically challenged cum-garglers.

So I ask of you my fellow cunters, let us discuss and explore the deplorable character of the idiot with a beard and an undercut.

Nominated by cuntflap

Sadiq Khan’s dad and uncle?

That sign on the back that says “please let me out” is phrased as a request, not a statement of intent, cunt.

How dare you simply pull out regardless of the traffic around you. That behaviour is reserved for blonde women who are too short to see over the steering wheel.

I deliberately keep on going when these cunts try it. I don’t have to let them out, and I won’t lose my job if I have a crash. It’s MY right of way, and I couldn’t give a flying fuck if the unwashed dregs of society can’t get to the job centre on time.

Why fucking use the word “please” if you’re going to gestulate wildly when I refuse?

The rules of both the road and of grammar are with me cunts, so fuck yourselves.

Nominated by Cuntflap

I wish to cunt Buses and Bus Passengers.

Being an old cunt I have one of those plastic cards that allows you to travel by bus after 0930 hours weekdays and at any time weekends. (A sub-cunting here. Why is it that when I paid Income Tax and National Insurance in the United Kingdom all my working life I can’t avail myself of this largesse in Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland or on any mode of transport other than a bus in Londonistan? Did I ever make it a condition of my paying taxes that the revenue was to be spent only in England? Cunts).
I don’t use the card very often, preferring to travel in the comfort and privacy, the presence of the old cunt I’m married to excepted, of my private car. Before you hit the reply button and despatch a cunting for arrogance, the car is a 10 year old Skoda Fabia. Now I have your sympathy I’ll continue. Sometimes taking the bus is unavoidable because of the parking situation in my destination. (Another sub-cunting. Local Councils that spend thousands of pounds on painting yellow lines all over the fucking roads and charging for every last square centimetre of suitable parking space so they can fund the provision of housing and council tax rebates for Eurotrash and peacefuls).
First the bus. There is a timetable but it’s a work of fiction. Your time would be better spent reading Tolstoy’s War and Peace. You’ll have time to finish it in between buses. Board the bus and greet the driver only to receive a catatonic stare from the piece of Eurotrash or peaceful into whose hands you have entrusted your life. The interior of the bus looks like the inside of the rubbish bin that used to be attached to the bus stop until the local intelligentsia removed it and used it as a football and it smells like a urinal that hasn’t been flushed for days. This is because cunts, even older than me, or drunken young cunts have pissed all over the seats. Always check for damp patches before you sit. I have no idea what the surroundings along the bus route look like because you can’t see out the windows. You can look into them and get a reflection of your face from the years of black, grey and white grime splattered over them.
Notices exhort you to remain seated until the bus stops. If you do the bus will have set off again before you can get to the exit door and/or you will have been trampled to death by the millenials, totally oblivious to their surroundings, surging on board. If you try and reach the exit whilst the bus is moving you’ll end up in A&E with multiple fractures as the Eurotrash/peaceful moron driver confuses accelerator and brake yet again.
And now the bus passengers: 1) Shopping trolley woman – menopausal, smelling of stale piss and with head lice. Parks her fucking enormous four-wheeled trolley in the aisle so nobody can get round it. Feigns complete deafness when told to move the fucking thing. 2) Ashtray Man – looks like he’s slept in Tesco’s doorway for the last few months. Is unshaven and wearing clothing covered in food stains. Smells of stale piss and absolutely fucking reeks of nicotine. 3) Millenium Mummy – fat bitch boards the bus with a fucking huge pushchair decorated with multiple shopping bags which she parks in the space reserved for wheelchairs with that ‘entitled’ look that only Millenial bastards can effect. The spawn of Satan inside the pushchair starts screaming as soon as the bus moves and keeps it up for the entire journey. Mummy doesn’t notice the distress of her spawn or other passengers because she’s shovelling crisps into her fat gob whilst watching a Youtube video on her iphone. 4) Telephone Man/Woman – invariably well dressed and manicured with a wrinkled- nose disgusted facial expression; he suit and tie with stupid fucking ‘Turkish’ haircut; she high heels, suit skirt and top and real leather handbag. What the fuck are they doing on a bus? Answer – they’ve confused it with a telephone box. They stand in the aisle, never sit, and proceed to issue orders and instructions to their underlings on their mobile phones at full volume. What utter cunts. Good job I don’t have my service revolver anymore. I’d buy a bike so I wouldn’t have to go near a bus but it’s too painful sitting on a saddle when they are prolapsed.

Nominated by Fimbriations

People who don’t have manners are cunts. Total, utter cunts.

Please, thank you, holding the door for others, letting people pass. It’s a little social grease that helps people along and, by and large, stops them losing their shit and going on a spree of physical violence.

It costs nothing you cunts so why not do it?

Think I’m having a bad day.

Nominated by Cuntflap

Well, it’s that time of year again so I feel a cunting for Children In Need is in order.

Like most places my university are supporting this absolute wankfest, as they do every year, because they still have the stupid, idealistic view (the same view I once had myself) that this charidee is a force for good and a bastion of everything that’s right with the world.

Well, it’s not – it’s just another corrupt organisation where the executives and other senior figures get paid eye watering salaries and fuck all money goes on the people they claim to help, which the usual luvvies and all the regressive cunts get to feel morally good and pure and virtuous about supporting.

Fuck this absolute cunt of a ‘charity’, and like I always say, if you want to give to charity – check out what the overheads are and give local.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

People who, on a whim, diagnose themselves with autism are cunts.

There seems to be a growing number of people who fail to understand that if they don’t practice things they’ll never get good at them. Then, realising they are shit at something, they give up and proclaim “I must have autism”, or “I must be on the spectrum”.
On the spectrum of what, inconsiderate stupidity?

This is fucked up right? How on earth is imagining a disorder like this on a whim acceptable?
I have asked several people now about their new found symptoms and I have found myself marvelling at a statistical miracle – every single one is higher functioning and had their diagnosis confirmed by the presence of OCD.

Now, I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure washing your hands after each toilet visit is not OCD.
There is also further evidence – the claim that they “must be on the spectrum” because they have failed to recognise how someone else is feeling (I know, I know).

Again, I’m no doctor, but based on this conversation alone I think I can see the problem – er, you’re not fucking listening. To anybody.

This phenomenon of exaggerating small things as a way of self associating with illness is remarkably thoughtless and selfish. But it’s spreading.

It probably has more to do with made in chelsea than it does with biological illness.
Cunts.

Nominated by Cuntflap