Right, Epson are getting cunted. Big time. It seems that every fucking month (sometimes more frequently) my Cuntson printer decides to fuck up. It also doesn’t let me load in that much paper (we’re talking less than 20 pages here), meaning I keep having to stand there reloading it, it guzzles ink like a slut at a cum convention (I wish I had thought of that joke but I nicked it from Reddit) – and no matter how often I check the ink cartridges and find out there’s plenty of ink left in there I STILL keep getting the same ‘replace ink cartridges’ message – and, to top it all off, it won’t even let me print in black and white without replacing that fucking cartridge either. I know other companies do it too but none of them do it anywhere near as bad as what Epson do. So fuck you Cuntson for deliberately trying to suck as much money out of me as possible, you fucking cunts. Oh, and did I mention they were cunts?
Nominated by OpinionatedCunt
Cartridge ink. More expensive per gram than gold.
7
I feel you OC
Mine is a Xerox….fucking paper jam after paper jam….. jamming more times that bob fucking marley
Open tray one and remove jam it says…..fucking nowt in tray one
Confirm jam removed? ….squinty presses confirm…….xerox says ….. Open tray one……..aaaaggghhh ….cunt of a thing and
I’m only trying to print of a few posters of “Theresa May is a cunt” posters for my office wall
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My current printer (also the smallest on the market) is the best I have ever had (and I go back to Oki in the 80s). You don’t have to change black as well as colour and the cartridges (304 is the reference) are only £10.99 at Argos.
It is a Hewlett Packard model 3373 (DeskJet)
Anyone remember *Lexmark* printers?. They were dirt cheap but to replace the cartridges cost more than the machine itself. I think Lexmark was fucking IBM. Greedy bastards.
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I knew someone who regularly used to buy a printer solely for the cartridge, and then chuck the printer away.
Crazy world.
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I never used Epson’s own ink carts – far too expensive. I go for the cheaper compatibles at stinkyink – and they do last quite a long time with quite excellent print quality (unless you’re going for truly hi-def graphic printing, then you’ll probably better off with the genuine carts)
I’ve got an Epson Workforce WP-4545, and have managed to chip the sensors in the printer cart loading bay into not detecting ink levels, and hence they’re always “full” = no errors or reminders.
But Epson, like most of the big guys, are renowned for offering relatively cheap printers, but get their money back through extortionate ink carts
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My HP printers “XL” cartridges are the same physical size as the standard cartridges… except they fill the XL ones. That said, I’ve bought a set of inks and now re-fill to capacity (which is about 2ml for fuck’s sake !!) Oh when the genuine HP cartridges were “depleted”, HP refers to them as “counterfeit”. Twisted, robbing fannywanks.
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Buy a DIY ink cartridge refill kit of t’tinternet.
Includes ink, syringes etc.
It’s a bit of a faff but works a treat.
30+ refills for about £12
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Great nom…
I had a cunting Epsom. Worst fucking piece of shite I ever bought.
I kept having to run the fucking test thing to clean the pipes out and it CONSTANTLY “ran out” of ink. …well at least it said that it had run out and refused to work, the cartridges were still half full for fucks sake!
I got sick of buying cartridges so I thought I’d just buy some black ones and print in black and white…
It still refused to print in black and white unless I changed the colour cartridges!
I smashed the fucking thing to pieces and I’ll never buy anything from sodding Epsom ever again.
Cunts indeed!
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Our (ex’s and mine) Epson used to be good – until they “upgraded” to wireless connection.
I think it was a Nazi, too. The noise it made on start-up (priming and wasting ink, I reckon) sounded like a muffled chant of “Sieg Heil ! Sieg Heil!”
5
I sympathise greatly and this is a very valid cunting indeed.
I have a HP printer and it is a pile of unmitigated shite too. I hardly use the bastard and yet it seems to run out of ink like fuck. It is a definite ploy by the cunt-pany to make us buy shitloads of ink. Ink is so expensive these days you need to take out a second fucking mortgage to buy the shite.
It is also is perpetually spewing out messages like ‘colour ink is low,’ ‘paper jam’ or ‘error code 123fuckingcuntprinter’, etc, etc.
When I was nursing, an Irish traveller mother with a sick toddler attached to a constantly alarming oxygen monitor said to me ‘I’m gonna fuck that thing out of the window in a minute’…….I am rapidly feeling the same about my cunt printer.
I can only assume that HP stands for ‘Humongous Prick’……..
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Ink cartridges are like batteries or razor blades, retarded obsolescence technology that really should have been reinvented or superceeded by now. Corporations make an absolute mint with these things. The cunts.
My printer spooges ink like a crack head with nothing better to do than wanking until he’s cumming nothing but air.
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Every High Street used to have a *Cartridge World” shop where they refilled any and every type of cartridge at roughly half the price of a new one, but they all seem to have disappeared, as have all their competitiors. Our local Cartridge World is now a sodding nail bar.
2
Epson are indeed crap… Had one of their printers a long time ago, but never again… I’ve had the same printer now for 20 years… An HP Deskjet 710c…. Cartridges for it used to be sky high, but now they’re relatively cheap by today’s standards… And the cartridges last for months….
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There is a reason why low-end printers are cheap and crap while their cartridges are expensive, non interchangeable between manufacturers and tiny. Ask a marketing man what it is. HP’s speciality (any model) appears to be a buggered-up paper feed, also excessive print-head cleaning, which consumes useful amounts of ink.
I have just invented something which bypasses the computer and printer, though. I call it the ‘type writer’.
2
Printer companies waste some of your yellow ink on each print, as part of a tracking system so law enforcement can trace prints by using little dots on the sheet.
Wasting my ink and colluding with the state so I can’t spam politicians with offensive letters. Bunch of cunts.
5
Good cunting. The worst printer I ever had was a fucking Kodak bucket of dungeon shit. Looks like it was made from recycled plastic, the print quality was about as vibrant as shitty Thames water and the cunting thing always went wrong. It mashed correctly-loaded paper like a pensioner chewing on a wine gum. Don’t ever buy a Kodak printer. They’re shit on a biblical scale.
Regular ink-leakage as well. I finally had enough of the fuck club of a thing and arranged a date between said printer and six Gamebore cartridges on the lawn. The mangled wreckage looked better after that. I now have a really decent Canon printer, which is job quality and wasn’t all that expensive. Kodak can get to cunt.
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Absolutely bob-on, TV – I had a Kodak and it was indeed, the shittest printer I’ve ever owned. As to the retribution you visited upon it – Cunt Reviled would be proud of you:
http://is-a-cunt.com/2018/06/inanimate-objects/
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Appeaser has twice refused to rule out a second referendum when asked by reporters this morning.
Why am I not surprised?
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Doesn’t want to risk anything or leave to chance.
And there is no need Ruff Tuff when she clearly respects the referendum result and is delivering the Brexit that the majority of the electorate (Leavers) voted for?
3
But Leavers didn’t know what they were voting for Willie… haven’t you noticed, there’s been a HUGE upsurge amongst Leavers DEMANDING a second referendum!
Next IN/OUT EU referendum due in 2057, by my calculation…
3
Have just taken an unsolicited telephone house call.
From an Indian gentlemen asking if I was the owner and hoping I was having a nice day.
The cunt said he was from the TPS. Yes, of course you are I thought immediately before hanging up.
Have reported to TPS, however when I initially described it as a scam call they suggested I refer the matter to the police.
How fucking great is their service if they can’t even do anything about cunts pretending to be them? And can I seriously expect the underfunded over busy police to drop everything in order to find the culprits of scam calls? Of course not.
But it did make me think of this.
https://youtu.be/zCU2eJzDghQ
Which was nice (Fast Show)
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I’m really fucked off with this thread!
I saw the headline EPSOM and thought it was going to be a solid 24 carat cunting of the caravan dwelling leave all their shit behind brigade, got myself all unnecessarily excited 😡😡
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Premature ecuntulation if you prefer 😂
6
I don’t need to print very often so 3 years ago I bought an Epson XP422, turned off the ink monitor and fitted a CISS for around £50. I then bought 1 set of compatible inks (4 x 100ml bottles) for less than £15 and have been using it ever since with no problems. I’m just starting to run low on black.
2
I just gave my epson away after 13 years of problem free use……….I MUST BE A CUNT!
2
I don’t even remember the last time i used my printer, i think last time was for a detailed walkthrough for a video game like a year ago OpinionatedCunt you can have mine if you want, not gonna lie tho its a rusty old dinosaur cunt of a printer makes a shitheap of noise printing
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