The Last Leg

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How has The Last Leg not been cunted before? This pile of wank used to be a really good show during the 2012 Paralympics and in the ensuing years after it – but then Brexit and Trump happened, and its true regressive colours started to shine through. Here’s an example of an episode from the most recent season:
The boys discuss Brexit, Trump, the murder of Saudi dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi, and the papoose with Tracey Ullman and award Alex for his activism but also punish him with the global warming challenge for losing their vegan bet.
I stopped watching the show in February last year and it seems it’s just gotten worse and worse since then – which is a shame as it used to be genuinely funny. Fuck them (please don’t sue me for copyright infringement DF).

 

Nominated by Opinionated Cunt

Lettings Agents

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Lettings Agents
Letting Agents are long overdue for a nomination to ISAC.
Visited one recently – included amongst the long list of up front charges, was a ‘check in’ and ‘check out’ fee. In other words, an inventory fee when you move in and again when you move out.
So being the logical person that I am, I queried why I should have to pay an inventory fee on moving in, when the previous tenant had just paid the same fee on moving out, especially since the inventory would not change between his and my occupancy. I was met with a blank look. Then I queried the need for their £50 + VAT ‘miscellaneous admin charges’, and asked what was covered, which wasn’t already covered by all the other exorbitant fees. Again, a blank look from the up-herself, designer spec wearing, twat behind the desk. Thieving barstewards, the lot of them.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Rabbie Burns [2]

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What better way to kick off the New Year than with a haggis-loaded cunting of Scotland’s own national treasure, Rabbie Burns…?

I went to his birthplace and museum a couple of months back and concluded that apart from being a right know it all, a social justice warrior and a shirt lifter, he wrote some really shite poetry. His ode to the haggis is bad enough without that nasty little new year dirge Auld Lang Syne. What the fuck do those words mean anyway? Well, for those of you who give shit ( and I certainly don’t ) the title actually means ‘back in the day’ or ‘days gone by’ and goes on to say the best way to remember old friends is to get pissed out of your brain. I gather the Scots are quite good at that.

So fuck New Year, definitely fuck Jools Holland’s annual hootenanny, stick your haggis up your arse and do to Rabbie Burns what should be done with all treasures – bury the bugger somewhere you can’t find it…

Nominated by Dioclese

Michael Asiamah

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Michael Asiamah….

This absolute piss-taker was a “Soldier” in the British Army until 2016 who is now suing the MoD for one hundred and fifty grand, why? because he felt cold whilst on manoeuvres and because he, who is of African origin, is more susceptible to the cold than his white comrades.

Firstly I feel I am qualified to express an opinion on this as I too served in the British Army for fourteen years and experienced many extremes of temperature. I will continue.

Mr Asiamah claims that his superiors failed to remind him to bring such essential soldiering items as “gloves” “winter socks” and “boots” to an exercise and when he pointed out that he was cold was told to “carry on”.

A little context here…how long was this exercise?….18 hours. Where was this unforgiving arctic location?….er, initially a field in Leicestershire and later on in that well known ski resort of Salisbury Plain, Wiltshire. In March.

Thankfully this sort of claim is rare and for good reasons, when I was a soldier in the eighties and nineties I had comrades of black African, Caribbean, Indian and even Fijian heritage and we exercised in some seriously cold places like North West Germany in January….minus 15 was not rare and Canada, again in January/February for two weeks at at time….and Yes, they moaned about the cold….we all fucking did, who fucking wouldn’t…but like the rest of us they “soldiered on”.

But you, you fucking charlatan, claim to have aggravated symptoms should you leave your house and the temperature is less than 15 degrees centigrade, pretty much spring, autumn and winter, and all because you spent 18 hrs out on Salisbury Plain, in March…and it was windy. You are a fucking disgrace to men and women in uniform and you should be ashamed of yourself.

The MoD are contesting this travesty and rightly so…can you imagine if they pay him out, what sort of precedent would this set? For surely the reverse can be applied here. The 2009 study by the MoD concluded that black soldiers were more susceptible to cold than their white colleagues (they needed to commission a study to conclude that?) so I’m certain that the MoD commissioned a similar study on the effect that hot weather had on white caucasians…yes, I’m sure they did or it would be unfair and given the fact that most of the recent deployments seem to have been to such places as Iraq and Afghanistan, places where the temperatures regularly exceed 40 degrees, no problem for a soldier of black African or Caribbean descent but a potentially lethal problem for a white caucasian not used to those conditions and not biologically prepared to exposure, that would be pertinent.

So I hope the MoD display the teeth they had when I was a soldier and will tell Mr Asiamah to fuck off and to buy a fucking scarf.

Nominated by HenryV

A Special Holiday Anti-Cunting

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In deference to this time of year I want to bestow an anti-cunting to whoever of you is responsible for operating this incredible forum.

This is not in any way a sycophantic arse-creep but I simply want to express my gratitude to you for providing the means to vent my spleen and read some of the most acerbic and funniest writing there is on the entire internet from decent, like-minded folk.
Whenever I’m feeling like the planet has gone to the dogs there’s always some cunt on here who can be relied upon to lift my spirits. I won’t embarrass you by naming names but one or two really are in the same class as the likes of Peter Cook (who I venture to suggest was the last genuinely innovative, world class and fearless comedian we here in the U.K. had)

I am sure every damn one of us appreciates your hard and dedicated service, day in and day out without fail, and many will respond in the affirmative to this.

Admin. Don’t be afraid to put this out there…….and feel the love coming back.

Fellow Cunts: Gawdblessya all and here’s to a 2019 in which I predict the cuntings will be dialled up to 11.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt