The Inbetweeners Fwends Reunited 10th Anniversary Special. After my cunting of Jimmy Carr earlier, I honestly think the entire program itself could do with a cunting. Now, for the most part it was very enjoyable – but then in the last 15 minutes they resorted to the usual bog standard lazy ‘comedy’ device: the Trump joke. Then, they pulled out the Russian bots one a few minutes later. Then had Catherine Ryan (famed neverTrumper) to do a segment (which although it was unrelated to Trump there’s a clear reason why C4 got her on). What could’ve been absolutely brilliant was ruined by yet more fucking ‘lets bash the bigots’ jokes – AGAIN. Message to all so called ‘comedians’ – unless you’re South Park, injecting politics into comedy DOESN’T FUCKING WORK.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

Yes Gary, you have shat yourself

Gary ‘Jug Ears’ Linekunt

As we all know to our cost, Linekunt is an ardent pro-European, and boy, is he quick to let us know his views on Brexit.

Linekunt has been accused of breaking the British Broadcasting Cunts’ guidelines on impartiality, but the Director-general has said that as Jug Ears isn’t part of the BBC’s ‘news and current affairs universe’ (‘universe’, ffs! Where do they dig up this Corporatespeak b/s?), he’s free to express his views.
Now I’ve long held the view that Jug Ears is a multi-layered cunt. He’s a gormless looking, frog-eyed tosspot who gives a great impersonation of a waxworks dummy when presenting ‘Match of the Day’. He’s also an arrogant shit, for claiming that he’s actually worth the enormous sum he’s paid out of licence payers’ money; my guess is that most viewers would regard it as a great mercy if they never had to look at his ugly pan or listen to his droning voice again, as long as they fucking lived. To compound the offence of his mere existence, he’s an avaricious cunt, peddling junk food on telly adverts, and pocketing a very nice piece of change for his efforts I’ve no doubt. Then he’s an ignorant, hypocritical cunt, who told Chris Waddle to ‘stick to football’ when Waddle had the effrontery to suggest that it might be a good idea if Britain left the EU without a deal. Maybe he should take his own advice but I doubt that he will, him being so much more of an expert cunt on the matter after all…
So there we go. Linekunt isn’t to be held to such a high degree or standard of impartiality by the BBC as a news or current affairs commentator (as if anybody seriously regards the BBC’s output as impartial anymore anyhow). Well personally I hold Jug Ears to no standard whatsever, beyond the fact that he’s a 24 carat, oxygen thieving cunt.

Oh and the BBC is a cunt as well, but then you already knew that…

Nominated by Ron Knee

Wrong number callers.

I was watching the racing today when the phone rang…and rang…and rang. Eventually I decided that it must be an emergency, and I’d better answer it. Due to a very poor mobile signal, I still have a landline in the hall. Had to leave the racing and sprint (?) off to answer the fucking thing.
“Hello,is that James?”
>”No,you must have a wrong number”
“Can I speak to James?”
>”No, you fucking can’t…you’ve got the wrong number”
“But isn’t this the number for Mill House Farm?”
> “No”
“Are you sure?”
>” Fuck Off, I’ve told you, you’ve got the wrong fucking number”
“Well do you know the correct number?”
>” Do I know the correct number? I know I’ll pull yer fucking plums off if you don’t FUCK OFF YOU UTTER CUNT”

That was when I crashed the phone down. I’d missed the end of the race…still wondering if it was some Cunt who knew me, winding me up…suspicious that it came right in the middle of the big race. Luckily the Cunt forgot to block his number,so I’ve set my alarm and at 3 o’clock in the morning the Cunt’ll be receiving a phone call enquiring about his views on guinea-pigs being involved in shite-mining…that should shake the sleep out of his head…as will the half-hourly follow-up calls.

I once got a wrong number call from some either deaf or drunk imbecile wanting to book Bed and Breakfast. Couldn’t get it through to him that I was no doss-house for cheap Cunts. Took the booking. No idea yet just where the Cunt actually thought he was going, but he’ll have been in for a surprise when he got there.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Dianne Abbott

Seriously …. what a waste of fucking space!

Abbott’s recent appearance on BBC’s Question Time has resulted in accusations of racism against Fiona Bruce and the audience. But let’s get this straight: The audience weren’t jeering the useless fucker because she is black, they were jeering her because she is as fucking thick as pig-shit!

For, thirty years the stupid cow has been demonstrating the intellectual capacity of five-year-old, but nobody has been able to say anything against her …. just in case she pulls out the fucking race card.

Fuck knows what the voting population of Hackney North and Stoke Newington must be thinking when they get her elected each time. But wise up, people …. Diane Abbott is a total fucking retard!

Nominated by Cunty McBastard

JJ Abrams
Talentless, over-rated, plagiarist ‘Director’ who doesn’t even disguise the fact that he just lifts entire segments of previous talentless ‘Directors’ work. Then blames his audience for pointing out how shite he is.
Couldn’t finish ‘Lost’, because he ran out of ideas and it was garbage anyway. Yet, studios pay the cunt shitloads of money for his ‘talents’ – stupid cunts.

Oh, and calls his office the ‘The National Typewriter Company’, just to confuse visitors and the Postman … cunt.

Nominated by doubleohoh