According to the Big Beeb the government plans to restrict new drivers from driving at night due to “safety” concerns.
I’m sorry, but what a load of bollox.

How the fuck is wee little millennial Dave supposed to do his night shift down fucking Asda, earning his piss poor living to pay for his shit working class life?
Take public transport? Then he may ask what was the fucking point of getting my fucking licence, spending potentially into the thousands to obtain the privilege!

Also how the fuck are new drivers supposed to gain confidence in driving in any condition, IF YOU BAN THEM FROM FUCKING DOING IT?! Absolutely farcical. This doesn’t seem to benefit anyone! Wait, scrub that shit… I bet our beloved insurance companies are rubbing their hands together in near ecstatic joy, as they’ll charge these poor assholes even more money due to their “inexperience”

In this process, we are also creating another make believe bogus crime for the Police force.
Sorry, Dorothy can’t come over and stop pervy Pete from robbing and buggering you…. a young driver is minding his own beeswax on his way to work. WHAT A CUNTING CRIMINAL HE IS.

Absolute bloody joke.

Nominated by Cuntoxed

Daft names are tedious, aren’t they?

Malia
Autumn
Mercedes
Chardonnay
Summer

The midwife must be as bemused as when you mistype into a search engine. “Serendipity? Did you mean Susan?”
What in fuckity were the parents imbibing?

However, it’s not just the ladies. These gentlemen haven’t rushed for the Deedpoll applications:

Keanu
Moon Unit
Barrack
Chucka

Then there are the foreign ones:
“Is there a Oisin Tadgh here?”
“Ah, to be sure, it’s pronounced Usheen Tig!”
?
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
“Name?”
“M’tangalay Gwan-cho’ Ooga-Dooga.”
“Erm…could you spell that?”
“You ISS a ray-CIST. Am gonna amake a COM-plaint.”
“…And this huge, old woman next to you with no teeth and who must be allergic to bathing, is it your grandma?”
“Dat be my wife. Her called Serendipity.”

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Vegan burgers ?..
What sort of bearded cunt would eat a vegan burger? Something that tastes of fucking plants?
Probably the spotty beardy daft cunt that likes soya fucking milk. I hope they all die from lack of proper food. Burgers are the lowest form of food available, but made of no meat?.. what the fuck are these people thinking of?

Nominated by Jimmy the Spaz

The latest gender acronym – QTIPOC Queer, Transgender and Intersex People of Colour.
They had their own pride party in east Londonistan on Sunday. Apparently the London pride march wasn’t diverse enough.

Nominated by Mystic Maven