Time for a festive, seasonal knockabout cunting for Nicola Sturgeon.

How much more irritation can one twat cause to an entire country? This pint-sized penis-repelling gobshite just can’t help herself. Going on and on about a second independence referendum for Scotland. She just won’t stop! She’s like a really bad STD, loads of pain but without the pleasure and NO cure. At least for the rest of the UK there’s relative calm for the foreseeable future, but oh no, not for us North of the border…it’s the “Neverendum” story.

Nominated by EVILSCOTSMAN

The Neverendum…
‘Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee. I’m speaking to you from outside the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh, where I’m joined by First Munter *ahem cough* Minister Nicola Sturgeon’.
‘Guid afternoon’.
‘So First Minister, now that the dust has settled on the general election, you’re renewing your demand for another independence referendum’.
‘Aye. Wull. The SNP says that th’ peepull are entitled tae it, and the SNP is th’ voice o’ Scortlund’.
‘It’s Ron, not Will. Then you’re going to keep up the pressure on Westminster, even though a second referendum has been ruled out?’.
‘Aye. Ye cannae keep Scortland in th’ Unyan if the peepull dinnae went it. An’ we’re tellin’ the peepull that they dinnae went it’.
‘But First Minister, surely you’ve got an uphill task here even if you get another vote. All the crucial issues that are unanswered from last time remain. What about arrangements for the Anglo-Scottish border? And in 2014, people were seriously unconvinced by the SNP’s back-of-a-fag-packet economics. What will Scotland’s currency be? You’ll be out of the EU, so the Euro’s not an option. Will you try for a formal currency union with rUK to retain the pound? If you do, won’t this simply return control on interest rates and economic policy back to the Bank of England? Would you expect the Bank of England, effectively rUK tax-payers, to act as Scotland’s lender of last resort? How are you going to finance all your spending commitments? What about arrangements on defence?’.
‘Erm, aye, wull… this time we won’t alloo th’ peepull tae be distracted by sordid details aboot bawbees. This time it’ll be all aboot wa vision, wrappin’ oorsels in th’ Saltire, oor Manifest Destiny as Scorts; misty glens and glowing malts, haggis an’ lone pipers, land o’ the moontain an’ the flood, the shinin’ river an’ the high endeavour…’.
‘Well, yes; we’re running out of time First Minister, so let me ask you. What if you lose again? Will that really then be it for a lifetime?’.
‘ Wull, erm, aye, naw, ah cannae really say at this moment in time…’.
‘I see, thank you;it’s a neverendum then. Finally, I’m sure you’d like to offer a word of support to your long-time friend and close political ally Alex Salmond, who will shortly be in court facing charges of sexual misconduct’.
‘Who?’.
‘This is Ron Knee in Edinburgh, returning you to the studio’.

Nominated by Ron Knee

I am going to cunt PAD….No not the ones that lay on water, but peripheral Artery Disease. I have PAD, so its personal to me and the Cunting may go off topic.

PAD means that the blood supply to an extremity is restricted, In my case, my lower leg has a limited blood supply. The artery is restricted, almost like a tourniquet around it so my foot at rest is alive, but the simple tasks of walking uses up the oxygenated blood in the limb and it dies, at rest it re-oxygenates, re builds and dumps a lot of dead cells in my body for me to deal with. Very similar to a time I had blood poisoning.

Now the theme of this cunting is not so much the disease, but the reaction of the NHS.

I am inoperable, (fucked, in layman’s terms.) I was given a prognosis of four years until amputation, however, having a massively good immune system, the cunting thing keeps on regenerating. The down side is the change of my walking gait now creates a lot of lower back pain (think of Heir Flick…that’s how I now walk).

All in all its a bag of cunt. Wait until you have gangrene and we will do something.

Thank you NHS .

Nominated by lord benny

I nominate hairdressers/barbers…

No, I don’t want to tell you what I’m getting up to this weekend. Please stop asking me about what I do for a living. Will you stop moving my fucking head around like a rag doll please? Why the fuck are you shaving my neck with a dry, disposable razor?

Enduring the painful small talk, being slung about like a speed bag for a price of £20 and all for a shite, poofy haircut.

Cunts.

Nominated by Hand 2 Gland

What’s the difference? Don’t ask me. I think that it’s one is allowed to wear lederhosen, and the other isn’t. Anyways, they’re all a load of cunts. You’ll recognise one when you come across them – streaks of piss, malnourished, but feeling vastly superior to you or I.

Apart from their yearning to save the planet, they think that such a lifestyle is healthy. It has been proven that they are more susceptible to strokes with a 20% risk increase. Apart from common sense, they are deficient in choline which is essential for brain health. They also suffer from mood problems and hair loss because of a shortage of iron, zinc and protein. So, if some bald, slavering cunt with a gait approaches you on the high street, it’s likely they’re a vegetarian.

My son-in-law is a veggie. I knew him when he wasn’t. He’s been reduced from a chirpy lad who loved a pork pie to a malnourished miserable cunt in a few years. You wouldn’t mind if they kept their lifestyle to themselves, but they’re always bleating on about it. If they visit you for a meal and you go out of your way to shop for a veggie meal and prepare it, all you’ll hear is “I hope you’ve avoided cross contamination and cooked this in a separate pan?” Fuck off, you ungrateful cunt.

All these cunts do is deny upstanding members of the community, such as farmers, a living.

Nominated by Bertie Blunt Rentagont

Not a new phenomenon, unless you’re one of those people that think “proper” football started after 1992. But just lately there have been a number of incidents of racist chanting at Premier League football grounds, and that pundits are saying the players should walk off the pitch in protest; and that the alleged fans should be banned from the ground and/or charged and even imprisoned for hate crime.

But what is really annoying is that journalists and TV pundits are saying these racist chants reflect a racist society in which we live in today. In other words they’re taking a pop at the Conservative government and the “right wing” voters that crushed all opposition parties into dust at the last election.

There seems to be an ongoing conspiracy going on from the Left wing libtards such as Lily Mong, Hugh Grant, Stormzy, Steve Coogan; along with the usual suspect politicians and of course the wishy-washy media. They’ve all come to the conclusion that this country is full of racists!

They seem (or prefer) to forget that racism has been around for decades regardless of government. In fact racism at football games was almost the norm back in the 70s and 80s. So how these “experts” can suggest the more recent incidents are down to a right-wing Brexit-loving population I really do not know!

Moreover, it would seem racism only goes in one direction. For the liberal left it is perfectly okay to take a pop at “gammons” and “stupid whiteys” etc; and also seems fine for ethnic minorities to shout racist abuse at perfectly innocent normal white folk. That’s fine, according to the Left, because that’s a different form of racism. It’s a form of “justified” racism, innit?

And finally, those football fans who were caught doing racist chants, it doesn’t necessarily mean they actually support the club! They could quite easily be infiltrators/activists looking to cause trouble, which means they don’t even have to be your typical right-winger, but instead they could be some kind of Marxist agitators with a grudge.

But all of this analysis is quietly brushed under the carpet because it might cause offence. Instead, let’s just go for the usual suspects because they’re easy game!

Nice example of racism at a football match, do they compare?
https://youtu.be/hb9wA4Bz-Fc

Nominated by Technocunt