Ever rounded a corner in a shop and walked into an invisible bubble of stink? Then you’ve been stealth bombed. The effect normally kicks in just as you see someone wander off in the corner of your eye, then boom, it hits you! Some dirty bastard has just emptied their guts and swiftly walked off leaving a stagnant, heavier-than-air, chewable shit bomb for you to inhale as you unknowingly walk right into it.

Seems to be getting more frequent these days and I don’t know if its due to the prevalence of cheap, takeaway delivery services giving everyone affordable gut rot, in which case I’d call it being ‘Deliverood’, or maybe it’s due to a turn in the attitude of people, ie dropping a fart ‘bomb’ for sadistic pleasure, then watching the victim suffer it from a distance, in which case I’d call it being (Tony) ‘Blaired’.

Maybe its just all the EU lot doing it to get their own back on us, because of ‘Brexit’.

Christ knows, but I’m sick of walking into oxygen vacuum, stink bubbles deposited by these cunts when I’m in some shop or another. Maybe I should try some higher brow outlets than my local Poundland, Primark and Polski Sklep.

Nominated by Cuntry Cunt

I’ve been talking to a friend who bought a couple of Shepherd’s Huts and a couple of Yurts which he claimed to let out for anything over £100 a night, depending on dates. I thought that he was joking, especially when he told me that they contained copper baths, wood burners, etc, but apparently not. I looked up his site and it’s all true. Now, good luck to him and all that shit, but who in their right mind pays that kind of money to sit in a wooden hut, or tent in the middle of a fucking field?

I can understand proper camping (even, to a degree, caravanning)…cheap, healthy, ability to move on, etc, but what fun can there be in sitting in a fixed tent, or wooden hut for a fucking week? For the same kind of money I’d be expecting a decent bed, dinner and breakfast in a pub.

I can only assume that “Glampers” must be townies with more money than sense, who imagine that they’re “reconnecting with nature” (or some other equally appalling phrase). As far as I can see, all they are actually doing is paying a fortune to sit in an unconverted chicken shed with less room, but slightly more amenities than their own reconstituted stone, “highly sought-after”, commuter belt home.

I will also add that David Fucking Cameron owns a shepherd’s hut apparently…if my earlier points didn’t convince you, surely this one fact alone will validate my Cunting?

Fuck Glampers.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

Mohammed Alinoor Uddin, of the Tower Hamlets Uddin’s, has been jailed for 12 years for stabbing a paramedic in the heart. This demonic cunt was drunk and when the concerned emergency worker approached; Mohammed pulled out a knife and stabbed him. The paramedic pleaded and Mohammed said ‘Pick up my cap and throw it back to me, or I am going to stab you again’. Uddin has previous convictions for burglary and possessing a knife and had been released on licence the year before.

It’s increasingly clear, although blindingly fucking obvious to anyone with an unbiased mind already, peaceful coexistence with this group is impossible. The methods that are going to be required to effectively deal with the fastest growing group in Britain that: tends not to work, costs a fortune to Police, is utterly intolerant of other creeds and becomes more extreme with each passing year to the point I’d say the country’s lost.

I gently tell everyone in Scotland who I think might be receptive, the need to learn from England’s mistakes and to not repeat them. If Scotland falls I think people will have to migrate further north, or to central Europe where there are a group of countries simply forbidding entry to the Mohammeds of this world, and are being talked about like an Israel for Europeans. Depressing times.

Nominated by The Confession of Rev. Shagga

Beatrice the Contessa is marrying into a family much posher than her own: Princess, 31, will gain an Italian title and a palazzo. Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi are set to tie the knot this Spring:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8060603/How-Beatrice-Contessa-marrying-family-posher-own.html

And who will pick up the tab for this extravaganza? The ungrateful Prince “I know nuffink abaaaaaaht it” Andrew, or the incredibly rich family she is marrying into?

Nope, a very generous contribution will be made by you’ve guessed it, none other than the increasingly-hacked-off with the Royal Family, Great British taxpayer.

Fuck off.

Nominated by Willie stroker