Over the course of its existence, the EU has established a reputation for outstanding achievement in one area of activity. The plutocrats of Brussels, aided by an army of petty bureaucrats, have successfully created mountains of regulations and mile upon mile of red tape.

Unfortunately, the EU’s reputation for crisis management is lower than a snake’s belly. The bloc currently faces two huge emergencies. Firstly, there’s the ongoing migrant crisis, focused at the moment on the border between vassal member state Greece and an increasingly belligerent Turkey. Then there’s the existential threat posed by Coronavirus; in addition to the massive toll of human misery, the epidemic is likely to flush an economic shitstorm down the pipe.

Now I humbly ask, where is the EU amid this mess? It gives every appearance of behaving like a sloth on Mogadon, wallowing in inertia as a creeping paralysis sets in. Okay, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the EU elite isn’t hunkered down in the Brussels fuhrer bunker, quaffing champagne and oysters, while the continent writhes in torment. Perhaps, even as I write, a massive EU contingency plan is set to unfold, bringing aid to the beleaguered nations of the Union. The trouble, however, is that the EU gives every IMPRESSION of dither, procrastination and delay, and appearances count for much. The plutocrats appear to be sitting with their fingers up their arses when the situation cries out for determined, decisive leadership, together with the implementation of practical measures designed to mitigate against the worst excesses of the situation. The EU needs to be seen to be walking the walk.

As an adjunct , I reckon that it’s a fair bet that this hidebound monstrosity will try to use the crisis as a pretext to push for an extension to the period of post-Brexit trade negotiations. Naturally, they’ll consider themselves entitled to continue plundering our fishing waters and our coffers for the duration of the extension.

Well I’d say that more and more people in the UK are coming to see the EU for the racket that it is. If any good is to come from this mess as we come out the other side, it’s that many more people elsewhere, particularly in Italy, may start to question just what the EU is for. To paraphrase from ‘Monty Python’s Life of Brian’, ‘What has the EU done for us?’ It’s a very good question. ‘That’s the EU for you’, I’d reply. When the chips are down, it’s as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I’d bet that Il Papa could find the odd billion or so down the back of his pew to help out…

Nominated by Ron Knee

Mike Ashley is a cunt, I would be tempted to say he is the ultimate in cunts. He treats his staff like shit and encourages his supervisory team to adopt aggressive and repressive disciplinary tactics.

Now we find the stupid greedy oafish fat fucking cunt feels that his shitty knock off Fashion Not Sport shit shop is essential for the UK’s well being in a crisis.

Ashley, NO you fucking cunt.

It’s not essential, it’s cheap mass-manufactured shite you sell for too much money to ignorant cunts who don’t actually do sport, they just like to look like they do sport, the fat fucking oafs wandering … or waddling about in tacky Nike shit slippers, and voluminous baggy sweat pant set out to disguise their obese carcass underneath.

I hope you are fucking ashamed of yourself using a national crisis to leverage your shit shop into the essential category. Fortunately for your employees, the public, the transport systems, the police, NHS and all the vital services we need to stay healthy, the government has called your obtuse cunting bluff and told you to fuck the fuck off you utter cunt.

Nominated by GGRF

That despicable cunt Mike Fucking Ashley is a cunt among cunts, buys from cunts, supplies to cunts all the while acting like a total cunt, this fuck monkey has hiked his prices up now the the gyms are shut, talk about taking advantage of his customer base, they should boycott sports direct and shop elsewhere, just so the greedy, sweaty, slave driving cunts goes through the hoop, his staff would be better off working for someone else anyway as they all have to suffer this utter utter leather clad cunt cunt, treble cunt….did i mention cunts Mike Ashley you cunt, fuck you…

Nominated by Fuglyucker

Cripes and jeepers, things are getting serious. Large amounts of shit are about to hit the fan due to this nasty little Coronavirus bug.
According to Health Secretary Matt Hancock, illustrious members of the over 70s club ‘could soon be asked to self-isolate’, for our own protection. This period of isolation could last for months.

Well, this is going to be a jolly jape and no mistake. The obvious questions of how self-isolating individuals are to be kept supplied with food and medications will immediately occur to everyone, but no doubt the government will be working on some form of contingency plan. Well, let’s hope to Christ that they are. The devil will be in the detail, and boy, is there a ton of detail. What does a family do if granny lives with them; lock her up in the box room? What do you do if your boiler breaks down? Will someone be allowed in to fix it? What happens if you have a hospital appointment scheduled, or you need to see the dentist? What do you do if the MOT is due on your car? What about…

Self-isolation is going to be a right cunt and no mistake. Cue Vera Lynn; ‘we’ll meet again, don’t know where don’t know when…’

Coronavirus: what a sack of Chinese cack.

Nominated by Ron Knee

A half-time bucket and sponge and orange cunting please, for the old granny-shagger himself. Poor old Wayne, who looks as if he is wearing the lavatory brush round his chin, thinks he and his footballing friends have been treated as “guinea pigs”:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51896488

Certainly paid more than a guinea, though. If any member of his family fall ill, he is promising, er, sorry, threatening never to play again – so every cloud has a silver lining.

I am sure all manner of NHS staff are in much more immediate danger than a bunch of posing footballers.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Yes, the spud-faced scouser with pubes stuck to his head is having a tantrum over the coronavirus. Perhaps because the bingo halls are now shutting and he can’t hang around outside to bother the grannies?

Perhaps. But it seems it’s because he thinks multi-millionaire footballers like himself, are being used as guinea pigs, as they were ‘forced’ to work as the virus starting spreading. Now ‘Wazza’ is off work and will be for some months, on full pay. Wazza has homes all over the place, millions in the bank and he and his wife and kids, are in the extremely low risk group (he would’ve said if anybody wasn’t) when it comes to the Coronavirus. If needed, he can afford the very best care.

Wazza, who hasn’t had a decent game for about 10 years, is now threatening to quit the sport due to being used in such a way. That is, being regularly tested (so he can be treated quicker than anyone else) and being paid about 80 grand a week to sit at home.

Mr Potato Head also fails to mention that there are thousands of care workers, hospital workers, shop assistants and other workers in ordinary jobs working through this mess and putting themselves at risk of infection. Many who work in jobs like the catering industry (and many other jobs in general) are being laid off without pay. These people can’t pay their rent/mortgage or buy food now. Businesses are going to the wall and this cunt thinks he’s the one needing sympathy?

Fuck this granny shagging, spud-faced, pube-bonced, entitled, out-of-touch, scouse retard.

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

SPECCY WRONG-DAILY…

The most pernicious lie in the Coronavirus scare campaign is the claim over ‘herd immunity’, or, to be more blunt, the claim we are about to be subjected to a Government-sponsored genocide of the old and sick.

Chief Scientific Adviser Sir Patrick Vallance had stated that in order to finally defeat the virus, 60 per cent of the UK population would need to contract the disease at some stage, building up sufficient natural biological protection to protect the more vulnerable members of society.

This was immediately seized upon and spun as an attempt by the Government to perpetuate a new form of natural selection.

Rebecca Long Bailey’s media team took to social media to claim: ‘With the current mortality rate, that’s 780,000 deaths. Which amounts to almost twice the number of British civilian and military casualties in World War Two.’

But as a No. 10 official explained for the umpteenth time: ‘Our objective is not to secure herd immunity. Our objective is to flatten the curve of the virus’s spread to ensure the NHS and other services retain the capacity to protect the most vulnerable patients.’

Staggering that a contender for the Labour Leadership and potentially a Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition or – God forbid – our future Prime Minister – should stoop so low in order to gain political power as to spread such irresponsible fake news.

But then her nickname is ‘Wrong-Daily’…

Nominated by Dioclese