New Carlsberg Advertisements.

Probably ( not ) the best lager in the world. Okay so I know that we banged on for years and years about how wonderful our lager was when it really, really wasn’t. But that’s alright because now we’re finally prepared to admit that it was actually rancid, mass produced piss water that probably wasn’t strong enough to even get my 12 year old daughter drunk. Tell me something that I didn’t already know.

So I know that we lied to you before, but now we’d like you to believe that our new product is fit for connoisseurs and not desperate tramps who hadn’t collected quite enough change to buy anything decent.

Well call me Mr. Cynical, but I for one won’t be spending my hard earned to find out. Brewed with that authentic Danish flavour. From a factory in Northampton.
Are Carlsberg UK worthy of a good old fashioned cunting?

Probably. Twats.

Nominated by: Cupid Stunt

I nominate the future.

What? How can something which hasn’t happened yet be nominated?
Let me explain. I grew up in the 60s. There was a lot to worry about, the threat of nuclear war, grid lock on our roads, world over crowding to name a few.
But… we youngsters had faith in the future. Science could and would solve all problems. The major killer diseases would be eliminated and we believed that the 21st century would look like a Gerry Anderson wonder land. Clean, pollution free, hi-tec, well ordered without being authoritarian, safe. Having landed on the moon in 1969 we confidently expected a moonbase by the early 2000s.

Now a lot of clever things have been invented not least the Internet. But the planet does not look like we thought it would. There are still wars and unrest. Racial tensions. Wildlife decimated. And now a pandemic with 9 billion potential victims.

Please Sir! I want my 60s dream of the future back.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

Rapp pygmie Kanye West is days away from either the nuthouse or doing himself a mischief.

Hes considering running for US president (?)

Has a kid called North West, beleives all kinds of madcap shite and is a all round puddled cunt.

He recently called his mother in law, Kim un jong for conspiring with his worried missus to have him admitted to hospital, the barmpot little ryming blingrat sees no issue with his paranoid megalomania,

And resents the accusation that the future president should be carted off to the funny farm.

The whole family out freak the fuckin Munsters, and Kanye is unravelling fast.

A dead cert for Deadpool.

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

Wiley.

I’m not sure how this utter filth has slipped under the Isac radar but apparently he has (apologies if I’ve missed it). Real name Richard Kylea Cowie Jr., this cunt is a Grime artist, whatever the fuck that is. Anyway he has embarked on a series of astonishingly racist attacks on those of a Jewish persuasion that would have made even dear old ‘Dolf blush.

This cunt naturally is a BLM supporter and unforgivably was appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in the 2018 New Year Honours. The fucker has allegedly been stabbed several times which is obviously nowhere near enough. All those cunts who rush to support all this BLM bollocks have no fucking idea what they are doing or what this dangerous organisation stands for.

It’s upset Lily The Mong who had this to say: ‘Its just really sad watching communities who should be like, coming together helping each other out, turn against each other and I just feel like it’s going to get worse. I hope it doesn’t.’ Wise words, mate. Even the Black Bumming Cunts hare reported on it although you will have to find it on their Technology page:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-53560502

Nominated by: Cupid Stunt The First

With a second stab (see what I did there) from Miserable Northern Cunt:

I was going to nom Wiley too.
Wiley was awarded a MBE for being black and popular with ‘da yoof”.
Described Jews as snakes saying he didn’t care about Hitler, and when challenged by other celebs turned on them as well. The Guardian said his racism was through a cauldron of hate to do with race- whiteys fault! ?

Wiley has compared Jews to the KKK(?). Don’t know if he realises but the KKK hate Jews more than they hate blacks. Who put this shit in Wileys empty head? Marxists! Dats who! And if one BLM retard thinks this, more do.

I’m not sure if this should be two separate nominations.

I’d like to nominate people that say there is still much to be done about such and such but they are vague and don’t mention a goal or target to reach and how they will reach it.

If I was saving so I could afford something I’d know how much money to save for. Or if I had a sticker album I’d know how many stickers I’d need to complete the set.

“There’s still a long time to go until such and such is reached”

Yes. But what is the goal? Is it achievable?

Also, adverts that ask for money. “With your help we’ll one day beat/cure such and such illness/disease.” How? With what? When? Does that make sense? Answers on a postcard to:

Spooningtons Cutlery Emporium
Care of ISAC website

All respondents shall receive a free spoon (maybe).

Nominated by: Spoonington