IsAC regulars will know that I have a visceral hatred of the EU which borders on the pathological. Hardly a day passes without something new to remind me of my abject loathing of the bastards, and today is no exception.
So what’s boiling my piss this time? Well in April, Ursula von der Leyen unveiled a £2.7 bill. ‘coronavirus relief package’, with funds to be distributed throughout the bloc. The UK recently paid £750 mill. into this fund, but now the EU is demanding that we throw another £270 mill. of our wedge in the direction of the financial Black Hole of Brussels. This is on the basis that (get this) ‘the UK remains fully liable to contribute to, and fully eligible to benefit from, the fund’. So cough up, say the Brussels’ bandits, or guess what, the UK-EU trade talks will be ‘jeopardised’.
Now I stand to be corrected, but I was under the impression that the UK left the EU on 1st January. Okay, no doubt we have residual obligations to contribute to EU finances under the Withdrawal Agreement, but as I see it, the ‘recovery fund’ was formulated in the wake of the C-19 pandemic, ie AFTER we had left. On this basis, it’s unclear to me why we’ve actually ended up agreeing to contribute anything at all to this fund in the first place.
Notwithstanding the circumstances, the Brussels weasels are maintaining that we are ‘fully eligible to benefit’ from the scheme. Now I call that downright neighbourly of them, so let’s have a look at how this might actually work in the event that we throw this extra £270 mill. into the pot (put the matter of our involvement and initial contribution to the fund to one side for now). Let’s say that in its infinite generosity, Brussels graciously awards us £50-60 mill. (we could of course get fuck all, but that that would put Brussels in a very bad light politically). The funds will arrive with due fanfare, wrapped in sparking paper with a huge red bow, labelled ‘a generous gift to the people of the UK from the EU’. Remoaners will jump up and down, cheering such munificence, and shout from the rooftops about the abundance of benefits which flow from EU membership. ‘Look how foolish we were to leave!’ they’ll trill. Meanwhile of course, the reality of the situation is that we’ll be out of pocket to the tune of another £200 mill. plus.
The are two things absolutely nailed on when it comes to the UK’s financial dealings with the Bastards of Brussels; no matter how much we give them, they always want more, and we always get back less than we put in. No wonder they’re gagging for an extension to the Brexit transition period. They see us as their ever-full ATM. You honestly couldn’t make this shit up. Fuck off you grasping, parasitic cunts. Enough already.

Nomintated by Ron Knee

Oh shite, the “transphobia” saga has broken out again. Front and centre this time is Jo “Harry Potter” Rowling, who in December voiced support for a researcher who posted that “men cannot change into women”. More recently, JK responded to a headline which read “creating a more equal post C-19 world for people who menstruate”. Rowling wrote ” ‘people who menstruate’? I’m sure there used to be a word for them… wumden? wimpund? woomud…”.

Naturally howls of protest have greeted these comments, and JK’s been accused of “hating upon” marginalised people. Virtual signalling luvvies have been lining up to have a go. The most famous, Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne, opined pompously that “respect for transgender people remains a cultural imperative, and I’ve been trying to constantly educate myself… I want to make it clear where I stand… trans women are women, trans men are men”.

Now personally I’m for people living the best life they can, as the cliché has it. If Joe wants to call himself Joanne, take hormones, have surgery, wear a dress, that’s his business. Same goes for Georgina who wants be George. But I sincerely disagree with the dogma that says that it’s biologically possible for a person to change their sex. This to me is a fact of genetics; it’s in the DNA. Ultimately any changes that are made to this effect are cosmetic. It might hurt some people’s feelings to say this, but it isn’t being transphobic, it’s just pointing out the way something is in life.

Now I could walk around in a funny hat and long coat, demanding that people shout “long live the emperor!”. I could squat on all fours and howl at the moon. I could paint myself green and claim to be from the planet Zog. Persistent insistance on my part would not, however, make me Napoleon, or a wolf, or an alien. Indeed, if I persisted in identifying as an amputee, demanding the removal of a healthy limb, I’d probably be sectioned. What any of these things would make me is delusional, and I’d be regarded as such.

Transgender people travel a tough road, and I admire and respect them for the choice they make. But I do believe that sadly, they too are delusional if they think that they can actually change their sex, and I won’t collude with anyone in their delusion. That goes double for any “woke” doctrine which expects complete compliance with the view that “trans women are women, trans men are men”, and with those zealots only too ready to treat a differing view with a scream of “phobic bigot!”. If they can’t tolerate a differing view, that’s too bad.

No doubt the zealots will expect a snivelling apology from Rowling for causing “emotional trauma and stress” or what-have-you (it’s par for the course these days) but I hope she doesn’t offer one. She’s got a valid point of view and has nothing to apologise for.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

I used to have to read this pink rag for professional purposes but now only check it out for the cryptic crossword and the weekend edition. It has a section called “How to spend it” which is aimed at the idle rich with too much money and time on their hands so they buy up ludicrous “exclusive” articles like money clips, cigar cutters, decanters, gourmet ice cream etc. The more obscenely expensive, the better.

I´m sure ISACers will be tempted by some of the following items recommended in the latest edition: Victoria Beckham sunglasses “made in Italy with an angular diamond shape inspired by the ’70s”. These cool shades are going for a song at £279. A Saint Laurent Rive Droite tennis racket is just £430. Hang on, didn´t Saint Laurent die in 2008? It doesn´t really matter because no-one believes that Victoria Beckham actually designed her sunglasses except maybe peabrain Dave. Elizabeth Gage cufflinks, a bargain at a mere £4,560, and a Givenchy backpack, a giveaway at £2,550, complete my shopping list for the day.

Time to turn the page to Jancis Robinson´s wine column but as I have already cunted the old hag, I won´t inflict her latest dribblings on you.

Nominated by Mr Polly

The current bunch of cockwombles who run Doctor Who need a serious cunting.

Oh boy. I knew being woke meant that you were clinically insane, but I really didn’t know just how insane it would make you. Well, I’ve just read something about Dr Who that reveals it. Are you ready for this? Apparently, Russell T Davis, who according to people who don’t know that Dr Who has been in existence since the 1960’s, is the original showrunner, has retconned the show yet again. Now, as well as the Doctor not being a Timelord, HE has now had infinite regenerations, all well and good. Here’s the kicker though. The Doctor can’t just regenerate into a man or a woman now, HE can also regenerate into…..an animal. Yep, you read that right. The Doctor can regenerate into a fucking ANIMAL now. I can’t wait for the next attack by the Daleks.

“WE ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS…WE WILL WIPE OUT ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE. YOU CANNOT STOP US, DOCTOR”.

“MOOOOOOO!”

This is so pathetic, I’m not even angry. How much coke do you have to snort to sit in that writing room and say, “Y’know what guys? Having the Doctor played by a humanoid is sooo Y2K. Why don’t we get a donkey to play the role instead? And how much do you have to snort to actually agree? Fuck the BBC.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

YouTube cycling Vloggers.

Particularly those middle class metropolitan wankers who must spend their spare time (when not taking a knee/ basket weaving/wanking over Greta Thunberg/kiddy fiddling etc), driving around city centres (particularly Londinistan), baiting motorists so they can upload confrontations on their monetised channels.
Cunts.
A classic example is “A clown
takes a pratfall” uploaded by some smarmy cunt “uphill freewheeler”.
Mods please help a cunter and insert link, please?
Uphill fucking gardener more like-the Ronnie Pickering type driver this cunt baits almost delivers summary justice, stumbling at the last. Cunt.
I once witnessed a group of young lads surrounding a couple in their 70’s at a junction. I don’t know what heinous crime against cyclists they had committed but four twenty something lads were kicking and banging the car, the brave fuckers. The couple could not pull onto the main road as it was busy and looked terrified. When I got out and remonstrated, they fucked off.
In my humble opinion, these latex clad, head cam wearing, Greta worshipping bane to the motorist deserve a thorough cunting.
I post this as a brief distraction from Kung-flu, black-lies-matter et al.
What thinks the board?

Nominated by Cuntfinder General