It looks like we’ve finally got our (least) favourite little Communist agitator in checkmate. Feast your eyes on today’s opinion piece from him and pay special attention to the caption below the photo:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jul/29/twitter-boycott-racism-social-media-wiley-newspapers
Afterall “they all look the same, don’t they?!” Priceless!!!
Nominated by: Cunt me in
(Couldn’t have happened to a nicer cunt! – admin)
I’ve been meaning to do this nomination for quite some time, and now I’ve finally got around to it. Walts are cunts.
For those who don’t know, a Walt is someone who pretends to be either serving military or a veteran without ever having served. It’s short for Walter Mitty. Some of them go as far as buying medals and regimental blazers, which they turn up to Remembrance Day parades wearing. Some of the more malicious ones pretend to be collecting for a military charity, often some bullshit one that they’ve made up. I find these cunts as offensive as SJW’s find normal people. More, actually.
A good example of this was the cunt who came into a pub that my wife and I were having lunch in, along with some old Army friends, a couple of years ago. He was pretending to be a Royal Marine, dressed in the current MTP (multi terrain pattern) uniform, with a 2 Lt’s rank tab. He was collecting money for a Marine charity that he’d made up. Straight away, my friends and I could tell that he was Walt. He was wearing Velcro Royal Marines Commando shoulder flashes just above his elbow. The clue is in the name, SHOULDER flashes. Those things are worn with pride and no commando, Marine or Army, would ever make that mistake.
There were other details too. Most people don’t know this, and he clearly didn’t, but British military berets are designed to be shrunk and shaped. His hadn’t and looked like a fucking helicopter landing pad. Also, it was the wrong shade of green. The commando beret is Lovatt green, after Lord Lovatt, the first CO of the commandos. This prick was wearing a pale green beret. He didn’t look like your typical Rupert either. In fact, he looked like a junkie. And the look on his fucked up face when I and one of my friends told him that we’d actually been commandos was one of sheer panic. He told us that he was retired now, but had served 18 years. So my mate asked if he’d enlisted and then got a commission. He said that he’d gone in as an officer, which is complete bullshit. NOBODY serves that long without getting promoted. You either get promoted, or binned.
The biggest give away though, was the rosary tattooed on his right hand with the cross between his thumb and forefinger. It was obviously an old tattoo, and had he actually served, he would have known that tats below the wrist are verboten under military regulations. And I have yet to meet a serving Rupert who had a tattoo below the elbow.
We told him that we knew he wasn’t a genuine veteran, and probably hadn’t served a day in his life, at which point he became aggressive and started to make threats, which was pretty dumb considering five of our eight person group were real veterans.
I was quite happy to take it outside. Unfortunately the pub’s manager had seen what was happening, and that things were getting heated. He become concerned enough to call plod. They turned up and escorted the cunt out of the pub. I don’t know what compels people like this to pretend they’re something they’re not, and I don’t care. It’s wrong. It’s offensive to actual veterans and serving personnel. And if you’re one of these people, you’re an utter cunt!
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
New Carlsberg Advertisements.
Probably ( not ) the best lager in the world. Okay so I know that we banged on for years and years about how wonderful our lager was when it really, really wasn’t. But that’s alright because now we’re finally prepared to admit that it was actually rancid, mass produced piss water that probably wasn’t strong enough to even get my 12 year old daughter drunk. Tell me something that I didn’t already know.
So I know that we lied to you before, but now we’d like you to believe that our new product is fit for connoisseurs and not desperate tramps who hadn’t collected quite enough change to buy anything decent.
Well call me Mr. Cynical, but I for one won’t be spending my hard earned to find out. Brewed with that authentic Danish flavour. From a factory in Northampton.
Are Carlsberg UK worthy of a good old fashioned cunting?
Probably. Twats.
Nominated by: Cupid Stunt
I nominate the future.
What? How can something which hasn’t happened yet be nominated?
Let me explain. I grew up in the 60s. There was a lot to worry about, the threat of nuclear war, grid lock on our roads, world over crowding to name a few.
But… we youngsters had faith in the future. Science could and would solve all problems. The major killer diseases would be eliminated and we believed that the 21st century would look like a Gerry Anderson wonder land. Clean, pollution free, hi-tec, well ordered without being authoritarian, safe. Having landed on the moon in 1969 we confidently expected a moonbase by the early 2000s.
Now a lot of clever things have been invented not least the Internet. But the planet does not look like we thought it would. There are still wars and unrest. Racial tensions. Wildlife decimated. And now a pandemic with 9 billion potential victims.
Please Sir! I want my 60s dream of the future back.
Nominated by: Lord Helpuss
Rapp pygmie Kanye West is days away from either the nuthouse or doing himself a mischief.
Hes considering running for US president (?)
Has a kid called North West, beleives all kinds of madcap shite and is a all round puddled cunt.
He recently called his mother in law, Kim un jong for conspiring with his worried missus to have him admitted to hospital, the barmpot little ryming blingrat sees no issue with his paranoid megalomania,
And resents the accusation that the future president should be carted off to the funny farm.
The whole family out freak the fuckin Munsters, and Kanye is unravelling fast.
A dead cert for Deadpool.
Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt