So the old Swedish tarte is living her life post menopause (claims to be 52) in quiet retirement in the tabloids. Not so long ago it was “Ulrica is dating again” with accompanying soft cheese shots and now this, the above. We take pause. Then we give thanks. At least it is not a grey haired open minge trout pout shot with the old titties oite.

What we have gentlemen is a presentiment orf the wife in fifty years time if we allow it too many holidays in the sun. Watch oite Dioclese and those sun-kissed cruises with ‘er Indoors. Keep a mask on ‘er.

Point is Ulrika according to the copy “worships the sun” hence the leather back turtle vibe. Word to the wise Ulrica, if sojourning in the souks and casbahs orf Morocco avoid the leather markets or the wogs will skin that old face and neck orf yours and knock up a nice handbag and a pair orf sandals.

The good news is that Ulrika remains available and so if any young cunter fancies a mature Swedish massage with truck grease and molybdenum (her speciality moisturiser) apply to a tabloid orf your choice.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/12104322/ulrika-jonsson-52-post-shower-selfie-hair-wash-8-days/

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

(The softer side of Amber. Would you kick her out of bed? – admin)

Now, I have no sympathy whatsoever for that cunt Depp. More fanny than he can cope with, yet he hooks up with a fucking psycho like that.

However, I am sick to death of seeing this self pitying manipulative demented nutjob’s ‘feel sorry for me’ face all over the web and the papers. There’s a plague and riots going on, yet they are more interested in this dribbling claws out fruitcake. She is just another Hollyweird psycho. Seen one, seen ’em all.

Nominated by: Norman 

A quick AmsterGodDamned cunting for cunt English beer boys on tour.

Now that the corona bollocks is subsiding the tourists are returning to the city and I’m glad for that, but here’s how I noticed. Fucking pasty skinned, noisy, ugly tattooed English boys. You can spot ’em a mile off.. I usually venture closer to confirm my suspicions and tragically I’m always right.

They’re a fucking embarrassment. We Brits have a reputation for holding our drink but these lot make a mockery of that. Just because you can do 8 pints of Carling or whatever piss passes for lager in Wetherspoons doesn’t mean you can repeat the act with the Belgian beers. Smoke a bit of the local and round it off with some dried out Zovirax cut with amphetamine (that’s the recipe for fake coke) and you have the recipe for making a right fucking cunting CUNT of yourself and it’s nothing short of fucking shameful.

Several locals have remarked to me that it’s odd that these types can afford a sleasyjet ticket, a few nights in a hostel, booze, drugs and food but they can’t afford a proper pair of fucking trousers! Trackie wearing shitcunts.

Nominated by: Recuntable Cunt

After years of stripping the heart and soul out of working at British Airways he appointed himself CEO of International Airlines Group (IAG) where he carried out his “small man” fantasy To dominate the airline industry.

Surrounded by Cunts who made the progression from British Airways the nasty little fucker sought to buy up struggling carriers who did not enjoy the luxury of an unfair monopoly of landing slots at London Heathrow (which have given BA their dominance for decades.)

Walsh was due to have retired earlier this year but announced that he was staying on to “Manage” the COVID-19 pandemic. This was a thinly veiled guise to put the boot in and attempt to sack all the staff at British Airways. Something he had failed to achieve in his miserable little reign of terror at the once iconic business.

He’s a right little Cunt.

Nominated by: Dallas McIntosh 

Washington Redskins and the Dixie Chicks.

Well well well. The madness continues and I have no idea when this will end. As you have all heard the above cunts have decided to change their names due to the twitterati mob. Fuck you all with a cheese grater.

Washington Wokes and the Cunty Chicks.

Best I could come up with on short notice cunting.

My piss has evaporated.

Nominated by: Once a cunt always a cunt