Just have your Grandson win a golden ticket you’ll be out of bed in no time.

So getting old is a cunt,

A little back ground, I used to do “stuff” I would carry my body weight run for miles, shoot shit I even got medals for it and now.

Well the not walking bit I got used to, now I have a bit of a belly. I can still see my cock ( it fires dairy lea now and not cottage cheese, but that’s another story).

My eyes are fucked!, I can see in the distance better than most but some of the things I buy in the supermarket are not quite I expected when I get them home. In fact I seem to have transformed into one of those old codgers from a meet the regiment reunion.

The Mrs has IBS, so I thought she would be a bit understanding, last month we went on a dog walk, I cant walk that fast any more but dropped lots of hints, we need to go home (hint fucking hint).

So almost at the door.. finish line I just said, well I have shit myself now so it does not matter ( fortunately not past cheeks), she suggested that after 10 years together that we need to stop “sharing these things” but fuck it, if she can turn round due to IBS why do I have to do a slow motion BFT when I am not feeling so good?
This getting old business is not playing well with me.

Nominated with far too much information that I personally wished to read at this time of day by – lord benny(not quite deceased, but close)

Selfie takers are now becoming a regular occurrence on ISAC these days but i couldn’t resist this one, natural selection has just sent 11 muppets to the afterlife for doing brain dead things, shocking.

Darwyn award for these useless cunts and just as well to, is it me or are the general world wide population becoming stupider [is that a word] , common sense is no longer common, any people who can think logically are going to be bred out in the next couple of generations and the god help us all, a world run by total fuckwits…..

Lightening Strikes in India

Nominated by: Fuglyucker 

Open your hearts or your legs for a red rosette cunting for the skanky MP and recently “sacked” wimminz who now has three jobs gifted by Keiro the Clown:

https://twitter.com/AngelaRayner/status/1414498287097454592

As with the knee photo both eyes firmly fixed on the media

So refusing to take the knee and saying why is now regarded as “waycisr”

Imagine the state of this country if this old whore ever gets her shitty fingers on the levers of power.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs 

One of the most important changes to the law in recent times happened last night. Not that you would really know that today as the media are bleating on about fucking football and racism, again.. – side note: George Floyd mural in USA was destroyed by lightning yesterday AHAHA.

MP’s were not briefed and expected to vote on this emergency piece of legislation with just 90 minutes of debate. They were also not provided any real evidence. The ‘impact assessment’ of making jibjabs compulsory has yet to be completed.. vote first, ask questions later.

Conservative MP William Wragg said, “The government is treating this House with utter contempt. Ninety minutes on a statutory instrument to fundamentally change the balance of human rights in this country is nothing short of a disgrace.”.

So care workers, who have worked for 16 months just fine without a jibjab, will now lose their jobs if they don’t take an emergency approved medical procedure that is still in the experimental trial phase. Complete breach of the Nuremberg code and other international laws, but what the fuck does this government care.

Similar legislation was passed in tandem in Greece and France. One suspects their legislation will be similarly explicit, yet vague, opening the door to compulsory vaccination in other sectors and industries too. Of course, this is all just ‘mere simultaneous incompetence’ by national governments, nothing coordinated and untoward you understand.

I find it hard not to laugh. The situation is so upside down and blatantly outrageous, the media is almost silent, and no one seems to bat an eyelid.

ps French granny muff diver, Macron, proclaimed yesterday that it may be necessary to make the vaccination compulsory for the entire nation, and will be introducing the Israeli style vax pass medical apartheid system. (There is the separate nom scheduled for this cunt – Day Admin)

Nominated by: The Big Chunky Cunty

Compulsory Jabs for Care Home Workers Fury

Floyd Mural Struck by Lightning

Lightning Strike Destroys George Mural

“For just 200 grand, you too could fly to space, just like that Richard Branston Pickle cunt,” said the fake publicity piece I just made up.

Only, would you really go to ‘space’. Now, I’m no massive science cunt, but the traditional line within the scientific community for ‘outer space’ is at 100 kilometres above sea level. It’s known as the ‘karma chameleon line’ or summat. Alright, the ‘Karman Line’.

Beardy’s flight goes about 10 km short of this. NASA, an American government agency remember, set the bar lower in recent years, some say, to make it easier and cheaper to give stripes to their ‘astronauts’. When some cunt from the military comes in and says “How many astronauts have you trained this year with our money?”, they can give a favourable answer. So the theory goes, anyway.

Now I don’t know much about all this as you can tell, but if I paid 200k to go to space, I’d want to go to space. Not 10km from where it starts. Space keeps getting lower. I think in 5 years, he’ll be offering you the chance to stand on a chair for 20 grand a pop.

Almost space though. It’s like paying for a pint and almost drinking it. “Have a look. Have a sniff. Put your tongue about a centimetre from touching the froth on the top of your pint…That’ll be £3.50 please. Now fuck off.”

I missed all the hype about this, because if I see his grinning beardy minge face, I instantly switch over. Then I heard yesterday, that he was minutes away from blasting into space. And it was live on the interwebs. Well, I just had to see that.

I expected, probably foolishly, to see a big fucking rocket like Saturn V blasting off with Beardy inside, crying for his mum and shitting his pants while screaming, ‘I wanna get off! I wanna get off!”

What did I see? A fucking plane taking off and then the ‘rocket’ doing the last part of the climb to ‘almost space’.

What a crock of shite.

Typical virgin. Not taking you all the way.

Virgin in Space

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Just for fun here’s an added Jeff Bezos in space cunting courtesy of – Fuglyucker

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jul/20/jeff-bezos-rocket-design-an-inquiry

Jeff Bazos and his flying cock, this cunt one of the richest men in the world, this is because all his Amazon staff work for next to fuck all.
Good ol Jeff has had the neck to thank all his Amazon staff for making it possible for him to be able to be shot into space it what looks to me like a sex toy costing millions.
His Amazon staff must be so pleased their hard work, sweat and graft has mad it possible for this cunt to be able to look down on them from space as well as his security cameras and tell them when they are allowed to take a piss….slave driving cunt