I didn’t take 15 minutes searching for this image.

Weddings.I hate weddings.
Having to dress up all posh, being on my best behaviour, not getting pissed and insulting people and  listening to boring cunts,

Posh food. Missus loves them but god, I hate weddings. Always tempted to start a food fight, dont get me wrong, im not antisocial, I love a good funeral!! But weddings???

Shite music too, all schmaltz, sickly and best man speeches, you’re not allowed to Boo them. Luckily im such a cunt I dont get invited to many,  word of past misdemeanours has spread and I look like Lurch in a suit. Fuck weddings ?

https://youtu.be/8Wi7SYKDvY4

Nominated by – Miserable Northern cunt

All hail generic 1990s student posters.

The stench of weed, skunk or whatever the fucking choice of word.

I don’t know if this has been nominated in the past? Either way I’m fucking sick of the smell of this shit.

Growing up in the 60’s I remember the smell of Moroccan, Afghan black, Lebanese gold etc. From what I recall the whiff was pleasant compared to modern day dope.
It’s everywhere and it fucking stinks. Even those who smoke it stink of it. I’ve sold my house this week because of it.

I had a few friendly words with my neighbour and told him of the skunk smell permeating the wall cavities etc. and getting into our house. Windows open, no fucking chance. Friends round nope too embarrassing.

Their idea of addressing the problem is, Mother, Father, Three sons and girlfriends now all smoke it in the shed ffs. A crackhouse in the garden. I’ve raised the fencing two foot to hide the den but the weed still wafts over and this nice weather brings everybody out.
I thought of phoning the police or council but moving seemed a better option and we sold the first day at 10k above so happy about that.

Why should I have to move because society has now accepted the use of skunk or weed in general. It’s fucking everywhere, you can smell it on a walk, outside a pub, in a park or coming out of open windows.

I don’t have a problem with anyone smoking cannabis but this stuff is too pungent, for me anyway. Almost forgot, from what I remember of smoking resin people laughed a lot, got the munchies and sex was better, but that could be an age thing. Nowadays there seems to be a lot of psychosis involved.

https://bit.ly/3wSBDrH

Nominated by – Infidelgastro

Not to be confused with the 1980’s hair metal band.

I think I may have cunted these backwards and confused aging women before, but the BBC have decided it’s time for us to hear about them again in a recent news story, so here I am to tell them they are hypocritical cunts again.

“Women’s state pension: Compensation closer for Waspi campaigners – BBC News” https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57900320.amp

WASPI stands for ‘Women against state pension inequality’, hold on to that last word inequality, as hear in lies the hypocrisy. They have an issue that they feel they weren’t given enough notice that their state pension age was rising from 60 to be EQUALISED with men, somehow they believe this is inequality.

They claim that because of short notice they’ve lost out financially? I don’t get how you would lose out financially, unless you’d decided to stop working earlier than retirement age anyway, in that case tough shit for being a lazy cunt and expecting your other half to keep working.

Anyway they now want compensation, because obviously they do. Don’t get me wrong state pension ages going up is a kick in the teeth, or in my case a man in his mid thirties, I personally doubt I’ll ever see a state pension. But for your group to be about inequality, pissing and moaning when your retirement age is made equal is a bit rich.

Unfortunately you’ll just have to swallow that you didn’t like the outcome of asking for equal rights. Can’t have your cake and eat it. Luckily only women born in the 1950’s are up in arms about this, so this group of money grabbing, whinge bags will die out relatively soon and I won’t have to hear about them any more.

Nominated by – elcuntio 

(Yes, this is the real deal! – Day Admin)

I might be a bit harsh nominating Fernando as clearly he can’t be right in the head.
Perhaps the Brazilian mental health services or whichever surgeons and dentists have carried out the various procedures are the real cnuts in this case.
The pictures in the attached link let you know all you need to know. Be warned, they aint pretty.
How in Dogs name can anyone do that to themselves or, in the case of the tattoo artist/dentist/surgeon, to a fellow human?
It makes that other Brazilian fr ea k addicted to surgery, Rodrigo (now Jessica) Alves – the human Ken Doll as was – look normal.

Tattoo Artist Turns into an Orc

Nominated by: Dickie Dribbler

And on the subject of body mutilation, here’s this from Fuglyucker 

A nom for cunts who have stretched out their ear lobes until they resemble uncooked kalimari, I was queuing behind Some cunt today with dangly, wobbly and quite frankly fucking disgusting swinging ear lobes.

This fucking rank trend is done by sticking bigger and bigger plugs into a hole in the ear lobe until it is stretched out like Katy Prices Lacky, slacky snatch.

What do these fuckers do when they have had enough of the dirty, grungy unemployed look, I suppose there must be doctors out there to correct this fucking abortion, while they are about it some mental counselling is also recommended for the comedy onion ring eared jug head cunts…..

Went out for a walk yesterday evening after sunset, just now noticed five large red lumps on the back of my leg, itching like fuck.

Even more annoying is their ability to produce five bites in an exact straight line, as if they used a midge sized ruler.

Fortunately I have plenty of TCP. Bastard midges, or whatever they were.

Nominated by: mystic maven 

and this from Cuntologist

May I second this?

Woke up with 12 bites up and down both legs, made for a very uncomfortable day and my legs look like they have leprosy.

Some of those bites swelled like balloons (albeit tiny balloons made by The Borrowers.) Brought out the Jungle Formula; seems to repel the little bastards. Rubbing alcohol works on the itching, perfume will do as well.

And a third, from The Big Chunky Cunty

Thirded

Fucking biting black flies in the park. If I stand still it takes about 15 seconds for a mass of black flies to come out of nowhere and blitzkrieg my shins and triceps, stabbing me up good. Absolutely relentless little cunts.

I swear I was never appetizing to the bastards years ago.

(Black Flies Matter – Day Admin)

And a fourth, this time from Dick Dribbler

Admin, if you’re going to run this nom you might want to consider adding the link below (same story running on many local rags). As we’re in peak horsefly season they are probably to blame for Mystic Maven’s nibbled leg.

Nasty Horsefly Bites

and there’s more, this time from Merlin’s Droopy Sleeve

So-called “Fruit” Flies

Hello cunters! I would like to draw your attention to these little bastards.

Once upon a long ago, these flies used to just land on (and also squeeze a little fly dump on) your fruit – especially bananas. They were a bit of a pain in the arse – nowhere near as bad as your average wasp, but still annoying.

Well not anymore, now they land on anything they can fucking find: empty beer bottles that still smell of beer, teacups, empty pot noodle pots, full dustbin bags – basically anything that smells like food or drink. Occasionally they remember that they are supposed to like fruit too and actually land on a banana once in a while.

Since they are not just after fruit anymore their original name is out-of-date, I think it should be changed to something more appropriate. I have started calling them Pita Flies: PITA stands for “pain in the arse”. Or as a homage to ISaC, I guess I could call them Cuntflies.