About 20+ years ago when I thought I was a dynamic entrepreneur I subscribed in the hope business would come my way. It didn´t. It just brought hustlers and conmen telling me how great they were, trying to sell things to me which I didn´t want. So I gave up and unsubscribed.

Well I thought I had until recently because I obviously still exist in Link In´s cyberspace and am now being bombarded daily with crap telling me how to reinvent my career and explore new “exciting” opportunities.

As I couldn´t give a damn about my “career” anymore and am happy to sink into obscurity it´s just another irritation. However, I have noticed that several people I worked with back in those days are still active and it´s pathetic to see how they are still trying to sell themselves although they must be nearing the end of their shelf lives.

One woman has become the marketing director of a multinational. Good for her but at what a cost. She writes North Korean-style “inspiring” items almost every day, is forever congratulating colleagues on their “achievements” and even uses incidents from her personal life to flag the company message. She has even stooped so low as to regale us with details about her son´s first job and how proud she is of him, complete with photographs. God knows what the boy feels like.

Every one of her comments has her employer´s logo along with its corporate motto. I wonder how she will feel about this slavish public obsequiousness when she is fired and replaced by a younger cheaper sycophant.

The social media has turned people into slaves.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

“Neighbours…..everybody needs good neighbours”

So sang Tony Hatch back in the days when Kylie was more likely to be wearing a pair of dungarees than a pair of gold hotpants
(Tony Hatch wrote the music & Jackie Trent wrote the lyrics, but neither of them sang it. The original was crooned by Barry Crocker. Just sayin’. Carry on – NA)

…….sorry got lost in thought for a moment there.
(Hopefully the pic helped you re-focus – NA)

Ahem. Anyway, Tony was right – everybody needs good neighbours.
Now to be fair to them. They could be much worse than they are. I’ve seen these neighbours from hell programmes on the idiot lantern and there are some total, belligerent, psychotic bastards out there.

My main gripe is that they are loud. They play music that I can only describe as “Now that’s what I call Garage/Urban/is you disrespectin’ me fam 2021” and then other times it’s some shite like Adele wailing.

Other times they have blazing rows. I’ve actually heard him call her a c**t, which shocked me believe it or not. But she can dish it out as much as he can. She had me chuckling like Mutley on one occasion and I had to go to another room in case they heard me.

Thing is they don’t seem to think anyone can hear them.

I hear them having a barney and then I hear them making up again afterwards – specifically moaning and a bed creaking. ?

I’m not a prude but it’s so cringeworthy that I either have to go out or put loud music on to drown them out.

In the words of Holly Humberstone The walls are way too thin!

Nominated by: Harold

Green voting Brighton residents and their Council are cunts.

Apparently the residents of that Green Nirvana formerly known as Brighton are voicing their anger as they wade knee deep in their own crap:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-58922772

Ha ha, fucking, ha. Put yogurt slurping, sandal wearing, vegan cunts in in charge of your local authority and your borough becomes the destination of choice for rats.

Sympathy must be hard to find. Have a fucking pride march or something to take your virtue signalling minds off the stench., cunts.

Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

M.C.’s at sporting events

Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? They use them at all kinds of sporting events now. Even heard them being used at footy matches, in Germany in particular for some reason. I’m not really into T20 cricket, but seeing as the World Cup is on, I’d thought I’d give it a go for an hour or so.

The opening game, which is on as I type this, is being ruined by some MC (which must stand for ‘Mouthy Cunt’ in his case) shouting out all sorts of unintelligible ‘rapper’ type shit.

He’s loud as fuck and doesn’t shut up. He’s shouting and playing drill/hip hop ‘tunes’ after every fucking shot.

Whoever thought this up should be strangled to death in front of his crying children. Off it goes.

Get fucked.

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Improper use of cutlery.

Ads for pre made meals as in dinner for lazy middle class cunts or calorie controlled meals for dim fat cunts and those ones for pre-portioned ingredients to make yourself dinner at twice the price of a shop and several times more the packaging waste (a cunting for all those later).

Without exception none of the actors use a fork properly and it severely gets on my tits.

Even though I’m a working class colonial descended from highland barbarians I was brought up to use cutlery properly not to hold a fork in my right hand not use it “as a shovel” as mum used to say.

Left hand, tynes inverted or you may as well shove your face into a plate like a dog or eat on the floor with your hands like a rug pilot. It’s little things like this that signal the end of civilisation FFS.

Also using a spoon in your left hand NO!

I’m sure there’s a God that act particularly riles, most likely Yasur and he will punish you.

Nominated by: Shackledragger cunt