Anyone who knows me at all will assume that I hate Christmas, but this simply isn’t so. I actually like Christmas. What I hate is all the shit, that goes with – or more precisely before – Christmas.
As our Christmas song pointed out a couple of years back “it starts in September, goes on through December and peaks in November in Black Friday Week” and this year is even worse.
The muzak and tat in the shops is bad enough and so is the rampant commercialism. But this year seems to have hit a new low. I blame John Lewis for starting it all off and now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon with their very own Christmas Advert.
These toe curling piles of excrement feature the most tear jerking, long winded, bastardisations of any traditional or even approximately traditional stories the ad men can get their hands on, no doubt extracting vast piles of gelt for their efforts.
From Aldi’s Dicken’s Christmas Carrot, some half arsed rendering of ET from John Lewis, M&S with no less than TWO Christmas ads, Lidl carving the turkey with some kind of light sabre – the list is endless.
But they all have two things I common : the groaning tables full of toe-curlingly gluttonous mountains of food, and the fact that they are all way too long. I never watch live commercial TV channels and always record programs to watch later just so I can fast forward the ads. Life’s too short to spend 25% of your telly time watching ads.
It’s certainly much to short to spend it watching these piles of crap.
And if you really can’t bear to miss them, here’s a link to a run down of this year’s top ten, published in, irony of ironies, the non commercial BBC’s very own organ, the Radio Times.
‘Stuff your arse with sprigs of Holly, Trala la la la, Lala la ouch’
Humbug.
Nominated by: Dioclese
And seconded by: Spanky Mc Spank
I second this one, I hate advertising in general but the Christmas ones are the pinnacle of festering dog shit.
The product of some committee and coked-up execs who think they know what people want, these commercials are just part of the problem that is “Christmas”
Greed, debt, alcoholism and forced enjoyment wrapped up in some sort of false celebration of a magical sky fairy that nobody believes in and half the imported population doesn’t recognise.
If the execs really think we sit round a table heaving with shite while the united nation of coloured folk dance to Jingle Bells they are indeed deluded.
Now I have a machine gun…Ho Ho Ho
And there’s more, this time from Shitonshoe
Christmas TV adverts …..Christmas TV adverts.. how many I’m fucking colours do you have to have in your family to go on television…
The next time some fucking stupid PC wet behind ears nappy wearing moron.. decides that every family has to have a black cunt or a Chinese cunk or even a ginger cunting member sitting round a table smiling cutting up a fucking turkey at Christmas… it’s beyond belief..
And you can’t even buy a fucking sofa unless you’re black… Unbelievable Jeff.
All these adverts are targeted at Wimminz with sickly sweet sentimentality, piles of prezzies and tables buckling under the weight of food. It seems to work in my experience. Have you ever been in a supermarket on Christmas Eve? I did it once, never again. It’s Wimminz, with the occasional compliant and patient male, stripping the shelves bare and piling any shit they can find into bulging trolleys. No way are they going to run out of anything on the one day of the year the shops are shut.
But let’s face it the whole Christmas thing couldn’t happen without Wimminz. If it was left to blokes there would be no trees, no decorations, no prezzies, no cards…..just 2 days of noshing, boozing and kipping.
The advertising cunts know who their audience is.
27
Consumerism is mostly driven by the ladies.
It almost makes me wish I had a Twitter account so I could post that, and get it closed down…
5
Love Christmas.
Hate w09s.
😁
That’s the subliminal messages im getting from adverts.
Ive a mind to sue them?
Before this shite I was head of diversity for Bristol university.
One love!✊
Jah Rastafari 🌴
16
after giving up TV and mainstream media for about 6 to seven years at this stage I’m not to affected , except when i go to one of those shopping centres
10
Craggy island shopping mall?
😁😁
Afternoon Mecuntry!
7
Afternoon me old skin .i preferred the craggy days than this global shitfest that masquerades as sophisticated society
fucking about pretending we care. As if, the egos that promote such shit are only in it for themselves
9
I agree but at least Christmas is a thing. The last month has been a shit fest of “Black Friday “. What even is that?
7
RH@ – Not sure but misinterpreting the meaning of “Black Friday” and attempting to purchase a “boy for manual labour” is very much frowned on in certain places these days!
Amazon were somewhat rude..
16
I was in the States for Thanksgiving five years ago (We have American family, an aunt was a GI bride) . Thanksgiving is always on the next to last Thursday of November and is a big deal in the States when friends get together to eat Turkey and get well boozed up. That leaves a problem with what to do on the Friday as many workers called in sick following Thanksgiving, well you would, wouldn’t you.
Traditionally retailing operates at a loss (in the red) for most of the year and only makes a profit (in the black) during the Christmas trading period, which in the Sates is deemed to be the day after Thanksgiving, hence Black Friday.
To kick the retail season off there are many supposed reductions, although according to the current edition of that essential reading for old farts, Which, (you have to be over about 86 to read it) most are false reductions.
Aren’t you glad you asked RTC? 🙂
8
when i was growing up in the 60s and 70s we never had black anything, we never had that halloween shit either, all this american shit needs to end
4
Bad enough they start in late September, add in the fact every advert seems to feature a freak, a totally disproportionate level of non white people and mixed race couples and the fact none of the climaloons mention the “obvious environmental damage” done by having those quality goods shipped from China – commercialism has ruined the real spirit of Christmas, which should be about celebrating the birth of Santa by eating weird stuff and getting very pissed – if Christianity is so great why did Mary and Joseph travel at Christmas – they MUST have known everywhere would be fully booked! And if I was the Messiah I would chase any fucker out the stable if they brought me gold, frankincense and myrrh – where’s my fkin motorbike?
And I am not putting my 15 year old fibre optic tree up until it gets dark and I can crowbar into this fkin lamppost!
21
Of the ‘Top Ten’, Asda is the only one I ever buy anything from, and I’d say their advert is pretty innocuous. If the bosses of the other 9 think their ads will induce me to waste money on their shit, they really are too fucking stupid to be running a big company. Wasting their shareholder’s dosh to keep advertising executives in luxury. Gullible morons.
10
Not even a packet of Minstrels®?
6
i’d buy minstrels if they did white choc too, B&W minstrel show was good
1
i used to get a few special xmas items from M&S but since they went woke with pronoun badges and male staff in fucking skirts they’ved joined my boycott list along with ikea, sainsbury and john lewis…fuck the perverted cunts
3
i remember when i was younger the baby Jesus struck a cord even if you weren’t Catholic. visiting a crib in the church and respecting even if you were doubtful
it was a message for forgiveness and love sharing warmth.
It had to be exploited of course by the money whore mongers and it is what it is now rather meaningless and just a party of presents and excess
10
well it was compulsory at school when i was a kid, not catholic but anglican CofE, carol singing, harvest festival and all that jazz…now its bowing down in the school flower beds and little cunts called poojar wailing and fasting …not the same fun as being an angel or a shepherd in the nativity play with nan and grandad watching
0
I’m totally behind these cuntings. These cunts have killed Christmas. Their syrupy adverse encouraging the masses to embrace Christmas spending from tenge end of October.
M&S are the polar opposite of Christmas as are all these corporate monsters.
7
Merry Xmas comrade cunters ! ⛇ 👨
My mega consignment of Kiwi® shoe polish is on its way.
And a packet of Minstrels® as well.
7
The following appeared in my inbox this week and I thought worth a read:
julieburchill.substack.com/p/triple-humbugs-all-round
2
I saw an Oxo advert that doesn’t follow the agenda. I was quite impressed with them going against the flood of all the usual cuntness. Ironic that all there products are brown.
6
*Spoiler alert!! *
I have just heard a Christmas ad with sung backing, with the word “golly.”…
May e things are looking up.
Sadly, don’t think it was for Robertson’s Blackberry Jelly.
5
Modded for Robertson’s?!
3
Once again I will get socks instead of an SS uniform..
13
They might have utter, utter cunts, but you’ve got to admit they had a bit of swagger with it in those Hugo Boss outfits.
11
Rather have Christmas Dinner with Addy, Hermie & Co, than Flabbott, Suckdick Khunt, Lammy, Butler & Co.
Every-fucking-time!
😉
8
I bet flabbots Christmas is, to put it mildly, fucking filthy. Full of male white waiters scantily clad in daisy dukes being abused, mountains of southern fried chiggun, cocaine as starters, shit smeared up the wall in the downstairs bog, violence, a bit of gun play in the living room and at the end of the evening Monopoly where all the money dissapears.
8
Sort of “furcoat no knickers?
They might of been very naughty boys but always dead smartly turned out.
If Nuremberg had been a fashion trial theyd of got a ‘not guilty’!
7
RK@ – Don’t remind anyone of that – I have a Hugo Boss suit and a somewhat sullied local reputation..
6
These mixed race and black families certainly put on a spread.
13
Amazing what they can loot, nowadays🤔
23
Isn’t there a few pubs where you can stay and get away from all Xmas shite?
Sounds like a plan, especially if there’s the odd bit of fanny to empty the sack.
10
What makes me absolutely want to top myself is that it not just the fucking adverts. Nowadays cunts even send you an e-mail inviting you to ‘be the first to see our Christmas advert’, like it’s a twatting national event or something.
What a sack of shit.
8
I particularly hate that grinning cunt in a Lidl festive jumper.
6
IsAC should produce its own Christmas advert for next year to counter the creeping wokeness onto Christmas. It’ll probably end up with everyone back at Fiddler Towers lighting their own farts on his snooker table after breaking out Dicks vintage brandy and not a tranny or dark key to be seen.
(Speaking of snooker tables… – Day Admin)
6
What about a Christmas Day message from Admin, 3 o’clock on the 25th?
‘My cunters end aye…’.
(I suspect that come 3pm on CD, Night Admin will still be pulling his cracker, other Admins will be stuffed and enjoying 40 winks after a large Christmas Dinner at Admin Towers. While I will be looking after the site as per bleedin’ usual! – Day Admin)
6
Take the day off mate. You’ve earned it, looking after us lot on here!
6
Hasn’t HBO had an advert criticising Santa Claus as being a symbol of white supremacism? Lots and of potty mouthed words (about excrement, mostly) aimed at kids too.
I saw a bit of it and it was a fucking disgrace. Still, anti white racism is perfectly acceptable, it seems.
8
Isn’t there a gay Santa advert doing the rounds?
I want a Salma Hayek in a VERY revealing Santa outfit advert, asap!
Ring dem bells, baby!
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/06/9868837/salma-hayek-brown-hair-highlights-summer
8
Nice pics Ron but what the hell are you doing skulking about on Refinery29?
2
If Salma’s hanging out there, I’m hanging out there! God, those beauties are a sight to gladden an old man’s heart.
5
It’s an animated series called Santa Inc starring that unfunny knob end Seth Rogan.
It has a record low rating of 3 percent on IMDb and everyone hates it.
Seth Rogan is a colossal cunt by the way…
4
That’s it, but I think Hbo ran some kind of advert for it.
I think the rating on IMDB is 1.1/10 now, making it the worst rating of all on there I believe.
Rogen is blaming the criticism on “white supremacists piling in to vote’.
Thing is, he and the other cunt responsible for this shite, that unfunny Silvermann tart, are both 4 be twos. This won’t send me down the rabbit hole (although I think asking four be twos to take the piss out of a Christian festival is wrong. Imagine 2 Christians running an anti front wheel show in Israel at Hanukkah, being very abusive towards towards the j boys?)
No Rogen. It’s you that’s the racist cunt here. And fortunately, nobody is having any of it and this could be your career over. Good. He and that tart should not be allowed on mainstream TV after this. It’s actually quite dangerous to white people this kind of shit.
And if enough go down that rabbit hole I mentioned, then we’ll see the return of an Adolf or two, the stupid cunts.
3
The cunts have started putting bleks and various greasy shifty Syrian looking types in Christmas jumpers.
It’s enough to put me off my whiskey.
Or maybe not.
Adverts are shite and Christmas ads are guaranteed to give the 3 Wise Men dysentery.
12
I’m surprised that they haven’t done one of Santa arriving in a dinghy yet.
10
Don’t be giving Channel 4 any ideas Ron
8
Real Christmas advert.
Single white mum to a half Africa kid struggling to top up the electric meter on Christmas eve.
No gifts from Mr absent father, no family gathered around, no way out from her self imposed situation.
Once you go black you end up a single white mum….
Scherderfrude Merry xmas fellow cunters
17
It would be a terminally stupid white man, who took on some slapper with “braaaaahn baybee’s”😂
3
I once worked with a ‘mudshark’. Nice enough girl. Great body with blonde hair. Fizzog a bit off, but she could have her pick really.
But she only went for the dark keys.
After leaving that job and the area, I don’t see her for about 15 years. When I bumped into her on a night out after visiting a few old mates for a piss up, I found out she was now a single mum with 3 (yes 3!) kids to different black men who’d all fucked off. When she said ‘Typical men. Once pregnant they don’t want to know’ I did smile to myself. I was dying to say, ‘You were damaged goods to me, but you should’ve got yourself a honky man!’ I knew they were dark key dads because she showed me photos on her phone of her kids.
There should be education in schools about dark key dad’s fucking off. You know, some real facts for our kids to think about.
7
probably been done before on the bestest of sites that is ISAC.com
“Im dreaming of a White Christmas
Just like the one i used to know”
6
Can you still say ‘white Christmas’?
Isn’t that offensive to POCs and Muslims?
8
but Bing Crosby was only dreaming of White Christmas Ron, heavens forbid if he wanted to fulfil those ambitions. Hopefully we will be allowed that pleasure in the not to distant future of shit
3
I knew the Christmas experience had taken a turn for the worse when the John Lewis ads became a ‘thing’. Chavs and retarded mongoloids waiting with bated breath for the festive offerings of a retailer that they would never dream of purchasing from. Cooing over some fucking teddy bear or fucking snow man. Must watch TV for the hard of thinking.
It’s all a far cry from the old Woolworths ads of the seventies, with the likes of Roy Castle etc. Who do we get nowadays? Joe Fucking Swash. Spazmo extraordinaire.
Merry cunt ridden Christmas!
9
I avoid them.All crap
6
I find most ads irritating beyond believe, especially one for charities, but that one for the Savation Army is so annoying. It features some old trout who also totters on screen in the PDSA ads, elderly dog in tow.
Christmas ads are puerile and unnecessary. We will spend what we want where we want, an ad for anything is unlikely to persuade me to purchase.
6
I’m still waiting to see something that ressembles a christmas ad, maybe featuring, yes! I know it’s an ask, Father Christmas, with snow, reindeers, all the chrismassy cute stuff to spread the festive feeling, even a nativity scene would nice, but no we get these shite strange things pushing black fucking people in every fucking scenario going, totally butt shagging every tradition of christmas out the window. Well marketing knobs, my view on any company or product doing this is “I’m an honkey, so cannot relate to your shit ideas, and won’t be buying, so fuck off!” Just remember when all tradition as been scrapped what the hell will you have left you cunts, Bliks, shirtlifters, peacefuls and softy, sick, woke don’t represent anything of value, and just create vomit enducing resentment. Enjoy bankrupting the woke clients you represent, I know I will…..
By the way Santas white, because he’s from lapland and black pete clears the chimneys, so gets black soot on him, neither are racist you twisted bastards, “MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS YOU TWATS!”
4
Although not strictly Christmas ads but I have to laugh at all the skincare and hair products that convey the image that if one used them one would be instantly transformed into the impossibly beautiful person featured in the ad.
“Because you’re worth it “ my knob!
Do the 24 stone pie-munching tattooed lard-arses that frequent Wigan market aka The Galleries actually believe this shit ?
2
Am I the only cunter to have seen the twerking puppy advert? Teach your 5 year old to shake her booty! Like Dougal in father Ted I do get mixed up with dreams and reality, but pretty sure this is real.
1
It did happen! Look up Booty shakin pug. Perhaps I am wrong and kids waving their arses at the camera does not attract the wrong sorts. Wonder what transexual mob make of this sort of thing, if you are born gay or the wrong gender, what’s the difference for those born perves?
1
well it was compulsory at school when i was a kid, not catholic but anglican CofE, carol singing, harvest festival and all that jazz…now its bowing down in the school flower beds and little cunts called poojar wailing and fasting …not the same fun as being an angel or a shepherd in the nativity play with nan and grandad watching
2