White Van Man Going Woke


GENERAL NOTE TO ALL: It’s becoming a too frequent event for cunters to post “O/T” comments and thus start a new thread within an existing nomination. Let’s keep the comments ON topic out of respect for the nominator and the admins who write up, schedule and publish this stuff. If there’s some other topic that’s grinding your gears, head on over to the Nominations page and do your worst there. Thanking you – NA.

White van man, the men who keep Britain running are in need of a 21st century overhaul from the outdated cliches of years gone by according to truck manufacturer Isuzu UK who commissioned the study of 1000 white van-driving tradesmen.

Gone are the stereotypes of discarded cigarette butts, crisp packets and empty cans of fizzy drinks littering the cab, ‘clean me’ written on the exterior and some hardcore pornography on the dashboard. Today its more about salads than pies, recycling, yoga, herbal tea and a skincare routine. And don’t even think about wolf-whistling at some random bit of fanny on the street.

They are probably still far-right racist Little Englanders according to sneering Labour cunt Emily Thornpiggy, but she needs to keep them onside for when she blocks the U-bend and needs an emergency plumber.

What say you, Miserable Northern Cunt?

He’s busy exfoliating listening to whale music.

Eurekar.

Nominated by : Liberal Liquidator

Harry Hewitt [24]


Let’s hear it again for entitled manchild Harry who has jetted into Britain yet again to top up his piggy bank in the courts, as he still feels offended and put upon. The money grubbing Joe Ronce seems to forget his reason for leaving the Royal Family was because he wanted to be an ordinary citizen, to prove the point he even moved to America with the old trout he was daft enough to get married to.

One of the advantages of being an “ordinary citizen” is that we don’t get protection – and if you live in London perhaps you should, but he is away in Fairyland, hob-nobbing with “celebrities” and TV and brooding on how hard done by he has been. The perpetual victim. he is a trouble-making, self pitying little bastard, just like his late mum, Gawd rest her soul:

The Stun.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

Delivery Drones


Inspired by Miserable Northern Cunts comment about seeing a delivery robot in Altrincham recently, I decided to have a little wander around the t’interweb to see what was what.

I came across this.

About Amazon.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I can see all kinds of problems here. I’m not very tech savvy, but couldn’t some computer freak devise a program that could divert the drone?

What if it smashes into a newly build loft extension that isn’t on Google maps yet?

How about if the motor fails, and it drops on some poor twats head?

I suppose, if you lived somewhere really remote and needed emergency supplies/medication, this method of delivery could be a lifesaver.

I could think of endless scenarios, that don’t end well, as I’m sure you lot could, but fgs, is this really progress or just showing off?

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Mykhailo Viktorovych Polyakov


“American”, Mykhailo Viktorovych Polyakov is a cunt for travelling to an island of some of the luckiest people in the world, living quite happily the good olde fashioned way, oblivious to the wonders of modern technology and Coca Cola and even more of a cunt for managing to leave without becoming their next dinner.

Mr Polyakov decided not only travelling to the clearly off limits Sentinel island was a good idea he appointed himself ambassador of one of the most famous exports of his tariff loving country and left a can of diet coke as a leaving present for the locals.

Personally I would ban all Americans from travel, they just can’t help themselves, let them develop a bit of actual culture before letting em out to try and force it upon people.

Grauniad.

Nominated by : Cunt of the Isles