War correspondents deserve the biggist cunting ever!

Firstly when the shit is really flying they are not there Then when it stops they turn up and pretend its still going on and are in mortal danger. Should anything happen whilst they are there they are more than happy to film you as you writhe in agony instead of doing the decent thing and dragging you away from the cause of the problem.

And lastly, most importantly they ask stupid fucking questions! Whilst working abroad wearing a uniform and carrying an assault rifle one dumb fuck walked up to me and said “What are you doing here?” Classic!

Nominated by: Lord Benny

People who moan about the warm weather are cunts…. All I have seen on the telly and in the papers is whinging about 30 degree heat and the ‘chaos’ it causes… What a load of knackers..

I remember 1976 and it was fucking fantastic… There was no moaning then and it was much hotter… In those days people just got on with it… Now there’s soft bastards all over the place… Just goes to show how mardy Britain has become… But when it goes back to shitty weather we usually get in Blighty these same cunts will complain that we don’t get enough warm weather…

And remember: in this hot weather, never leave a dog in a car… Unless it is Katie Price….

Nominated by: Norman

I’d like to formally cunt “People Persons”. You know the type. “Hey, I consider myself a real PEOPLE person!” Yeah. Right.

These awful cunts are usually found attempting to edge their way up the corporate/ religious/ charidee/ political ladder whilst genuinely believing themselves to be inspirational and motivating types who brighten the lives of lesser individuals. Often seen herding their reluctant office underlings into the paintball area of your local wood/swamp/marsh for some “Team Building” (Eurgh!!) or leading a bunch of naïve inexperienced adventurer types into the mountains for a (hopefully) doomed sleepover at Camp Hypothermia. And he’ll have a secondhand guitar which will be twanged tunelessly around the campfire while he urges his freezing companions to sing along about their “ging gang fucking goolies” or suchlike.

Invariably obsessed with slogans such as “wake up and smell the coffee”, “there’s no “I” in “Team”, “get with the program” and the perennial 80’s cunt catchphrase “go for it!” (AAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!) this turd in vaguely human form considers himself/herself a charismatic natural leader of men when actually they are a grating, obnoxious pain in everyone around them’s arse. Tragically they are also often utterly well intentioned into the bargain with the result that their kind hearted colleagues and friends (if they’ve got any) can’t bring themselves to bring them down to earth by informing them that they actually possess less charisma than a half empty tube of Anusol abandoned in a bedsit bathroom cabinet. In Wales.

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

…and here’s a little musical take on the problem as well..

The SNP are cunts. Financially illiterate cunts. Scotland cannot stand on its own feet without Englands subsidies.

The UK works (just) and has influence (not so much these days) because of what the ‘U’ in UK stands for you stupid bagpipe fondlers. Undo that and you’ll be back in the days of Robert ‘Spider botherer’ Bruce, living in mud huts and foraging for haggis. Fucking idiots.

SNP = Simply No Point …

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Whilst it was I suppose inevitable that the child beauty pageant shite managed to invade the UK, this latest fad by what I can only assume are retarded women who have never grown out of their own childhood and to whom, a child is merely a doll substitute. ‘Blinging up Baby’ brings TV to a new low.

Having watched a series of these morons bleating about how they would starve to afford little Milan ( who the fuck calls their child Milan?) to possess that latest Gucci bag ( a 9 month old ), to the unemployed single mother, who spends half her bloody dole money to dress her kid up in designer clothes. I truly wonder at the level of stupidity.

One gem was in hearing how they really wanted to groom their kids for exposure on social media. Guess what girls, so do all the bloody paedos on the internet!

Witless bitches.

Nominated by: Lez