War correspondents

Arabian Knights - Troops from A Company 1st Battalion The Yorkshire Regiment (1 YORKS) serving on operations in Baghdad

War correspondents deserve the biggist cunting ever!

Firstly when the shit is really flying they are not there Then when it stops they turn up and pretend its still going on and are in mortal danger. Should anything happen whilst they are there they are more than happy to film you as you writhe in agony instead of doing the decent thing and dragging you away from the cause of the problem.

And lastly, most importantly they ask stupid fucking questions! Whilst working abroad wearing a uniform and carrying an assault rifle one dumb fuck walked up to me and said “What are you doing here?” Classic!

Nominated by: Lord Benny

14 thoughts on “War correspondents

  1. On my last tour in Afghanistan, I had an Australian reporter ask me if I was enjoying my stay. We’d just come back from a patrol in which we’d had contact with the Taliban. Anyone care to guess what my response was?

  2. The best war correspondents are the self employed independent freelance photographers. With limited finances, they get to war zones flying economy class bucket airlines. Travel on local clapped out bus transport and stay in guest house fleapits. They make their money selling photos to the media for a pittance. They do it in the hope of being in the right place at the right time to witness and photograph those unique “jackpot” and “exclusive” images that will make the front page and inside page “specials” of the newspapers. They have also written the story article “scoop” that accompany their published exclusive photos.

    Contrast this with paid BBC, ITV, Sky or Channel4 war correspondents. They are given generous expense accounts and salaries. They get to war zones flying business class. When they get there, book into their 5 star hotel. Phone the local UK Embassy or Consulate to get the “official” news and situation from a Vice Consul “in the know”, (if there is no UK Embassies, then the nearest American or French one will do). Write their scripts, based on the Consul’s info, for the later news programs back home. Then meet up with local researchers, camera people and minders. Get in a taxi and go meet the local people on the streets protesting in the town square. Desperately find any native that speaks English to interview them for the scheduled satellite live feed on the 6 ‘O Clock news back home.

    • actualy I would differ on that one, they turn up take a few pictures and then write a book and in some cases suffer from delusions of grandure, allow me to introduce gaston besson “Nasty Gasty” from Photo Repoter to leader of international forces BiH (in his head) Currently “Political officer” AZOV battallion Ukraine with a price on his head from Putin (who is allso a cunt) so I would differ on the photo tourists too.

      • As with any group of people we shouldn’t tar them all with the same brush. There are the minimum good war correspondents and the majority bad war correspondents. Nasty Gasty is clearly one of the latter baddie cunts.

      • We locked martin bell in a warrior in gulf war 1 , when we met up in jugo he had some very srange ideas about our terms of endearment for the co. He seemed to think we liked him and was rather suprised when “wanker” sprang from my lips, weird thing is having inadvertently married into a family of rodneys it was confirmed by two full colonel’s that the guy was a knob too, so next up if alowed would be colonel author denaro !

    • Still going, aged 69.
      Retired from the BBC in 2003 and now writes books – 5 to date. Far as I can see, all boring.
      Still appears periodically on Radio 4 and reports regularly for Radio New Zealand

  3. While I was at the MMU I met Donald McCullin… A misrerable bugger, but a superb war photographer…

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