The “moderators” of MSM online comments are cunts, especially the Daily Mail and Express. Most of the comments contribute fuck-all or are factually wrong and get waved thru. If you go to the trouble of adding a reply/correction –

short intermission whilst I cunt that fat opera singer cunt for Go Compare who’s just appeared on the shit-box
– end of intermission –

and go to the trouble of including some links to show the facts you invariably get a “thanks for your comment – it is under review” and you never see the comment again. The Mail and Express did this to me earlier so I posted DM/DE ISAC and they appeared straight away – obviously the cunts have no sense of irony.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge-Frottom

That large red object there is known as ‘The scum shovel’ for obvious reasons.

The cunts that boil my piss are the arseholes that get to the tube barrier and then dig about in the bottom of their handbag for their oyster card, only to find it needs topping up. The dozy fuckers then try said oyster card half a dozen times before giving up and trotting off to the ticket machine to recharge it, creating a massive queue behind them that they have to wade back through. If half a dozen of these fucking imbeciles do this almost simultaneously at a busy station it becomes the perfect storm of fucktardedness.

Don’t even start me on fucking tourists who try and stick their oyster card into the paper ticket slot, causing the same kind of mayhem behind them previously only seen on the beaches of Dunkirk 80 years ago.
When the stupid twats finally figure it out they then stand the other side of the barrier waiting for the rest of their party, creating a human obstacle that gathers in size with every passing second.

Oh, and tourists, don’t forget to stand on the left and the right of the escalators and never bring a suitcase smaller than the northern hemisphere onto the tube in rush hour for people to trip over.

Also, don’t forget to stop at the bottom of the escalator and look totally confused as to where your going next. The pile of human bodies that is backing up behind you will really appreciate this.

You fucking retards!

Nominated by: Odin’s Balls

Salads. They take ages to prepare, taste of nothing unless you smother them with salad cream and/or mayo and you invariably want a takeaway/equiv 1/2 hour later.

I was making a salad the other week and when I was cutting up some cheddar to pimp it a bastard fly distracted me and I nearly took my thumb off.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge-Frottom

Cunts who don’t or won’t speak English are cunts who deserve a good cunting. What the fuck is their problem?

I’m not just talking about immigrants to UK, I’m talking about every fucker on the planet. Get with the program you stupid wog fuckers, English is the world language. Its the most used language on the planet by a very long way and if you want to have a voice in the world you have to speak English.

Worst is Johnny Foreigner who refuses to speak English even when you know very well that they can, the cheese eating surrender monkeys are particularly guilty of this, the dagos are too.

Nominated by: Fat Rich

As a change from obnoxious celebrities, arrogant jobsworths and arsewipe politicians, I would hereby like to nominate Frogs for a cunting.

No, not the ones across the Channel with the onions, Citroens and irregular bathtimes, but the green, hopping, croaking, ribbiting amphibian variety of Frog. They are without doubt the stupidest creatures on the planet. Allow me to explain.

Taking advantage of the recent warm, dry weather, Mrs B and myself decided to go to town on our overgrown garden, transforming it from a scruffy unkempt damp wasteland into a neatly trimmed area of neat grass with neat borders and a neat pathway, all topped off with a nice big shed so that yours truly can sit and drink gallons of tea, listen to Led Zep and tinker with my ancient motorcycles. The many frogs that had been lurking in the foliage were expected to migrate happily into the garden next door which is a student rental property and therefore has a garden that resembles the inner recesses of the Amazon. Instead the dopey little cunts (frogs not students) took to retreating under my shed, emerging only to get beaten up by the dog, or subjected to Gestapo style torture sessions, courtesy of the cat, that would impress Heinrich Himmler.

One daft little bastard even leapt into the whirling blades of my strimmer and got diced. Being the sort of chap who genuinely hates harming small creatures, I naturally found this somewhat disturbing. Froggy paradise lays only a short hop through the small gap in the fence to next door but the idiotic creatures seem to prefer living in the Froggy equivalent of Pork Chop Hill or The Western Front, which makes them stupid cunts with minimal survival instincts apart from playing dead, which gets them murdered slowly and brutally by man’s best friend anyway. Stupid little fuckers!

Of course the French are indeed cunts, as are students. And the SNP….. and Russel Brand…. and Piers Morgan… etc etc

Nominated by: Mr Bastard