One million – One fucking million – Third World savages salivating in Calais, and cunts are gonna vote Remain?!

Are they proper fucking retarded mongs or what?

Nominated by: Norman

A couple of weeks back I was in the morning commute. I could see the dopey young arsehole behind me getting too close which was fucking annoying. It was like towing a trailer with a disabled chimp on it. Then we came to the congestion and it was stop start for a bit. As soon as we slowed down, I could see him in my mirror looking down at his phone. Cunt I thought, he had better look forward because it’s Monday morning and I am not in the mood for a bump.

Obviously he gets so engrossed in twatbook or whatever that he crashes right into the back of my cunting car. I get out and give this poor young tit such grief I thought he was going to piss himself and cry. And I’m now late for work too, the cunt.

Cozzers turn up, don’t give a fuck even when I tell them the pillock was on the phone. Cunts. So after three weeks of fannying around I get my car back. Did I say cunts?

Anyway, tonight I’m in a good mood, it’s Friday, no work til Monday, is a cunt is back online and everything is going well. Until I get a text from my wife. “Been in an accident, I’m ok but the car is fucked.” I then have to traipse down the bastard M4 to pick my wife up and see our beloved car which some young guy had rear ended.

As soon as traffic slows down, wankers think they can use the time to check their phones. And the law don’t give a monkeys!

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

Apparently, nothing newsworthy has happened today, apart from a team that has been at the very top of the league winning the title. Who couldn’t see that coming? I turned on Sky News this morning, and I thought the Messiah had returned to Earth. There were people cheering and getting hysterical. I turned BBC News on, same fucking thing. Apparently, it’s historic. Turns out that Leicester had won the title. Like I said, who couldn’t see that coming?

I’ve nothing against Leicester winning the title. It’s been a long time since I supported football, so it’s completely irrelevant to me. But we’re now going to have a year of that already insufferable cunt, Lineker, being even more insufferable. We’ve already had a week of Hillsborough being the only thing happened.

Now it’s Euro 2016 and more weeks of football related bullshit.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Overrated….full of that shower of self regarding right on wankers who everyone was expected to admire and fall about laughing at.

I didn’t then and, watching the re-runs now, I was right not too. Absolute shite.
at least they’ve started dying off. Proper punishment, I say,

Woof.

Nominated by: Dan

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

So Rowling is getting short of a few bob and needs to inflict her Potter twat on the London stage.

Fair enough. I won’t be going to see it – but can anyone explain to me why the fuck the new Hermione has to be black?

Nominated by: Dioclese