TV commisioning editors are supposedly looking for more edgy programming and apparently welcome submissions.
Although still no reply to my soap opera blueprint…..

“The Reich Stuff”……the trials and tribulations of a family, running a Nazi gift shop in Golders Green High Street….

Nominated by: J R Cuntley

I would like to cunt migrants and rapefugees that try to garner universal support and sympathy by doing a V sign with fingers whenever they see a fucking camera.

They don’t have any idea what it means.
Same as Chinese selfie tourists.
Churchill started it as a victory sign.
Fair enough.
Was an inspiration back then.

These cunts don’t speak English though, so the word victory is pointless to them.

Then Lennon hijacked it to mean peace.
Now every free loader world over will use it liberally, sticking it in front of every lense to show they are peaceful.
And to grab what they can.

Trouble is, the peaceful ones who are obsessed with it are Muslims and far from fucking peaceful and actually want us dead.

How ironic.

Nominated by: Lord Ferrigno

I would like to nominate plate robbers for a cunting.

My girlfriend has a very annoying habit, We will go out for a meal and she will pick at my plate.

Now to clarify the situation, when I offer the menu and say “have what you like” I meen it, you are not restricted in price or volume as to what you may consume, However in return for this act of kindness by myself I expect my own food to go un molested.

I think that this is a fair arrangement, the fact that we occasionally exchange bodily fluids does not give you the right to nick my mushrooms (whilst saying” I really like mushrooms”) because these very same mushrooms were advertised on the menu that I provided you with earlier and said “have what you like”!

I order food that I like so that I may consume it, I in courage you to do the same and not stray on to my plate.

However, I do find this cunting rather difficult to pen due to my relationship with the culprit, but it’s a very annoying habit, please desist.

Nominated by: Lord Benny

I would like to nominate bus passengers as a bunch of inconsiderate cunts.

I get a bus daily, to help the environment but mainly because I like a drink after work. If the bus is busy, what do these twats do? Sit in the aisle seat with no intention of moving over so you have to ask them to move. If you can see it’s getting full, fucking move over, pricks. And take your massive fucking handbags off the seat next to you, you’ve paid for one seat, not both.

And if you’re an old fucker and turn up at the bus stop just before it arrives, if I’ve been waiting 10 minutes in the pissing cold and rain, I’m getting on first, so stick your misguided entitlement up your cunt, cunts.

And don’t get me started on the twats who put their feet on the seats, someone should take a shoe covered in dog shite and rub it in their fucking faces.

Nominated by: TheBournemouthRed