Congratulations to Proper Cunt who correctly predicted that Stephen ‘Davros’ Hawking was the next celeb to kick the bucket (not literally obviously)!

Seems that the author of the world’s most boring book will write no more, so it’s not all bad news. Dioclese nominated him for years before changing horses. No staying power that bloke!

So we move on to Dead Pool 87.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one)
1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck

I could never understand why it costs many millions to repair the reported potholes (6312) of Surrey for example. Or indeed billions nationally. I have repaired potholes at the end of my driveway where it joins the main road. You buy a bag of tarmac, you dig out the loose stones and dirt from the hole till it’s nice and clean and solid, throw in the tarmac and voila!, it’s good for 4 to 5 years for 3 quid plus my time (1 hour) .

That doesn’t cost millions does it? I was watching a news program on TV showing councils repairing potholes. They had a road gang with 3 to 5 massive machines, stripped the entire road surface for a hundred yards and replaced the entire road. Quoted cost? 200k.

Ah! I then saw why this is a billion pound problem. Replace 100% of the surface for a 1% problem or else the potholes might come back. This has the benefit of using up any spare council slush money swilling about before the end of the budget cycle. Have you noticed the increase in road repair activity in February and March. So the sad state of the roads is a political Aunt Sally to maintain council budgets, and ‘relationships’ with the construction industry.

Pothole repair is rubbished by these experts as it doesn’t last as long as proper resurfacing. But if your planned resurfacing is way longer than the lifetime of our pothole repair then you are full of shit.

The good thing about potholes though, is that lots of cyclists in Lycra get their bollocks crushed every year.

Nominated by Mrs B, Essex

What a fucking waste of time homeschooling is, turning out antisocial fuckwits on society who can barely do their ABC’s

My friend’s retarded, welfare sucking daughter, who’s as dim as a Toc H lamp, is allowed to home school her two simian kids.(Of course the father plays the lead role in “The Fugitive”)

The kids, who are terminally fucking stupid and can’t count past two, have been taught every trick in the book… how to get free food from the foodbank, how to suck churches into giving them free holidays, how to get medical marijuana, how to maximize your welfare handout, where to get Christmas handouts. I could make a list as long as anyone wants it to be as long as they don’t want the ability to read,write, add or look after personal hygiene to be among the items.

As soon as they leave school they’ll be rejects because they don’t know how to interact with other humans, having spent most of their lives in a trailer watching fucking rugmuncher “Ellen” or Dr Fucking Eggshell Blond Phil.

I don’t know how it is in other parts of the world but we spend a shitload of money here in Vancouver on this sewage disposal of a program…. and it turns out social morons like a conveyor belt

Send them to “soft school” like they did when I was a kid, or force the fucking idiot parents to be educated themselves

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

Cunting for leaf blowers and any fucking shitcunt that uses one.

Cunts start the fuckers up at stoopid o clock and proceed to blow leaves and dust from their fucking gardens and driveways out onto the street only for mother nature to blow the same fucking leaves and dust straight back as soon as said cunt with leaf blower turns his fucking back. But thats ok cos the cunts back at the same place and same fucking time a week later to go through the same fucking useless objective all over again.

Get a fucking rake you cunts, rake the fucking shit into a pile put the fucking shit into a bin bag and leave it for the fucking green recycling cunt to take away you fucking lazy bastards.

And the swish of a rake sounds lovely on a still autumn day.

Nominated by flexicunt

I cant believe I’m actually writing this, but yesterday I had the misfortune of trying to keep up with what’s going on in this cunty world in the firm knowledge that something or other would make my piss boil. Maybe Junker the Drunker waddling about like the EU’s version of Sepp Blatter taking the cut out of everyone? No! It wasn’t that. Maybe Barnier looking about Downing Street like some elitist cunt being showed where Fagan once lived? No! It wasn’t that. Soros pumping half a fucking million into reversing the most attended democratic fucking vote this country has ever seen ( sorry Fred West )? NO!!

It that the fucking libtard snowflake cunts are boycotting Peter ” trap me / choke me / skin me / roast me / enjoy me whilst camping …Peter fucking Rabbit “… because it promotes…wait for it….. ” Food intolerance bullying ”

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!! The wee imaginary talking rabbit whom we see most days in 2D form on our national roadways looking like some posh cunts miniature bear rug spread out before our eyes as we thump over it at 60mph…flings some blueberries at some other pixelated cunt on screen that doesn’t like blueberries……… and off goes twitter in a fucking apoplectic meltdown on food alergy oppression and bullying.

“My wee bairn has a food alergy….. we will boycott this until Disney apologises”

Fuck me! I’m a Scot and we have an intolerance to almost anything you can call food!
If some cunt threw rice at a Scottish Wedding we’d all come out in fucking hives and rashes, rolling about the floor dousing ourselves in whisky and Irn Bru! So fuck off you snowflake, neo liberal, inferiority complex suffering fucks.

Cunts pure and simple

If I get 6 months to live from a doctor then unfortunately there is also others with that diagnosis because I’m going postal.

If we tolerate this then I’m afraid its not our children next, we’re next, its accelerating at an unstoppable rate

Nominated by Squint Cuntwood