Nightclubs.

I’m not sure how many esteemed fellow cunters used to/currently go to Nightclubs on a regular basis, but I would imagine all of us at one time can recall just how fucking shite they were, and indeed still are by all accounts. My raving days encompassed the mid-90s to the 00s; The last time I ever set foot in one of these rotten fucking meat-markets was January 2009. Thank fuck. You are basically sold the premise of some drug-fuelled, lust-utopia fuckfest out of a Lars Von Trier film. The harsh reality is far, far less fucking appetising.

In modern times, you basically pay between £10 and £20 to enter some flea-ridden, barely-lit, unwanted piece of commerical real estate under a fucking bridge or something. You proceed to get treated like utter fucking shite from start to finish by everyone from the cloak-room cunt to the barstaff to the big bolshy shitcunt bouncers. You then pay a fucking premium on lukewarm Coronas, and settle in to watch a handful of people pull amongst the sweating, heaving dancefloor, under the illusion that you are somehow missing out.

Meanwhile, the half-cast Asian on the wheels of steel spins out yet another biscuit-tin beat shit-cut at tinitis-inducing overpowering volume, and you begin to wonder why the fuck you do this to yourself week in and week out, as your innards pulse the half-digested korma and bottled piss-lager down your intestinal tract thanks to the ground-shaking fucking bass.

Piss-soaked carpets of stairs between levels are festooned with cunts out of their skull, probably driven in equal parts by peer pressure and a subliminal desperation to escape the fucking nightmare of the nightclub experience, and fat slags squeezed into ill-fitting Primark one-pieces cackle otherworldly on their office night out.

The mercy of closing time finally arrives, and the harsh lights reveal just how fucking disgusting everything is, with everyone herded out like fucking lobotomy outpatients and sent off into the freezing cold to negotiate the fallen scumcunts on the pavement, and the legion of unlicensed, non-English speaking shades of excrement hollering at you “you vant taxi take taxi please”.

Nightclubs were always fucking shite, and I’m frankly delighted that I don’t need to pretend that I love going to them anymore. They are closing <i>en masse</i> these days, due to less interest from millenials who prefer to take photos of themselves all night. Well, just like even human shite has a useful by-product as fertiliser, so too apparently do millenial anti-social tendencies – fuck the nightclubs and everything about them. Each and every one of them can go bust as far as I’m concerned.

Nominated by. The Empire Cunts Back.

Quora: The site that has the answers to everything fucking retarded.

With tens millions of repetitive emotional squirter’s and their questions about gun laws, white guilt, privilege, and racism that literally sucks the will to live right out of any intelligent person’s soul.

“If I collected five black friends and two of them turned out to be white (something that actually happens in America) and one of them was an “acting white” and the other two weren’t actually born on the African continent but were born in Walla Walla Washington – Should I still feel white guilt over something that happened over 150 fucking years ago?”

My answer: Just suck their dicks snowflake and get on with life.

“Who’s adopted (purchased) more black children Madonna or Sandra Bullock?” (Bullock who has two black children and uses them as bookends)

My answer: Jesus H Christ blacks aren’t collectible items you fucking bowls of vaginal discharge!

Quora: The place where pretentious narcissistic societal hanger-ons go to dress up their meaningless existences and literally waste every free second that they have in echo chambers of their own opinions. And then ask,

(real questions)
“Why am I stupid?”

“What does it feel like to be stupid?”

I don’t know you tell me.

Quora: The poster site for stupid cunts who love to hear themselves talk. (and everyone else wants to get away from at parties)

Nominated by BluntCunt

Yes, it’s marathon day. Cunts in costumes running 26 miles on the road to nowhere.

Thousands of the cunts. Endless tedious BBC coverage with cunts spouting bollocks. The Beckham’s spawn has run it. Paula Radcliffe has won it. Prince Harry says it’s wonderful so it must be a cuntfest.

And it’s all in the name of charity – or money for feckless cunts and scroungers. The odd worthy cause maybe but mainly people doing it to make themselves look good.

Marathon? Cuntathon more like.

Apparently it’s going to be scorchio. Hope the cunts boil.

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt

I would like to nominate Netflix and whoever the virtue signalling box ticking cunts are that have done the remake series of ‘Lost in Space’. Just read the first review (it aired yesterday) and apparently it’s the woman of the family now who has the brains and is the driving force.The older kid is now tinted(of course) even though mom and dad are white,she was born before dad came along,we are told conveniently.And finally the pesky Dr. the stowaway who tries to sabotage everything every week has now changed sex and is a woman.Just surprised they didn’t go the whole nine yards and have Robbie the robot mincing around in a pinny going” ooooh look at the muck in ‘ere”. Just more PC bollux.

nominated by. Fillipo

I am going to mega cunt Lloyds TSB!

Why? Perhaps I am not being rational here but my reasons are as follows :

1, Internet banking – well apparently my nice secure password Fucku2 was unacceptable

2, On separation from Mrs Benny MKII they swore that neither of us could independently remove themselves from the joint account, Well not so as it panned out, sitting in a restaurant trying to impress future MRS Benny (MkIII), I have my card declined and a swaith of threatening letters about an overdraft on an account that I now seem to be solely responsible for (and they have emptied my current account to fill the hole caused by the myriad of direct debits that have fuck all to do with me)

3, After that abortion the over generous over draft, I shit you not I have an overdraft! I can go over by £200 pm if I want and then the magic card stops working only on this occasion my un agreed overdraft stopped the card at £1000 and they fucking charged me bank charges on that!

4, Well today was the final straw I phoned the telephone banking system that to say the least is arse at the best of time and the fucks have deleted my pass code (which is numeric and not rude) I can not fucking believe the incompetence of the fuckers.
All this coupled with such a shit interest rate have made me decide that the black horse can fuck right off.

What a bunch of cunts!!!!

Nominated by a very pissed off Lord Benny