The world health organisation – capitals omitted on purpose!

Looks like for periods of my life I have been disabled, I need to see if I am due any unpaid benefits for this unfortunate disability. Not only do those amongst who fire blanks now class as disabled but those who go through a dry spell are also due a hefty benefits payment.

Does a rapist now class as a cure for disability, how fucking crazy do things have to get?

“Until now, infertility – the failure to achieve pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sex – was not considered a disability.

But now in dramatic move the World Health Organisation will change the standard to suggest that a person who is unable to find a suitable sexual partner or is lacking a sexual relationship to have children – will now be equally classified as disabled.”

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit

Having been made redundant, rang these tossers to ensure that my stamp is paid (for once something for nothing). Guess how long I’ve got to wait for an appointment? 10 fucking days, Jesus on a fucking Harley. Whatever happened to rock up sign up fuck off? 10 days probably dreaming up excuses or variations of saying no.

I suppose the druggies pill heads single mothers gimmegrants et all will be accomodated. One stumbling block I encountered early on nationality? Why English of course, you cant be that you’re British,hang on born in England ergo English. When did I become a stranger in my own land? Was it that cocksniff Antony Bliar and his cunting minions mayhap?

So anyhow, how much money I have in the bank is of no concern to you cunts, it’s taxed income so fuck off. Pay my stamp and anything else I’m entitled to. Knowing that the feckless get looked after I’ll be lucky to get 2/10ths of 5/8 ths of the square root of fuck all.

Epic motherfuckers and piss boilers bastards to a man or woman, knowing my luck it’ll be fucking ugly as well if it’s supposedly female.

Why the fuck do they want my passport, birth certificate, utility bill, council tax bill. Do they not appreciate CuntyMort is paying a state visit/ fact finding tour.

Don’t be surprised if I end up getting ejected from the premises after being verbally abusing the staff.

Fuck them all bar one, fuck that one twice

At this rate I can see me giving them an imperial fuck off and telling them my arse is now retired

Nominated by CuntyMort

Outside broadcasts at parliament need a nomination.

A sea of EU flags (outside of the UK parliament buildings) and that same tiresome cunt shouting out ‘stop Brexit’ like he’s done for about the past three years. I think he has been nominated, but can’t remember his name.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

That was quick Steve Bray welsh cunt

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Bray_(activist)

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any offence caused by this Welsh themed joke….and suggest you fuck off, you miserable cunt.

‘Comic Omid Djalili has upset some social media users in Wales with a joke about the Welsh language.

The comedian posted a picture of a road sign for Nantgaredig and the National Botanic Gardens of Wales, bearing the translation Gardd Fotaneg Genedlaethol.

Next to that the 53-year-old Londoner tweeted: “There are worse things than being Welsh, dyslexic & having a terrible stutter. But not many.”

The gag sparked a flurry of angry responses.

Marc Jones wrote: “Disappointing that someone with Iranian heritage reckons it’s OK to have a pop at a minority culture.”

There is a vein of these thick po faced cunts running through Welsh society. Usually they are Plaid Cymru cunts. They were around in my youth when we used to take the piss out of the earnest twats. The clue is in the way this Jones cunt spells his Christian name. Why not Ioans for his surname I wonder?
The English were ‘stealing all our water’ Perhaps the daftest claim even these cunts could come up with.
This is not a bad joke as modern jokes go and all proper Taffies will find it funny.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Dropped my daughter off at the local airport the other day, parked up, got out, got her suitcase out, said goodbye, got back in and drove off. About two minutes, tops. Cost me a fucking quid! You fucking robbing cunts. You charge for a fucking trolley to carry your bags on, you charge a bastard fortune for your long/short-term parking and you have that fucking gall to charge people for stopping for two minutes to drop someone off? Jesus-H-Christ!!!! What next? A charge for walking through the fucking doors? I’d like to have the cunt that come up with this money-making scam in the back of my ambulance. ‘Pain relief’? ‘Yeah – a Paracetamol’ll cost you a quid, you thieving cunt’.

Nominated by DCI Gene Cunt