Vegan Burgers

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Vegan burgers ?..
What sort of bearded cunt would eat a vegan burger? Something that tastes of fucking plants?
Probably the spotty beardy daft cunt that likes soya fucking milk. I hope they all die from lack of proper food. Burgers are the lowest form of food available, but made of no meat?.. what the fuck are these people thinking of?

Nominated by Jimmy the Spaz

48 thoughts on “Vegan Burgers”

    • Jimmy burgers are great! Lowest form my arse! Chargrilled beef,fried onions,
      Ketchup! Yumyum…
      Never had a vegan burger,(never will)
      Assume they taste of smugness and soil?
      But dont ‘diss’ the humble beefburger mate, theyre like innocent little tasty bastards whove hurt no one.

      • I’m carnivore, can’t eat enough meat. Her indoors won’t eat ”mystery meat” so she necks these, I prefer meat nut these are decent.

      • There is a George Michael in Hampstead Heath gents joke in there somewhere.

  2. A proper homemade Mexican beanburger is alright. I’d rather have a good beanburger than a bad low-grade beefburger.

  3. Vegan Burgers are another example of the cunt food I cunted a few months back. Soy boy food that tastes like The Flabbot’s sweaty g-string.

    No thank you 🤮

  4. Righteous plant-eaters cooking vegetable matter to look like meat?
    It fucking defies logic.
    If you’re a vegetarian, the last thing you’d want is your food to look like a burned carcass.
    It shares the same rationale as preparing a piece of beef to resemble a carrot, and if you did that you’d probably find yourself being detained under the 1983 Mental Health Act.

  5. I can still remember my grandfather telling me how he would chase after the rag and bone mans horse with a bucket to collect the horse shit which he’d throw on his rhubarb.
    However, this all changed when he discovered custard….

  7. Firstly I’d like to say that I agree, “vegan” what the fuck is vegan? and what kind of cunt actually finds the tantalising Daily menu of lettuce, tomato and fucking grains appetising…. tree hugging hippie cunts that’s who, cunts that think animals have rights, opinions and deserve to live a long drawn out life like the rest of us cunts. Sure some street shitting pets like “Rex the German Sheppard “ don’t deserve to be put on a dinner plate, well that’s the case in the western world, but all said and done most animals were put on this earth to be served up medium rare to well done. Then there’s the health issues associated with only eating slug food and dried fucking fruit and berries, that more than likely have been grown in some cunts shit in Peru, but NO, the cunts that eat under this banner of “I’m a fucking vegan” are oblivious to the malnutrition they are subjecting there bodies to……. Thinking about it fuck em let the hippee cunts starve, waist of good oxygen away. CUNTS
    o yeah I myself have a beard and by no means am I a fucking vegan.. cunt maybe

    • Im also a cunt with a beard, fuck, my beards massive a badger could hide in it! Proper lord of the rings/ game of thrones style fucker!
      But not a vegan or hipster by any stretch of the imagination!
      Ill eat any meat including panda, bushmeat, people lost in peak district,anything long as got gravy an spuds with it.

    • By “animals” I assume you mean those other than humans.

      Unless you’re a cannibal of course.

      • I’d say there are more than enough people on the streets whose only use on this planet would be as meat.

      • The Maori simply named human meat as ‘long pig’; much easier to add to the menu. Apparently tastes similar to pig as well; for first hand testimony get online to a German gay chat room.

  8. As one of my old mates said of them when tasting one, it’s some sort of ‘bean pulp’.

    Vegan BBQs are wanking with sandpaper and lemon juice when Susanna Reid is sat is a leather LBD legs akimbo and giving you her most coquettish smile.

  9. The wife said, “On our anniversary I want to go out for a meal somewhere really expensive.”
    So I took her to the Welcome Break services on the M25….

  10. Vegan burgers are up their alongside cauliflower steaks, a fucking cauliflower sliced is not a steak, it’s just cauliflower, and a burger with no meat in it is just bread and the accompaniments, I’d be asking where the fuck the meat patty is.

  11. I have never eaten anything advertised as vegan or vegetarian, except
    1. Nettle soup, by mistake, in Paris of all places. No stock, just nettles. Green dishwater.
    2. A vegan sausage, with the intention of giving it a try, what had I got to lose?
    This slightly crunchy cylindrical object could have been handcrafted from a box of Paxo Sage and Onion Stuffing, except that it tasted less strongly of sage and not at all of onion or anything else.
    I will leave vegan burgers to the imagination, thanks.

    • Nettles are good for you! Full of iron!
      And theyre free, missus n kids wont eat em in case a dogs pissed on em,
      But im not as fussy!
      Also eat wild garlic, plums, raspberries, greengages, medlars, apples, pears etc
      All picked while walking the dog.

      • Afternoon Miserable. What the hell are medlars? You don’t mean pedlars as in any strange salesmen who come your way?

      • Medlars are a old english fruit, nicknamed i kid you not ‘the dogs arse’ because its puckered like a well like a dogs arsehole. Make jam with em and a relish, tasty!!
        Fell out of favour over here because of the nickname i assume,, but big in medieval times.

      • Hi RTC, yeah family gets precious and all fussy about pissy nettles!
        Bunch of spoilt brats, “eat yer pissy nettles or no dogs arse fruit for pudding! 😜

      • Evening MNC.

        That fussy family of yours better get used to nettles and grass cos according to Bank of England governor Mark Cunty today there’ll be nothing else to eat after Brexit.

      • Evening mate, mr carney and the rest do like to try and scare the masses dont they?
        Thing is RTC , dont think as many are believing it anymore, and some dont care, if they breach democracy and overturn the vote no one will trust them again, and the polarized views will be nothing compared to the trouble that’ll come.

      • There will be an economic shock…interest rates…inflation…value of pound…etc, etc. Not a bit like the economic shock when all the banks went tits-up. Including his old employer, Goldman Sachs.The cure for that minor hiccup was to “invest in”* the Vampire Squid with $10Bn from the US Treasury in November 2008. Which was repaid by June 2009, so destitute was the Squid.

        Unfortunately neither Carney nor the cunt Osborne will be the next head of the IMF. I’m sure either of them would have presided smilingly over another total disaster, forcing an overdue rethink about globalism.

        *Lend, from imaginary funds.

      • No problem with nettles, mate. Just as good as spinach, and as you say, free. But this soup was garbage.

  12. Why substitute something you say you don’t need to eat?
    Love a good burger me. Posh gormet, homemade, maccy d’s, frozen, fresh. All comes out the same hole and the same colour.

  14. Vegan burgers? Frankly, I would rather eat the packet that they come in.

    I went through a phase when I was a late teen and went vegetarian, for all of five minutes, until I discovered that life was frankly not worth living without a bacon sandwich.

    I tried the Linda McCartney ready meals and bloody ‘Quorn’ which both tasted like they had evacuated from the rear end of an animal…..never again.

    As much as I am an animal lover, I just love bacon, sausages and a big, fuck off beef burger. Going vegan so you can’t have ANYTHING even remotely animal related would have me digging my own six-foot deep hole now and burying myself.

    CUNTERY.

  15. I don’t understand who would eat this shit. My niece is a vegan and sadly a snowflake. My partner cooked a lovely dinner when she came with my sister. He put butter in the mash as he forgot. To this day we have never told her. She couldn’t tell so what she does not know won’t hurt lol

  16. I know there are vegetarians on this wonderful site and I’m one of them and there could possibly even be a vegan or two. But unlike the feminazis, militant trans crowd, vegan extremists, or snowflake SJW’s in general, I tend to just eat what I feel is right for me but don’t lecture anyone on how they should live their lives, these fucking vegan extremist cunts need shooting then feeding to their prize pot bellied pig

  17. Is it possible to be Trans-Pennine ?
    Do Yorkies ever feel that they have been born in the wrong body, and go “all Bolton” ?
    Or vice-versa ?

    Such a brilliant stream of noms in last few days, struggling to keep up.
    So many cuuuuunts… It must be “glooooobal warming.”

  18. Seriously, I was a vegan for 3 years, vegetarian for about 7 before that. Reasons my own, won’t bore you (nor did I ever bore other people). Long enough to forget what real meat tasted like at any rate.

    However, for other reasons (won’t bore you) I have in recent months fallen spectacularly off that particular wagon…

    I’m now a born again ‘omnivore’ and all I can say is: it’s fucking brilliant…

    • What others eat isnt any business of mine, but we are by design omnivores.
      Our ancestors were omnivores, so to be healthy presume we should eat omnivorously!
      Meat fruit veg nuts and beer.
      Good enough for fur clad ancient miserable good enough for me!

  19. Plus, not all vegan food is a righteous as people think. For example, mass expansion of soya bean production isn’t good for the environment or wildlife. Or the air miles of transporting it all.

    I’ve come to believe the best way to eat is seasonal food as close to home as you can, whether it’s meat or veg.

    I also believe everyone should mind their own fucking business and leave others to get on with theirs…

    • Very true. I live in Scotland, it’s totally unsuitable to growing all the trendy fruits and veg the vegan climate fascists lecture us we should be eating but is most suitable for rearing animals.

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