Despicables
As we all know, there are plenty of oddballs out and about at the best of times. For instance there are the eccentrics; those who collect in-flight sick bags or navel hair (yes, really), or those who tattoo vehicles or delight in rolling mud into balls (yes, really). As I say, eccentric, and essentially harmless. Then there are those unfortunates, most of whom have mental health issues, who wander about muttering to themselves and swatting away imaginary flies, or stand in the middle of the road raging at the traffic. Sad and lonely individuals, but again, harmless for the most part.
Then there’s a whole other category of strange and sinister people, who seem to come crawling out from under their stones at times like these, seemingly intent on adding to anxiety and panic. I’ve taken to referring to these loathsome cunts as ‘the Despicables’.
There are a lot of these dregs about, and not just in our own fair land. Such as George Falcone, a New Jersey man charged with a terroristic act after intentionally coughing on a supermarket employee and telling her that he had Coronavirus. Or the two lunatics who drank from bottles in a Singapore supermarket, then boasted online about ‘passing on the Wuhan flu’.
Needless to say we don’t have to look very far afield to find examples of such disgusting behaviour; there’s plenty of it on our own doorsteps. Take the case of a certain Benjamin Evans from Wales, a drug dealer who pleaded guilty to pushing cocaine while wearing a high-visability jacket and pretending to be an emergency services worker to beat the lock-down. What about the delightful Miz. Joel Martinique Hall (again from the Land of Song), arrested and charged with 11 offences, including biting and spitting at an emergency services worker and yelling that she had Coronavrus? Then there’s absolute charmer Bevan Burke, who spat at a man in a Brum post office after an altercation, shouting ‘I’ve got Coronavirus and now you’ve got it’. The 22-year-old thug was later arrested, and began coughing and blowing on officers, shouting ‘I’ve got the virus and now you have. I hope you and your families die’. How about… well the list just goes on. Turn on the news and the stories roll in about these revolting nutters.
What is it with these shitweasels? Is there something in the water, is the warmer weather bringing them out, or what? That they’re anti-social and sociopathic goes without saying, but I’d say there’s more to it than that. These are vicious, malignant low-lifes who see our current situation as an opportunity to be exploited for criminal gain, or who have fastened on to the idea of using Coronavirus as a weapon to frighten and intimidate others. In my view this is nothing less than downright evil at work.
The world’s a dangerous enough place right now without these worthless cretins adding to the misery. Most likely those caught will end up in the slammer, but whatever time they serve, it won’t be enough. If it was left to me, the cunts would end up as fish food. Despicables, one and all.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Hope you don’t mind Ron, but I’d like to include this guy:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.euroweeklynews.com/2020/04/06/watch-royal-mail-postman-caught-wiping-saliva-all-over-pensioners-door-handle/amp/

He was put forward as a nomination which was little more than a one liner, but fits very well into your ‘despicables’ category.
Regards,
Admin

BILL GATES:

A Word in the Windows cunting please for ageing computer software wunderkind William Gates, who likes to be known as Bill, who is of the opinion that being one of the wealthiest geeks on the plant gives you the automatic right to attitudenize and pretend to be an expert on anything that takes your fancy.

Today 4 eyed Bill has graciously consented to grant the BBC an audience on their favourite (at the moment) topic: “The Virus”

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0896rpg

Notice throughout the discourse crafty cunt Bill uses the term “we” when discussing the notion of providing a solution to a terrible problem, suggesting that he, too, is a medical scientist, and not just a guy who got lucky fiddling about with computers.

He and Richard Branson, another oily motherfucker ought to be stranded together on a desrt island where they could proceed to bore each other to death with their raving self-importance. Who would crack first? Bill murders Dick or Dick murders Bill?

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Tentative Steps With The Lockdown

So there I am in my old pyjama leg ‘mask’. I look like a fucking Ninja Turtle. She opens the door and I take my first tentative step outside. But that graphic showed that the virus hangs in the air. I want to turn back but she won’t let me.
The road is long (to the garage) and so is the list.
‘I must have Worcester Sauce: ‘ ‘I must have Baby Wipes non fragranced’.
I tentatively tiptoe out the backyard, tentatively opening the gate, tentatively turning left, peering round onto the street. Is there anyone around? No, oh off I go.
I suppose the ‘hunter gatherers’ would stride out manfully to go and get food. I am like a squirrel crossing the main road.
Then the country path. I cannot even stop and give Willow a pat so desperate I am to get thing done.
The lights of the garage. Do I check the balance? No. Don’t take the risk.
There’s a security woman on the door. We have to queue two metres. But some don’t respect it and I’m so far back others jump in.
I tentatively enter. Where is the basket? Down at the counter. But the arrows point I should go the other way. I follow the arrows all the way round to get the basket. Then I start again. By this time I feel so nervous I abandon the list and just start throwing items from the shelves in as I pass.
Did that woman just cough? He looks as though he could have it.
Must get the milk and bread. But the aisle is narrow. Am I two metres away from him? No way. I must just rush in.
Terror no chicken steaks. Will she eat tinned fish? She hates fish.
Oh thank God there are some Chocolate Buttons.
The counter. They put a barrier up so you only put through one item at time. So slow.
Now the dreaded paying with the card. No one has cleaned it since the last time. Remember not to touch your face on the way back. OK.
Forgetting not to touch my face under the pressure of it all I rush home as fast as I can.
‘Where is the…?’ You didn’t get the….?
They are taking tentative steps in Italy, Spain to ease the lockdown. I do so want to walk with ease again.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

Dr Chaand Nagpaul is a moaning about racism cunt.

Unsurprisingly the story was in the Guardian, the British Medical Association chair Dr Chaand Nagpaul, has urged the government to look in to why the first 10 doctors to die of covid-19 were black, Asian or a minority. He says things like it could be that ethnic doctors fear they may be bullied if they ask for PPE, and that they were less likely to raise concerns for fear of being reprimanded as opposed to their white counterparts. Fuck off you daft cunt, he even acknowledged at the start of the article that black and minority employees make up 44% of NHS staff. Well there you go you thick fucker, it’s clearly a mathematical certainty that more black employees will die if they make up nearly half the work force.

He also goes on to say that it’s sad because all but one of these black or Asian doctors were not born here, and have moved here to give their lives for the NHS. I don’t believe they did; I believe they moved here for a better life and security for their families and clearly to walk straight in to a job. I appreciate they were helping to save lives, but they didn’t come here specifically to give their lives for the cause like a soldier does, they were already here when the outbreak occured, just like the white doctors who are here.

If I were you Dr Nagpaul, I’d be concerned why only 14% of NHS staff are from England and Wales! If that figure were for black and ethnic minorities you’d be screaming discrimination. But no it’s only racist when it suits your cause. You fucking hypocritical cunt.

Nominated by elcuntio

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/apr/10/uk-coronavirus-deaths-bame-doctors-bma

MOUTH BREATHING JOGGING CUNTS

Whilst trying to keep Cabin Fever at bay from the Chinky Bat Bollocks Flu, I go for my allowed once a day exercise. During my walk I have to contend with wheezing, panting, sweating cunts jogging past me coughing, spluttering and spraying me with sweat. These fucking cunts boil my piss when there isn’t a Pandemic. There’s just something about them, the ‘look at me, I’m fitter than you, I jog, look at my new running shoes’. I’ve got one thing to say to you cunts,‘’Freddie Fit’. Supposed king of jogging who died from a heart attack outside whilst you’ve guessed it ‘jogging’. The irony of it is, he was probably found on the floor by two pissed up, fag smoking fat cunts who were both eating a fish cake at the time.

Nominated by Bob Frapples