Steve Coogan is, once again, a firm contender for cunt of the year. Not content with talking shite about Brexiteers and the evil press, he’s now proved beyond doubt (as if there were any any) that, like most multi-millionaires, he’s a miserly grasping cunt. It’s just emerged that Coogan is using the furloughing scheme, which was set up to help businesses with their staff during the kung flu to pay his domestic staff, a gardener and a housekeeper, whom he has furloughed.

This is exactly what Victoria Beckham took so much flak for doing, but she at least found her sense of shame and is paying her employees from her own pocket. I’ve long considered Coogan to a be a piece of shit in the same vein as Hugh Grant, though Grant does at least admit he’s a nasty fucker. Both are among the most vehement remoaners, with Coogan referring to the patriots who voted to leave the EU as dinosaurs, and both are swivel eyed proponents of stricter press regulation. Grant hates the press because they had nerve to report on his arrest for getting sucked off in a car in a public place and Coogan hates them because they reported on his allegedly prodigious use of the old Colombian dandruff. Note that both of these pricks hate the press for telling us about something that Coogan and Grant both freely chose to do.

Anyway, Coogan is a shameful, grasping cunt for expecting the British taxpayer to fund the furloughing of two people in his employ, when he isn’t even a business. He could easily do it from his own pocket without noticing any difference, but no, why should he when those of us who aren’t multi-millionaires can do it for him. Incidentally, both employees are reported to be gutted at their employer treating them in such a way. Well if I were them, I’d be looking for a new employer. One who actually treated me with respect. If I were his gardener, I’d shove a leaf blower up Coogan’s arrogant jacksie and turn it  on.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

‘Spot the Furlough Cunt’

I’m sure that we’re all familiar with that classic game ‘Spot the Ball’. In these lockdown days of cabin fever, we’re all searching for distraction, so allow me to propose a variation on an old theme, entitled ‘Spot the Furlough Cunt’.
The furlough scheme is intended to help those people left without work and pay due to the Covid-19 menace. Individuals are eligible for 80% of wages, up to a monthly cap of £2.5k. To quote MP Andrew Bridgen, the scheme ‘is to protect businesses that are suspended during the epidemic’.
So how about a little game of ‘Spot the Furlough Cunt’, by naming those tight-fisted bastards who see a chance to exploit the system and milk the taxpayer. Remember the case of multi-millionaire Victoria ‘Sourpuss’ Beckham, who sought to furlough staff at her failing fashion house vanity project? I’ll throw in another couple of arseholes to get things moving.

Let’s start with Limp Dick peer Lord Fox, who’s got a nice little earner going. In a move described by Ian Duncan Smith as ‘a bit rum’, the foxy one has become the first Parliamentarian to furlough himself from his company Vulpes Advisory, of which he is the owner and sole employee. This in spite of the fact that, according to ‘The Telegraph’, the company has at least £100k in its accounts. Meanwhile, Foxy continues to claim £162 per day allowance for his ‘work’ in the Lords, which is being conducted ‘virtually’ during lockdown. MP Robert Halfon angrily stated that the furlough ‘was never meant to be for wealthy Lords’. A case of burning the taxpayer at both ends, it seems.

Then we have that sickening champers socialist, and arch-Remoaner Steve ‘everyone’s a bit of a cunt sometimes’ Coogan. Coogcunt has furloughed his gardener and housekeeper at his £4 mill. country mansion, leaving the taxpayer to pick up the tab. He claims that it’s ‘a non-story’, but judging by the outrage expressed on soshul meeja, a lot of people out there reckon that the furlough isn’t meant to help multi-millionaires pay for private housekeeping costs. As Coogcunt’s alter ego Paul Calf would say, ‘bag o’ shite’.

Oh these wheezes are no doubt within the rules, but they must leave a very bad taste in the mouths of millions struggling to make ends meet right now. So come on all you folks out there in IsACland; any more chancing, snout-in-the trough cunts that you’d care to call out?

Nominated by Ron Knee

Furloughing Holidaymakers :

One of the most piss boiling scenes in recent weeks are those showing crowded beaches in Southend and other places. Now, apart from the lack of social distancing, this would not particularly bother me if it was taking place at the weekend. However, we’re talking midweek here. Hordes of fuckin’ mongs who think furloughing was brought in to provide a holiday on the state.

I think the furlough scheme was a great idea but it’s been abused by the usual minority of selfish, look at me cunts. When it was brought in, it should have had stipulations for what the money should not be used for. Just a few things, not a long list. At the top of the list would be “not for lazing around on your fat arse all day on a beach spending money on petrol, ice creams, buckets and spades.

These fuckers are laughing in the faces of key workers who’ve remained working throughout. And yes, you’ve guessed it, many of these cunts will be those who are clapping outside their doors every Thursday. Many key workers will be looking at these twats and thinking they’ve been taken for real mugs. There they are, working their arses off, still paying tax which is funding these lazy twats lifestyle.

Who could blame the key workers if, like me, they told these idle cunts to f – f – f – furlough off.

Nominated by Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt

Clare Moseley is a cunt

Clare Moseley is a cunt and no mistake, i’d never heard of this hatchet faced old easy lay until a friend mentioned her, and i googled her.
She’s involved with something called care4calais, which basically seems to encourage every piece of filth that wants to enter the UK illegally, to do just that.
She must be extremely stupid or gullible, or both i suspect. She says of the scum trying (and succeeding) to get to the UK in dinghies.
“These people are fleeing terrifying situations in some of the most dangerous parts of the world. They aim for the UK because they want to be safe.”
“Many have family or other connections, and others know our language and want to integrate and contribute.”
Since the lockdown at least 609 illegal immigrants have made it here, the french have stopped “at least 44 ” of the dirty cunts. Fucking sickening.
It seems ” le cunts ” are as adept at stopping illegals climbing in dinghies, as they are at fighting wars.
I have never seen such shit as in on the care4calais website.
One article is titled, 13 year old amir dreams of playing cricket with his cousins in the UK. I bet he fucking does!
When he gets to 16 he’ll be able to claim benefits, free health care and whatever else with the poisonous bastards.
I hope that cunt clare moseley catches something very nasty and incurable, because stupid cunts like her are accelerating the demise of UK.

Nominated by The cunt man of Alcatraz

Can I get a rigid inflatable cunting for Care4Calais please.

Whilst I have no truck with bleeding-heart christians wanting to reach out to their fellow man, I think the kind of bollocks these cunts are spouting is encouraging these scrounging bastards to come to the UK.
The ‘facts’ as laid out on the ‘Truth About Refugees’ page, makes no mention of the fucking criminal activities and the drain on the welfare system. Apparently, none of them want to sneak into the country, though I’d contend that the fleet of dinghys off the south coast over the weekend says something else. Must’ve looked like fucking D-Day in reverse.

The sooner we bring back gunboat diplomacy to deal with this scourge, the better. If those French cunts won’t burn the refugees out, we should commission a new battleship, HMS Annihilator, and shell the cunts from the Channel.

Oh, and if you want to watch something to get your piss boiling, try this:

Nominated by The Stained Gusset

Isn’t this the woman who was shagging one of the Jungle inmates? So no conflict of interest there then!

Jair Bolsonaro
There is no doubt that Brazilian president Bolsonaro is the most pathetic leader in the history of the world. He is a cunt of volcanic dimensions and deserves to be trampled by a samba group into a smear of blood and flesh on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. That is, if there is ever another Carnival. At the rate Brazilians are dying this looks unlikely.

When asked to comment on 700 deaths in a single day his reply was “So what?”. He proceeded to show his sympathy for the victims and their families when the death toll hit 10,000 by going water skiing.

Oh and incidentally he forced his health minister to resign because he did not agree with Bolsonaro´s description of the coronavirus as “little flu”. He followed this by then forcing his justice minister – Sergio Moro, the judge who put the previous president Lula in jail on corruption charges – to resign as well. It just happened that Moro was overseeing an investigation into corruptions by one of Bolso´s freeloading sons.

Nominated by Mr Polly

also guilty of this:  https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2019/02/10/brazilian-president-jair-bolsonaro-erase-lgbt-content-schools/

COFFEE DRINKERS:-

An ooh-get-the-madam pretentious? – moi? cunting please for the new trendy snobs – “serious” coffee drinkers. At one time wine connossieurs were considered the most asinine pretentious motherfuckers in the world, but the post Maxwell House soy boys have managed to outdo them, even garnering serious articles in the City AM newspaper:

How to make the perfect cup of coffee at home

Of course, pansy “City boy” poseurs have always tried to make an easy job hard, their way of appearing macho in a soft as shit world – half an hours hard exercise in a Bishopsgate gym, before applying the “discreet” makeup to cycle the 500 yards back to the office (a final dusting of powder after removing the cycle helmet – can’t have a shiny nose when arsehole crawling to the lady boss).

This article (online only as there is no printed hard copy at the moment), even suggests getting scales to measure out the coffee beans – even the wine lovers didn’t go that far!. Go on lads, go and just get a bottle of Camp coffee and a tin of Ideal Milk like we did in the fifties and stop being so fucking arty-farty.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs