The sheer dichotomy between what is represented in sickly tv ads and the reality is astonishing.

I have an issue with Halifax. You know the bank with the tv ads showing their staff at home but still ever ready to help. Bullshit. Try to call them and you get the “high volumes due to covid excuse” which frankly is wearing very thin by now.

If you hold to speak to an agent the line goes blank after a few minutes. And that’s that. You can’t contact them by email. So you have to write a letter and post it to them!!! In 2020!!!

Which I did and about a week later I got THREE replies.  None of which addressed my issue. They were stock answers.

So I have had to write and send another letter.

Ok it is not only the Halifax but their ads have always been super-annoying.

And if phone enquiries can be piped through to their homes and they are looking at a screen with the same information as in the office then why don’t they fecking answer?

I have come to the conclusion that covid has given millions of lazy bastards a permanent excuse not to do the job they are paid for and big companies the service they are contracted for.

I never thought it would be possible to get a WORSE service than outsourced foreign call centres but we are experiencing precisely this now.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss 

The British Government is the government of all the cunts.

For the first time in its history, UNICEF is providing funds to help feed British children.

With billions being pissed up the wall on crap track and trace, crap vaccines, crap PCR testing, absurdly heavy handed policing of anti-lockdown protests, HS2, overseas aid, and cunt-in-the sky environmental fantasies, we are apparently now receiving UNICEF aid to enable us to feed our kids.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-55348047

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/16/unicef-feed-hungry-children-uk-first-time-history

Boris Johnson is a cunt. Mat Hancock is a cunt. Rishi Sunak is a cunt. Michael Gove is a cunt, Priti Patel is a cunt. Gavin Williamson is a cunt. Cunts, cunts, fucking cunts.

Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

Who have just made it back to Norfolk (formerly a low-risk Tier 2 county) from London, as London is bumped up to Tier 4 / total lockdown. You’d think they knew in advance, wouldn’t you?

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1374732/royal-family-news-kate-middleton-prince-William-prince-George-charlotte-Christmas-queen

No doubt they had a police escort detail…

But hold! Entertainment for all here; the EDP, Archant’s East Anglian rag, reports a worrying rise in Norfolk Covid cases: West Norfolk – where Sandringham and Bill’s bolthole, Anmer Hall are located – hitting record levels this week, and now above the national rolling average

Will Billy be volunteering for the Air Ambulance again?
Or will the darlings of the nation find themselves back in The Smoke for Christmas?
Don’t ask me, timewasters. Ask the Daily Express.

Nominated by: Komodo 

Sir Lancelot and Those who Disdain Courtly Love

Think how different things would have been if Sir Lancelot had kept his dirty hands off Guinevere and adhered to the concepts of courtly love. But he didn´t. He ignored them and by allowing himself to be ensnared by Guinevere, he brought chaos that led to the death of King Arthur and the end of the order of Knights of Round Table. (He was also the cause of the death of the flaky Lady of Shalott although to be fair to him, it was not his fault.)

There is a debate over whether courtly love was a concept in which a knight idealized and idolized a lady from a distance or whether it had a physical dimension. Did he spend his time worshipping her and imagining the unattainable erotic delights he was missing or did he bed her? Was he a pure hearted idealist or a lecher who was ready to turn another man into a cuckold? The object of the knight´s passion was usually the wife of his lord or sovereign so by entering into a sexual relationship with her, he was not only breaking the sacred bonds of matrimony but betraying his oath of allegiance and committing treason.

Remember this ISACers the next time you are tempted to fondle or grope another man´s dearest.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

(For thick cunts – myself included, who thought the nom was about Courtney Love (Kurt Cobain’s widow) – here’s an explanation of Courtly Love – DA)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtly_love

Free food for our starving, underpaid and overworked politicians.

Politicians currently receive up to £125.00 a week in food allowances, funded fully by the taxpayer, on top of a basic salary of 80 plus thousand a year and apparently unlimited expenses.
The best food money can buy, in the Palace of Westminster, which would cost £2-300 per head in a London restaurant, for the discounted price of fish and chips.
As almost 1.5 million UK citizens are forced to go to food banks – not because they don’t like what’s in Waitrose, not because the Marks And Spencers delivery vehicle is caught up in traffic – because in one of the richest Countries in the world, in the 21st Century – people do not have sufficient income to avoid starving to death.
There will be the usual suspects who use food banks because their cult tells them to take everything from non followers, and the 20 stone chav sweatbags who spend their benefits on Stella, drugs, Sky TV and takeouts, but amongst these are proud people who are driven to this because they have nothing.
End this outrage.

Nominated by: Vernon Fox