Monkey-tail beards are for cunts, aren’t they.

Are you tired of your hipster beard?
Do you want to look like even more of a twat?

? Why not try ….the monkey tail beard! ?

It starts at one ear then wraps around the chin and mouth to complete the I Am A Wanker look.

?

Step 1 – Grow a beard
Step 2 – Shave off one sideburn
Step 3 – Carve out the area below the bottom lip
Step 4 – Clean up the edges to complete that chinstrap monkey tail appearance.

??

Congratulations!

? You now look like a cunt.

(No really, it’s a thing. We checked. More here. – NA)

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

James O’Brien aka Lord Haw Haw

You may believe this is a cunting of James O’Brien the egregious radio host with his metropolitan elite views, but it isn’t.

What it is, is in-fact a reality check, I’ve heard the man himself use the phrase, “contempt for the conmen, compassion for the conned”

What this doesn’t take in to account is that probably 99% of people knew how they was going to vote before the referendum was even announced, views on the EU are intrenched in people generally, you’re either pro or anti EU, this hasn’t really changed much over the last 27 years since the EEC morphed into what it is today.

To use phrases like “single market” or “customs union” is not only disingenuous but misleading.

Take Pembrokeshire for example, the largest voting block in Pembrokeshire is farmers which have always be split between haves and have nots, the previous of which are pro EU the latter being anti EU which is about a 50/50 split.

Same goes for the general UK population, those who have mostly benefited from EU membership are mostly pro EU, except O’Brien can’t really grasp this at all, it’s not purely about money or immigration, it’s a myriad of reasons, which are far more complex than these 2 topics,

I imagine if O’Brien had been around a 100 years ago he’d say Ireland should remain part of the UK for independence would induce even more poverty (which it did actually), not everything revolves around the mighty Buck, O’Brien should learn this but of course he never will or any of his ilk!!!

P.S
I heard him use the word “fixable” on the wireless a few days ago, what a fucking waste of private education the bog brained cunt is, use proper English, same goes for other faux intellectuals, stick to more basic words to avoid unnecessary embarrassment, okay O’Brien, such irritating misuse of the English language may make me discombobulate!!!

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

Ok I know that most people that have had any dealings with this shit show are already fully aware of what a bunch of cunts they are especially when trying to resolve a problem.
Now they have decided to out cunt themselves and tell their hard working dedicated Engineers that they have to accept the shittiest of shit employment terms and conditions or basically they can all fuck off and become pizza delivery drivers (no offence).
The same Engineers that provide 24/7 emergency cover and regularly visit confirmed covid customers to ensure they have hot water and heating.
A strike is now ongoing as Engineers have decided to tell Cunt in Chief Chris O’Shame to go fuck himself.

Dirty fucking Cunts!

News Story is here.

Nominated by: Shaggy Mcshagnasty

In 1833 Great Britain used 40% of its entire National budget to buy slaves out of their contracts – 20 million at the time, in todays money – quite a fucking lot! (Gov.UK Freedom of information act).

The amount was so huge it took until 2014 for UK taxpayers to pay it off – note “taxpayers” – you, me and everyone else who pays tax – not those who had profited from this despicable trade but us mugs. Mention this established fact to BLM as you hand them your part of the bill.

So, short, sweet and simple – where’s our reparations’ you ungrateful cunts – don’t make me don my white panther outfit and burn down the fried chiggun shops now!
That is all.

Nominated by: Vernon Fox

Fucking hell I’m so fed up of late cunts, not just coz they’re lazy, ignorant twats, but coz they give us decent tradesmen a bad name.

I live in a rented house (though I’ve just bought a place with my girlfriend, yet to move in), and there was a leak. I could’ve sorted it myself but as it’s not my place I’m not gonna fuck about with the plumbing.
The geezer was due at 10.30.
The cunt turned up at 2.
Didn’t answer my calls. Wasted my day. Turned up, but forgot his tools… so a job that could’ve started at 10.30 and finished at 10.45, started at 1400 and finished at 1530.
Cunt.

When I was self employed (sparks) I considered being 10 minutes late as LATE.
Now I’m employed, they consider 5 minutes late as moan moan fucking moan…
….fair enough in my book….

How do these ignorant cunts get, and hold onto customers?
How can anyone think it is acceptable to fuck people about like that?

My sis ordered a plumber a year ago. Didn’t turn up. Ordered another. Didn’t turn up.
My dad did the job.
2 days later one of them turned up to do the job…. what a lazy useless cunt. 2 fucking days late. I bet the cunt somehow still gets customers though coz, well, that’s just how tradesmen are….

NO WE ARE FUCKING NOT.

It gives us all a bad name and I really can’t understand how hard it can be when someone says:
“what time are you coming?”
To say:
“Ten thirty”
And then to turn up at ten thirty. Or by 11. Or within 3 fucking hours of the time you said. Or to call the client and tell them you’re running late

.
Or just to answer your fucking phone in the first place….

Useless cunts.

Nominated by: Deploy the Sausage