I recently did a job and was stripping down a treble wardrobe for a customer,
I asked him to pass me my screwdriver (bespoke, expensive)
And when he passed it me It was with horror I noticed he had long fingernails!!

I’ve seen this before,
Unclean fuckers who have talons like Diana Ross.
No excuse unless you’re a werewolf,
Or a Hindu fakir.

A man should have closely cropped nails
For working, and not some Draculaesque talons that can inadvertently scratch or puncture bystanders.
It’s incredibly ducky
And deeply suspect.

I took a instant dislike to this customer,
And although I remained professional throughout I did it with a air of contempt on my face.

These people should be forcibly shorn .

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

And supported by: David Cuntsbury

Oh my word yes MNC, I had to grab a vomit receptacle the other day when I inadvertently began to watch Time Team. There is a greasy, smelly-looking Dorset yokel (Phil Harding, presumably – Day Admin) on there who has been ‘developed’ by Channel Four to become a television personality archaeologist. In the early days he was very meek and quiet (just look for an early episode on Youtube), but somebody at C4 had a word and told him they’d have to get replacement archaeologist if he didn’t start to develop a noticeable TV persona, and now the cunt is so full of himself he’s set to burst all over Lefty Robinson.

What truly horrifies me though is the length of this human greaseball’s finger nails. They are longer than most women’s nails, and rather than looking scrubbed and clean, they look like he scoops them out with the C4 canteen teaspoons, or one of those revolting nail care penknives that your next door neighbour brings back for you from Malta. I appreciate his job isn’t one that attracts those with an on-site manicurist, but his dirt resembles aged faeces, tooth scrapings and armpit oil. He is a dirty, smelly, unhygienic cunt of a man, and is the reason I had to stop watching TT.

Here she is again.
Another holiday, another boob job.
Another waste of a human skin.
This is, allegedly, her 12th trip overseas this year. Yet, she’s supposed to be bankrupt.
I’m missing some wrinkle here, I need a better accountant.

Mirror News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

(Intentionally scheduled for gents with Early Morning Horn Syndrome! – Day Admin)

A nomination for ‘Have I Got News For You’ . Or as i’ve begun to call it, Have I got Gayblackandtokenfemales For You’

Paul and Ian look around the audience for approval. A gay guest panellist gives out a burst of camp, arse-crawling laughter.

A black guest panellist gives out a burst of faux-joyous, arse-crawling laughter.

A posh female guest panellist gives out a burst of coquettish, arse-crawling laughter.

A snarky host puts up an orange with wisps of something on top of it.
Who could it be?
Then a picture of Boris Johnson made of mashed potaro.
‘E’ looks better there dunnee? Wot u reckon cut price stormzy?”
‘Oh my days blud, dey made Boris outta mash potato, din dey? That is mental, fam!’
Audience; ‘Huwf-huwf-huwf! Aren’t we all so clever and up-to-the-minute on current affairs!’
Guest Host; ‘Haha , look at Jacob Rees Mogg! He’s a twit, and nearly as posh as i am!’

The token guests might laugh more than my dog, but she would probably say more than they do.

What a load of rancid cunt.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

And seconded by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Havent watched this for a few years, since it started with some man in a frock having a go about how Brexit voters were stupid. Tee hee.

Hislop is a smug public school metropolitan right on lefty. By god you want to punch the cunt.

Merton is not and has never been remotely funny. Guests are lefty twats unless they put on a conservative (far right by their values) type on, to be mocked.

It seems to be the Guardian’s attempt at humour.
I havent seen the show CP refers to but I suppose it is:-
Boris, tee hee.
Trump, tee hee.
And presumably Braverman tee hee.
Ad fucking infinitum.
BBC at it’s most dire.

(Here’s a taster – Day Admin You Tube Link  )

Recently, we have seen this repulsive slab of lard as the cunt he really is (by being a total cunt to restaurant staff).

But now this vast sack of shit has proved his cunt credentials again. This time by nicking jokes off comedians like Ricky Gervais and Noel Fielding and passing them off as his own work.

Some knobheads might say ‘But… But,,, Isn’t all comedy like that?’ No, it isn’t You didn’t see Monty Python do ‘Kitten Kong’ or The Goodies do ‘Spanish Inquisition’. They did their own stuff and that was it. Corden is just a lazy thieving fat cunt, and even his dreadful Car Pool Karaoke was pinched off someone else.

People are seeing through this cunt more and more. And I hope this is the beginning of the end and the end of the pier for the fat shit.

edinburghnews News Link

Nominated by: Norman

I’d like to nominate – on Remembrance Sunday – this steaming pile of woke brainwashing bullshit aimed at the kiddies published on the Newsround section of Al Beeb today.

Paraphrasing slightly, but it boils down to: Did you know, kiddies, that you can commemorate those fallen in war with poppies in colours other than red?

(quote – “Some people feel that the red poppy glorifies war and conflict …. What poppy do you wear? Or do you choose not to wear a poppy? Let us know in the comments below”)

Inevitably, there is a black poppy which “commemorates the contributions of black, African and Caribbean communities to the war effort – as servicemen and servicewomen, and as civilians … [it] aims to highlight “largely untold historical legacies” from the 16th century onwards.” Of fcking course.

There’s a purple poppy – “worn to remember animals that have been victims of war”.

And finally, the white poppy, which “commemorates people who died in conflict, but focuses on achieving peace and challenging the way we look at war”.

FFS, is nothing sacred?! Are none of our traditions safe from being pawed over by woke idiots intent on razing our heritage, culture and character to the ground?!! This is simply a Nation wanting to commemorate its war dead for dog’s sake.

It’s only a matter of time before we get a rainbow poppy to recognise the efforts of that huge consort of gay servicemen. Wear your Pride Poppy with Pride. And a Tranny poppy – probably made from frilly polyester knickers.

I remember being taught at school that the red of the poppy symbolised the blood shed by men on fields in WW1. The point being that all humans (and animals) bleed red blood so there is zero need for all the above divisive bollocks. The final irony is that those fellas died for something better than this.

Rant over, time for a vino.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Fuckwittery Britannia