Men who have long fingernails

I recently did a job and was stripping down a treble wardrobe for a customer,
I asked him to pass me my screwdriver (bespoke, expensive)
And when he passed it me It was with horror I noticed he had long fingernails!!

I’ve seen this before,
Unclean fuckers who have talons like Diana Ross.
No excuse unless you’re a werewolf,
Or a Hindu fakir.

A man should have closely cropped nails
For working, and not some Draculaesque talons that can inadvertently scratch or puncture bystanders.
It’s incredibly ducky
And deeply suspect.

I took a instant dislike to this customer,
And although I remained professional throughout I did it with a air of contempt on my face.

These people should be forcibly shorn .

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

And supported by: David Cuntsbury

Oh my word yes MNC, I had to grab a vomit receptacle the other day when I inadvertently began to watch Time Team. There is a greasy, smelly-looking Dorset yokel (Phil Harding, presumably – Day Admin) on there who has been ‘developed’ by Channel Four to become a television personality archaeologist. In the early days he was very meek and quiet (just look for an early episode on Youtube), but somebody at C4 had a word and told him they’d have to get replacement archaeologist if he didn’t start to develop a noticeable TV persona, and now the cunt is so full of himself he’s set to burst all over Lefty Robinson.

What truly horrifies me though is the length of this human greaseball’s finger nails. They are longer than most women’s nails, and rather than looking scrubbed and clean, they look like he scoops them out with the C4 canteen teaspoons, or one of those revolting nail care penknives that your next door neighbour brings back for you from Malta. I appreciate his job isn’t one that attracts those with an on-site manicurist, but his dirt resembles aged faeces, tooth scrapings and armpit oil. He is a dirty, smelly, unhygienic cunt of a man, and is the reason I had to stop watching TT.

62 thoughts on “Men who have long fingernails

    • That’s a damned good idea, UT.
      I think I’ll get some rum after work, not had any for ages. Top shout, Sir!

      • Just be careful Thomas for its gone “modern”…all sorts of frankly odd and possibly Gayist flavours and such.

        Lambs Navy Rum will see you right as Cap’n Bligh.

  1. A man with long fingernails put his fingers in other mens’ unwashed bottoms. Closely followed by his winkle.

  2. Phil ‘Ooo-arr’ Harding probably grows his talons to avoid the need for a trowel when he’s scratching around in the dirt looking for some broken pottery. So yes, a dirty, lazy cunt, but probably much like most archeologists.
    I wonder if that Carenza bird is dirty too?

    • By the way, has Sir Baldrick Robinson ever been cunted? He ought to be. I can’t stand the porky little cunt.

    • Look at that scabby cunt in the header pic.
      Clearly a mental.

      How can he do anything with nails like that?

      Can’t use tools, or do everyday things,
      He’d say
      “oh im doing it for religious reasons”…

      And I’d say

      ” I worship soap the one true God you scruffy bastard”

      and set to chopping them off.

      It’s a sign of mentalism or duckdeviancy .

    • Remember the episode where Carenza had unearthed some Roman pottery and Baldrick said “Well let go over and take a look at Carenza’s jugs”?? I was very disappointed to see that weren’t jugs after all, but something more akin to gravy boats.

      • She hasn’t any jugs, some cunt of a medico told her she needed a double mastectomy. She didn’t, and won a big court case.

      • He plays pretty mean blues guitar around the pubs of Salisbury. Smelly, cantankerous auld bastard too.

  3. I was on a project recently and one of the plumbers had pink painted nails. Looked rough and normal as any plumber otherwise.

  4. Christ only knows what their toenails look like, if they’ve got long fingernails.
    Bet they go through (literally) a pair of socks a day.

  5. I saw quite a few men in Asia with long fingernails. I asked someone why and answers varied from signalling that you are wealthy and don’t do manual labour to picking out earwax (and other orifices).

    Agree with Miserable, men’s fingernails should be short. Aside from keeping them clean, not breaking them or stabbing some other cunt or yourself, there doesn’t seem to be any upside.

  6. What did early man do with his fingernails? Or chimps for the matter? You don’t see them with stupid long nails, they wouldn’t function properly. Do they bite them?

    • That’s a myth. Vertically challenged people are usually as perfectly proportioned as normal folk.
      They can, as we do, reach round in the shower to remove a stubborn clinker, or Klingon.
      Whichever you prefer.

      • Dangleberries, was an expression of old.
        But I have no such problem these days as I use the Bidet for donkeys years or the shower head will suffice, if I’m stuck somewhere else. He He hah ha
        Oh and I manicure my fingernails daily as my work makes em dirty, fucking tools, oils and sealants and shit.
        Yes the shorter the better the health an hygiene.

  7. Is the chap above in the photo an Indian version of Wolverine? Like most things from there it doesn’t work very well. He just looks like he is holding a bunch of tape measures.

    • That bumpkin on Time Team, needs throwing in a sheep dip.
      Fuckin dosser.

      He’s got more dirt clinging to him than what he digs up.

      And he should have subtitles.
      I can’t understand half of what he says!

      Sir Tony should have a word.
      Tidy yourself up or your sacked.
      Looks like he’s mugged a scarecrow.

  8. Sometimes if I have itchy bollocks I wish that I have long fingernails.

    But I don’t.

    Overgrown fingernails are a sign of a soap dodger.
    You instinctively know that they also have cheesy feet and bad breath.

    Excellent cunting.

  9. Working mans club me old dad used to take me too in Shepperton when I was a boy had a steward/ landlord they called fingers cos of his nails also had chip shop hair all lank and greasy, the stop oil protest cunts would have had palpitations if they had seen him.
    He was okish as a bloke but it was a bit disconcerting when he brought out the sarnies on darts night, never saw him with clean nails so obviously rarely washed his mitts , if he had committed a crime now the forensics would be fucked with all the different DNA hiding under his claws from cleaning the bogs out and fiddling with his mrs.🤢🤮

  10. Dirty cunts. Phil’s panties probably smell like fish that’s been hidden behind a sofa for a few year.

    As for fingernail, I wretch at the sight of men who have dirty, long ones.

    There’s absolutely no need for it.

    Did anyone hear about that dirty Iranian who dies after washing after 50 years.

    Filthy cunts. A least a cat licks itself.

    • Yes, indeed, and it’s not always a pleasant sight.
      However, I never tell Dexter off, for his unattractive habits.
      There’s a reason why I named him after a ( fictional) serial killer, as the scars on my arms will attest.

  11. Not something that I have come across. I suppose it could be an issue, dogging, in the dark, New Mills area.

  12. I remember screwing my way around South East Asia when I was younger and seeing many effeminate men with long finger nails. I don’t believe they were gay. It was some kind of status symbol. It looked horrible.

  13. Short armed persons might need to grow their fingernails to reach areas unreachable to any normal sized person. Such as fat cunt.

  14. I’d never employ a man with long nails.
    The interview would stop soon as I saw his grubby claws.

    In fact I don’t think there’s any place in society for them.

    Now im a fairly easy going bloke as you all know,
    And I’m not saying they should be rounded up and gassed.

    Oh, sorry I am saying that.
    Yes, what was I thinking?
    Gas em.

    • Bloody good show.

      Only considerate gentlemen would think to put these obvious bad eggs out of their disgusting misery.

  15. I’ve long nails on the right hand, short nails on the left (well, on the untruncated fingers, that is…), as a Guitar/Bass player of sorts who never got on with using pleccies I reckon I’ve a legit reason for being only a hemi-cunt when it comes to this subject.

    Another class of the partially manicured male that you might have to consider here are those ubercunts who keep only their thumbnails long.

    • I’m a curious fellow, and keep up with topical things, like spit roasts and such.
      But I’m at a total loss as to why long thumbnails should be significant.
      Unless I’m going to use them to blind someone, or rip their trachea out.
      I am curious. Enlighten me.

      • You hit the nail on the head with the blinding, thumbs to the eyes. There’s a case to be made for this being a legitimate means of self-defence when you can’t carry weapons, but round here It’s the hallmark of a family of right nasty cunts from one particular housing scheme.

  16. Iron huffs must grow their nails so they can state the bleeding obvious with “I’ll scratch your eyes out”.

  17. You haven’t lived until you’ve shoved a red hot needle through your fingernail to drain blood out after crushing the end of your finger.

  18. Always kept mine short.

    Even shorter when in my younger days playing cricket when I misjudged a slip catch and the fucking cricket ball ripped my entire index finger nail off, down to the quick on its way to boundary via my right hand.

  19. Uncouth cunts, burn them all. Same as boys with long hair; so you can’t tell if they are boys or girls. Fuck that shit, feral cunts.

  20. Good for squeezing zits though?
    Or saving time looking for tweezers?
    I bite mine to nothing…nervous habit

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