Having yet some connection with the theatre dodge after a lifetime presenting productions in celebration orf the female form (me last production “Yes it’s nude, Yes it’s rude”), Yours Truly is on occasion emailed or FB’d invitations to support the profession.

Thus in these trying times – theatres closed across the country, refused a performance license by the fucking council for me discreet supper club, boraccic thesps trying to touch me for a sub – nobody can afford a hand cart to go to hell in. Last resort prostitute me butler’s old arse orn the street but no cunt will come near – social fucking distancing!

So lots orf time to give back to the profession (not that it’s ever given me anything the cunts) so joined the group Creative Performance Protest as invited in order to give the resting cunts the benefit orf me experiences.

Noted in passing most orf the posts were orf the woke right on workers solidarity schtick. No fool like an old fool so assumed the unemployed luvvies (most orf the cunts have never been employed) would appreciate a light hearted piss take orf the chinko cunts who have put us all orn queer street.

Posted the below and within seconds was echo chambered as a waycist and banned by admin. May I humbly request that cunters who have FaceBook please join Creative Performance Protest if so minded and give it the benefit.

PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA RESTAURANT
SELL YOUR SOUL FOR FREE FOOD EVENT
Lock Down Special Menu for the Indigent Thesp

Bats Bollocks Wuhan Style or Fried Monkey Chuff Peking Style
(Served with Non Sustainable Bottom Trawled Sea Slug Sauce)

Pangolin Penis Special Soup or Fresh Uyghur Body Parts Pottage
(note all Uyghur ingredients sourced from our own farms)

Galapagos Islands Chinese Big Fleet Weird and Wonderful Rare Species Fish Platter

Rat Fuck Ice Cream

500ml Tiger Bones Lager

Food Safety Declaration: Cuisine may contain trace quantities of nuts and strange meats and fluids.

Ts & Cs. To win free one way flight and Covid test in Hong Kong Scan Barcode with your Haiwei 5G device and enter personal data as prompted. Note our partner network will harvest data automatically. All such intellectual property thus harvested may be sold or transferred to approved entities World Wide. For your security in any event it remains the sole property of PROC (THE PROPRIETOR) and Haiwei (THE MANAGEMENT), the Chinese Peoples Army (CUSTOMER RELATIONS) and Xi Jinping (THE DICTATOR). We do not recognize Equity Contracts or English Law.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Nominated because she’s a cunt with an annoying voice, tone, surname and face… not ideal given her vocation. No wonder she never made it to the national news.

Nominated by: Johnson Johnson Sr.

(I’ve never heard of her, but she’s been reading an autocue for 30 years with Granada Reports – admin)

Not my favourite team I will admit but what cunts they are.

Just won the cup. Into Europe next season. Both worth millions in revenue.

So to celebrate they announce the redundancy off 55 workers from administration to ground staff some of whom earn £25K a YEAR.

Meanwhile, swivel-eyed Herman the German Ozil sits on his butt doing nowt and collecting £350K a WEEK.

Never have the fantasy finances of premiership football been so exposed.

This is but the tip of an iceberg which points to something rather rotten at the heart of our society.

Nurses get no pay rise whilst GP’s (most of whom sat behind their desks during covid) and dentists (who weren’t even OPEN) do.

The Boris Bro JoJo becomes a peer for deserting the tories in the fight for Brexit. And stabbing his brother in the back.

The pay gap between CEOs and staff lower down the line is growing ever bigger.

The 2% digital sales tax just imposed by the govt is being passed on by Amazon to their sellers and ultimately the customers. Bezos’ profits won’t be touched.

Doesn’t all this make you feel a bit sick? It does me.

The fairness we seek is not that of the BLM Marxist fraudsters but of that between ALL the people.

Not everyone can be paid the same we know that. But surely there has to be a fairer distribution of the immense wealth that is generated?

If we don’t realise this now then when will we ever do so?

How about Rashford & Co. speaking up for the anomalies in their own profession?

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss 

A hardback and paperback cunting please for the most annoying book published in recent times – it even makes Anthony Blair’s “Journey” seem like a page-turner.

I refer of course to the Mr & Mrs. Hewitt opus “Finding Freedom” where with the aid of some little journalistic nancy boy they rehearse all their “hurt”, all their “anger”, all their “frustrations” of how badly they were treated by The Queen and all her family. I suppose Megan is just upset that Andrew didn’t want to give her one. How Harry is upset that his legitimate older brother was more “important” than him (which happens in many families anyway), but it doesn’t end there – they have become very touchy – suing newspapers for taking pictures of Archie. complaining about lack of privacy. They complain about everything, as becomes a prissy little up-her-own-arse soap actress (and that’s just Harry).

Harry the air travel fan who lectures everyone on “climate change”, including the companies that facilitate his urge to fly. It is too depressing to cntinue. Clearly they think they are “victims”. It is over every newspaper and website:

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/harry-meghan-book-excerpts-describe-184720122.html

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

A monumental cunting for these modern day highwaymen please.

A few years ago Bristol City Cuntcil in their infinite wisdom decided to drop the speed limit to 20mph across vast tracts of the city. This cost millions of quid. The reason being that as 30mph is the default speed limit for a built up area it doesn’t need repeater signs putting up whereas 20mph does. This was done on wide open main roads as well as residential side roads.

The new mayor promised to review some of the more ridiculous 20 zones but 2 years on nothing has been done. He’s probably too busy trying to erase Edward Colston’s name from the city. They’re even going to rename Colston Hall. My suggestion would be “Cunts own” Hall. Any ideas guys? Answers on a postcard to BCC. Anyway, I digress.

So, how to pay for all this expensive extra signage? I know, speed camera vans! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for road safety. If they situated their vans at accident blackspots I would be applauding them.

But they don’t because they know they wouldn’t make any money. Instead they put them on main roads that would be totally safe to do 30mph. The only way to keep at 20mph is to keep staring at the speedometer which is in itself inherently dangerous. It’s also bad for the environment as lower gears use more fuel. It also encourages people to dangerously overtake. Bad news on a number of levels. To make matters worse they like to hide around bends and at the bottom of hills.

These cunts are contributing nothing whatsoever to road safety, they are merely stitching up everyday people going about their business. It’s legalised corruption and it makes my fucking piss boil. I’ve yet to be caught by one of these cunts but it’s probably only a matter of time. If I ever do have to go on a “speed awareness course” I shall give these cunts a piece of my mind, make no mistake.

Nominated by: Cupid Stunt