In the category of “The wokest virtue signal” of the year, the nominees are too many to mention so let’s get right to it and award the Oscar to:
The Oscars.
Yesterday the cuntsordium know as “The Academy” issued new guidelines for winning it’s completely meaningless and totally irrelevant “award” known as, Oscar.
Anyone interested in the new nauseating criteria can go here and read it for themselves:
http://foxnews.com/entertainment/academy-inclusion-requirements-2024
Suffice (it) to say, Phonywood is not content with churning out Stupid Hero escapades or wokest re-makes. Now they have diversity requirements for starring roles, supporting roles, production crews, studio staff, interns, and other aspects of a film if they are to award you an Oscar.
I for one am hopping right on this wokest, gut wagon and submitting my first idea. A re-make of the Kipling classic:
The Trans Who Would be Queen.
Starring Idris Alba as Sgt. Daniel Dravot. A post op tranny who wants to establish, a utopian, multicural, monarchy in Shangri-la…on the border of Wakanda.
Also starring Arsher Ali as Sgt. Peachy Carnehan his devoted non-binary, pan-sexual partner.
With Frema Agyeman as Ms. Rudyard Kipling, a lesbian, civil rights activist and member of Antifa, who took over her husband’s failing Imperialist newspaper and turned it into the world’s premier BLM periodical. (She narrates the story from a deconstructed feminist point of view.)
It will be produced by (alleged rapist) Harvey Weinstein and directed by (alleged pedo) Roman Polanski. Original reggae theme music will be composed by Lin-Manual Miranda and will be rapped by Adele.
OK…maybe this isn’t so much a cunting as it is a my angry mind running wild through a field of contempt…but the point remains:
Oscar is a cunt
Nominated by: General Cuntster (Deceased).
…and seconded by Ron Knee
More California Snowflakery
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee speaking. As you’ll know, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has published diversity and inclusion ‘guidelines’ that film-makers must follow if their work is to be eligible for the ‘Best Picture’ Oscar category from 2024. I’m joined from Hollywood via conference link by that titan of the film industry Hymen X Prepuce III, to discuss the ramifications of this for the industry. Thankyou for joining us, Mr Prepuce III”.
“Hey, nice talkin’ ta all you good people in UK Engerland. Call me Hymie. Folks do, ‘cept that damn ex-wife ah mine. Hussy an’ that shyster mouthpiece ah hers took ma ass ta th’ cleaners, fuckin’ bitch…”.
“Er yes. Now, what’s your opinion of these quotas that are being imposed?”.
“Heck son, as President ah Gigantica Pictoors, ah gotta say we think it’s real swell. We’re all just one big happy family here in Hollywood, lookin’ out fer one nurther. We’s all frurm th’ same hood, enda th’ day”.
“This move hasn’t been met with universal acclaim. Some critics, including those from ‘under-represented’ communities, are calling it condescending and insulting, another exercise in virtue-signalling and box-ticking by luvvies lacking self-awareness”.
“Yeah well (lowers voice confidentially) don’t quote me on this, son, but it’s more horseshit from them fag-end, up their own ass pinkos. Fuckin’ commie bastards are killin’ the business, but what can ya say? If ya wanna turn a buck in this shithouse burg, ya gotta play th’ hand ya dealt. We wanna win Oscars same as every other goddamn chisler in Tinselfuckingtown”.
“But political posturing aside, won’t these rules cause practical problems for the creative process if you have to think in terms of quotas constantly?”.
“Kid, ya gotta keep ahead of th’ game. We already got our first project up an’ runnin’. We’re re-shootin’ ‘Rocky’, a previous Best Picture. We’re in on th’ act”.
“Fascinating! A re-make of a classic American dream, rags-to-riches story”.
“Well it ain’t so much a re-make as a re-visioning, a re-imagining, as we call it. See here, Rocky’s now a midget (hush ma mouth, a person of diminished stature!) who’s always dreamed of a crack at the light flyweight championship. We got that runt from ‘Game Ah Thrones’ in. Trainer Mickey Goldmill is now Michaela, an’ Caitlyn Jenner’s excited by the potential ah th’ role”.
“What about other major characters? Apollo Creed, for example”.
“Check this out. We gone an’ got us Morgan Freeman no less!”.
“Sorry? Isn’t he over eighty?”.
“Dammit hush up boy. That kinda loose talk costs lives with the anti-ageists here! Anyways, get this! For love interest Adrian, we’s in talks with a certain superstar whose intitials is MM, real, honest-ta-goodness Hollywood royalty! Mind you, she’s actin’ up; wants $20 mill an’ top billin’. Damn bitch”.
“Well that’s diverse. All you need now is *chuckle* a dead character. The deceased community is very under-represented on screen these days…”.
“Holy goddamn shit boy, ya right! All hell’ll break loose! We need a stiff ta play Apollo Creed after he cashes in his chips.” (Grabs phone). “Central casting? Who we got on the books who croaked recently…?”.
“Er, that was just a joke Hymie. You could, you know, just get Mr Freeman to act being dead, him being well, an actor… oh well, this is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.
…and another from Dark key cunt
The Oscars.
So the people who control what films that get nominated for the Oscars have come out with their ‘diversity protocol’. A few weeks ago, Dwayne Johnson was listed as the best paid actor last year. Samoan, brown (or should that be Brown), Bald. Ticks all my boxes plus the one about being able to act. Why has he never been nominated? Cunts.
CUNTS!
