These are the highly annoying narrators of BBC’s The Repair Shop.

I know that a number of posters on here respect the skills of the artisans in this afternoon tv show who manage to restore peoples’ worthless pieces of shit into their original condition (worth about 50 p in today’s money) so that they can start crying and saying how much the item meant to Grandad but I find that the programme is ruined by their droning voices?

Not only that, but they both sound the fucking same.

Despite the pair of them having extensive filmographies on IMDb I’m hard pressed to name anything that either of them have been in.

I vaguely remember gurnard-faced jock Paterson being in a film about rival ice-cream vans, and as for sheep-botherer moon-faced Pugh I remember him playing a depraved priest who got someone up the duff in The Lakes.(The delectable Kaye Wragg was in it as well).

Why does the BBC have to pick people like this pair of boring cunts? Silly question.

Nominated by cuntator 

If you ring up Swinsons and say to the girl-‘the car in my imagination has broken down but I would like to make a claim because I am certain I insured it with you in my dreams’ she might possibly reply ‘but that’s an unfalsifiable claim’.

Or you ring up a house insurance company ‘I want to make a claim I have a house but I haven’t a clue whereabouts in the universe it is but I feel (I don’t know how) some slates have fallen off the roof and I am certain that I insured it with you on the borderland of my imagination’ quite possibly she would again say-‘but that’s an unfalsifiable claim’..
When used within the remit of science as a philosophical point it sounds perfectly ok. Just another way of saying you have to go out and find empirical evidence to prove a theory is true. But the phrase it seems to me is never used like that.

The problem is the word ‘claim’. If I say ‘I believe in God’ I’m not making a claim. I am just stating my belief. If I simply say ‘God exists’ that is of course an unfalsifiable claim. But you don’t hear religious people talk like that. We say The Creed every week at mass. ‘I believe…’ it starts.

There is tons of evidence I BELIEVE for the existence of God, the harmony of the universe, human love, heroic self -sacrifice but this evidence (in this context) can’t be used because harmony, love, sekf-sacrifice are abstract, intangible concepts.
But in that case you cannot say anything about anything at all. ‘Patience is a virtue’.

Patience is an abstract noun so is virtue. You cannot generalise about either of them with this carry on. You could maybe sit with a person for days and days to ascertain their patientness and then ask friends and relatives if they think he or she is virtuous. But that would be very laborious for every truism or proverb.

You know for a bit of fun I might simply post ‘God exists’ on here and the first person to reply with ‘that’s an unfalsifiable claim’ I will immediately reply-‘and I claim my £5:,00’.

Nominated by: Miles Plastic 

Useless cunts as a general rule.

This week we hear that up to 70 back benchers MIGHT vote against severe Covid 19 restrictions when the second national lockdown is over.

One thing we can be sure of, the so called revolt will be lily-livered and half-baked.

What have the spineless cunts done in the past nine months to hold the Government to account for its wholesale destruction of the country, people’s physical and mental health, and and economy?

What have they had to say about the ongoing invasion of illegal immigrants? That’s right, fuck all.

Has the Backbench Business Committee stood up for your business as it was flushed down the pan by HMG in response to Covid 19? Has it fuck.

What did they do during the previous administration? Oh, yes, they worked together to piss on the wishes of the British public.

1922 Committee? Bag of shite.

Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea 

Diego Maradona is/was a cunt.

‘He was the greatest player that ever lived!’

Bollocks. He was a cheat.

And that second goal vs England in ’86 was a fucking OG. Trevor Steven (I think) tackles him and puts in himself.

I’ve just replayed it 5 times on Sly News and there’s no way he kicks in.

Good riddance to a mad cunt.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt 

… and talking of cunts, here’s one from Quick Draw McGraw regarding Emmanuel Macron and the Cheat!

There are many reasons to nominate this frog granny shagger, but my nomination today is for his tweet regarding the death of Argie football cheat, Diego Maradonna.

He couldn’t just offer his condolences to the family, he had to make a childish dig at the UK at the same time by mentioning how the Argies beat “Thatcher’s England” at the Mexico World Cup.

It was fucking immature, and makes me wonder if, when told of the death, asked “Diego who”? And let’s face it, the entire fucking world knows that the Argies only “won” because the fat little fucker pushed the ball into the net with his hand, and was allowed to get away with it by the ref.

I know, I know, he’s French and we should expect anti-English rhetoric from those cunts. Macron though, has been one of the most anti-English French Presidents since De Gaulle.

Of course, he does have some reason right now. He knows that if he doesn’t get full rights for the froggy fish thieves to continue raiding UK waters, he’s done as Monsieur le President. Hopefully, that will then open the door for Marine Le Pen. Anyway, yeah, Macron is a cunt.

(Latest conspiracy update. Apparently his doctor is facing manslaughter charges – DA https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-55123188 )

I was helping my elderly neighbour yesterday put up a new book shelf (social distanced of course officer).

While there I had a sandwich and a cup of tea while sat in the kitchen with the idiot lantern on, I looked up and saw 3 cuntcil workers dancing round wheelie bins.

Apparently this trio of twats we’re from Wolverhampton (one was a dar quay of course) going on about getting Christmas number 1 with there crap singing and repugnant bin dance.

This is the level we’re now at cunters, just glad I don’t pay for this fucking freak show anymore, mark my words “Dar quays come dancing” will be next years “TV Sensation, utter cunts!!!!!

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

(More fuckwittery here – DA  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-55020730 )