What a pile of rich boys toys wank this is.

Sell outs to oil rich countries (the Emirates in New Zealand case) and propped up further by arse licking Government, both regional and national. It’s a complete non event for anyone not associated with the sorry circus; only of interest for the most jingoistic of cunts.

Emirates Team New Zealand deserve an extra slice of cunt cake for being the most extreme of hypocrites. After winning the last regatta, they said they would revert back to what they called “proper sailing”. In other words, to do away with all the technology that makes the America’s Cup nothing more than F1 on water.

So what did the lickspittle wankers do? Oh, that’s right, they promptly developed the most advanced boat to date. Best not to upset their real paymasters, all while flogging the Auckland taxpayers to death, who are unfortunately saddled with the ponce “sailors” for the next few weeks.

Fuck off and sink. Anyone got a submarine and torpedoes handy?

Nominated by: KiwiCunt

Carina Ferreira Borges, Chair of the WHO Alcohol and Drugs Commission.
There is a serious suggestion being mooted that alcohol consumption AT HOME might be banned during various covid periods.
Esteemed fellow cunters, whatever your religion may be, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I would advise you to get bloody-well stocked up with booze.

For it came to pass that a bint from the WHO had a batshit-crazy idea, and spread misery abroad…

Can you imagine what the old Grannie from the “Giles” cartoon would do if deprived of her regular G and T, or Bristol Cream ?
I am getting up early tomorrow. This year’s been so feckin grim, I MUST have alcohol…

I am in no way related to HBHubbard Distilleries and Breweries Inc….honest !!

Nominated by: HBelindaHubbard

(More here – DA https://www.itv.com/news/2020-11-30/no-lock-ins-under-lockdown-why-are-governments-calling-time-on-alcohol-to-combat-covid-19 )

and supported by: Deploy the Sausage

I’d rather fucking die.
Or even better, let’s make them die.
Though I’m sure that they know that that could be an actual outcome so I doubt they’d have the balls to do it.
1st day without beer…. getting irritable.
2nd day without beer…. missus happy, watching emmerdale, strictly come mincing, celebrity whateverthefuck and bake off with her.
3rd day without beer…. death squads.

A “These-You-Have-Loved”, hit of yesteryear, “whatever happened to///?” cunting please for golden oldie Welsh windbag Neil Kinnock, former Labour leader (failed), EU bottom feeder and wild eyed buffoon.

Just in case you thought he was dead (I certainly did! – DA), just to show a few organs are still working, he got out a crayon this week to write a piece for The Guardian, to save you having to read that expensive bog paper, here it is digested by Yahoo:

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/neil-kinnock-backing-brexit-deal-144213454.html

Even Blair has admitted it would be stupid to try to rejoin, apropos Heseltine’s senile idea this week, but Kinnock, like Gaylords Adonis & Mandy just can’t let it go – after all, he, his raddled old wife and bald cretinous son have all done very well out of the EU – far better than most of us. Self serving motherfucker.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(Must be a Dead Pool favourite surely! – DA)

Just read a list of possible side effects from the new Covid vaccine!

Common:

headache
dizziness
drowsiness, fatigue, and restless sleep
thirst and sweating
tingling or numbness in hands and feet
ringing in the ears
blurred vision and eye irritation
fluid retention and ankle swelling
mild allergic reaction
abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, diarrhea, and constipation
bladder irritation and pain, frequent urination
Overdose:
confusion and disorientation
anxiety and paranoia
anemia (low red blood cell count)
vomiting blood that may look like coffee grounds and bowel motions that look like black tar
severe allergic reaction, including swelling of the face
kidney and liver problems
seizures
coma and death
Long term side effects:
kidney and liver damage
bleeding in the stomach and bowels
increased risk of a heart attack.

Only joking… these are all side effects of Ibuprofen.

Take the vaccine.

Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt 

There are times when Wireless 4’s You & Yours programme can be as funny – in both senses of the word – as the Starmer fanzine LabourList.

Take today, for example (December 2nd 2020) On this week of forthcoming mass unemployment, one item was about yuppie wankers who must “grab a coffee” at the coffee shop instead of making it themselves.

Thirty minutes or so in, though, the reach the nadir – “Relaxed Tailoring” which apparently means “onesies” and elasticated waist suits.

God help us – I am lost for words (for once):

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000py97

Lazy bastards should have been in the services – elasticated waists? if your gut is too flabby daily PT will sort you out – I’d love to see the precious little snowflakes endure that.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs