Greetings, pale, male, and stale cis-scum! I, Olwain Tolkien-Abdullah (pronouns they/them – misgenger me and I WILL SUE) have hijacked that filthy heterosexual Chimp Licker’s account to cunt that legacy media relic:
‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’
I watched an episode of this the other night and was shocked to see that not only did it feature a WHITE PERSON, but that the ancestors of that white person were ALL WHITE TOO!
For shame! Where’s the representation? Don’t they know that, according to the Natural History Museum…
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/07/first-modern-britons-dark-black-skin-cheddar-man-dna-analysis-reveals

…the first Brits were BAME (even though they had blue eyes) and were therefore, I infer, Peacefuls – even though they preceded the advent of that religion by millennia?

And to make matters worse, all their ancestors had produced offspring by male-female pairings, thereby tacitly endorsing non-non-heterosexual means of reproduction!

But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, bearing in mind this terrestrial teleblog is the product of the rabidly right-wing BBC! But I remain hopeful the great British public will have the good sense to ignore their own biased genetic inheritance in favour of flavour-of-the-week socio-political fads…Allah willing!

Nominated by: Chimp Licker

What get my colostomy bag a sizzling and gives me the urge to spew boiling hot piss over any cunt in a 100 mile radius of where I stand is those fucking emoji things.
Stupid fucking stickers more at home on a childs bicycle than an ideal replacement for the English language which has taken 100’s of years to evolve but is now crumbling like sun dried turd before my very eyes.
It all began when I got a friends request on facebook which I duly accepted from some cunt who has crawled out of the woodwork to hang on to my coat tails of magnificence and have a little slice of The Advocunt pie.
As customary when I accept a friends request on facebook I will always send a message saying good to hear from you and how are things because I still believe in the written word but in return the brain dead cunt replied with a thumbs up emoji and that’s it!.
Of course when I saw this I immediately deleted the cunt as I figure if the cunt is too lazy to write a reply then the cunt will be too lazy to get the fucking beers when its their shout down the boozer so what good is a useless sack of shite like that to me?.
I would like to end my first nomination here on ISAC with the moral of the story is but I don’t do morals as they are pesky things that get in the way of having a good time, especially with some of the rancid old Grunters I have banged in the past so I will say this………
If you have the communication skills of a plankton then nip down to the seaside with a bucket and fill it brim full of your little buddies who will no doubt be thrilled with your communication skills but don’t knock on my door because I just ain’t that fucking wet.

Thank you and fuck off.

Nominated by: The Devils Advocunt

(Welcome to ISAC and thanks for your first of many, hopefully, nominations – DA)

You see mi (sic) name. You know what I am. A person of a darker hue.

I’ve already cunted multi-racial whiteness but maybe I should celebrate it.

The proliferation of names like Chumbawumba Patelsahib on MSM sources are really starting to piss me off.

Even the people at BBC II! recognise this (or at least the people who make Famalam) with the character Babatunde Warrington

https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/famalam/episodes/3/5/

I’ll give Famalam another recommend. They’ve joked about the proliferation of my kind in adverts as well.

Back to my fucking point (two bottles of paint stripper don’t help), my first name is an anglised version of a Hindi name. No issues with that – my parents moved here in the 60s and I was born in 1970.

My surname is a three letter word – very hard to mispronounce – and I’ll give my old man his due. Our original caste (slave?) name was 10 letters (in the Queen’s), and four syllables. Fuck that for laugh back in the 60s. He thought ‘dump it and use my last other name’. I salute you, Old Man.

Simplicity of name and ease of integration. And now I’m a cockney who teaches Physics in Leicester.

Apologies for the (obvious) drunkenness of this cunting, but know that there is someone on this Earth called Kwame Kilpatrick.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kwame_Kilpatrick

Nominated by: Dark key cunt 

Where are they when you want some? All quiet on the Fenien Front (for the time being) and the UDF have been spraying customs post with their rattle cans and declaring their withdrawal from the Peace Agreement from the comfort of The Orangeman’s Arms.

Protestant community thoroughly pissed off by Brussels meddling in Ulster and its attempt to drive a wedge between Blighty and Northern Island and its crude attempt to force a United Ireland. I hear the dulcet tones of the late Reverand Doctor Paisley “Neverrrrrr neverrr neverrr!!!” rising from the grave.

Now is the time to trump the Brussels shenanigans Men of Ulster. Talk in Belfast of a possible bombing campaign in Dublin and Brussels. Let the EU and the Yank Irish Democrats put a few troops in to police that situation. Good luck boyos. Must stress that Yours Truly and doubtless all on this site are thoroughly against violence but it has to be admitted that in certain hands the threat of has its uses.

Thinking back to me time over there in the ’70s and ’80s. Streets full of armored Land Rovers and eighteen year old lads from somewhere oop North in full body armour and under their kind of lockdown – not allowed out to local bars or cafes due to danger of death. Happy Days and what a great experience for our Yank Irish and EU friends to enjoy.

Come on over when it kicks off. You are ever so welcome

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-northern-ireland-paramilitaries-b1796198.html

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Many, many years ago, I watched the film “The Colour Purple” – what impressed me, apart from the story, apart from Whoopi Cushion Goldberg, was the truly remarkable performance by a young black actress named Oprah Winfrey.

Today, however, Winfrey is a fat flatulent over-paid & over-opinionated windbag.
According to ‘Oprah’ her interview (propaganda broadcast more like) with ‘Duchess’ Meghan Manipulator, reveals the ‘TRUTH’ about the Royal Family.

Yes folks, ‘Oprah’ has used her first hand experience to determine that the poisonous viper Markle’s tales of persecution of her poor black victimhood by the evil white British Family are all true. No two sides to this story. Clearly, the villainous Royals were out to get the innocent little black girl when she ‘fell in love with’ (sunk her manipulative claws into) Harry deHalfwit – The Halfblood Prince.

I sincerely hope press stories of Her Maj having finally lost patience with her idiot grandson are true. She could start by taking him off the succession list and taking back the title of ‘Duchess’ that she gave the ungrateful little cow Markle.

As for ‘Oprah’, maybe some ex-pat Brit will poison her bucket of fried Chigun.

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings