I’m cunting The Guardian again. They just can’t help themselves, can they?

Rishi Sunak has just been made Prime Minister. Not elected, mind – a whole other argument in itself – but he’s the man with the top job. Now, you might think he’s a cunt (and you’d be right), and you might not like it (which is your right), but you can’t deny that someone from an ethnic background being the first to run a majority ethnically-white country is a historic event.

As such, you’d think the screamingly left-wing Graun would be chuffed with this. But no. Turns out Rishi is the wrong kind of ethnic. He’s not their kind of ethnic, demanding free stuff for people. (Unless it’s more free money for the already stupidly rich. Again, another argument.)

Thus The Guardian has decided to put together a panel of so-called experts to discuss ethnic inequality and diversity in modern Britain. Interestingly, for a panel of ethnic diversity it’s rather dominated by one ethnicity in particular. I’ll post the link below, but for now why don’t you fellow cunters try and guess the dominant ethnicity while I provide some of the “highlights” of their thoughts.

There’s Lenny Henry arguing for “diversity tax breaks” and “ringfenced funds for marginalised production companies” (in other words, he wants to pay less tax because of his skin colour. Hardly equality if a white production company has to pay more).

Kojo Karam (no, me neither) wants “to change our drug laws” because “the current system of criminalising drug possession and supply has become a conveyor belt that feeds young Black people into our criminal justice system”.(Changing the law to suit the actions of one particular ethnicity? Doesn’t sound like equality to me.)

Muyiwa Oki (again, who?) demands we “invest time and resources into ensuring people from Black communities have the tools to enter and succeed in the built environment sector”. By the “built environment sector”, he means architecture (why he can’t just say “architecture” is beyond me, but maybe the Guardian pays by the word”. And maybe we’d have more black architects if they weren’t all stabbing each other outside chicken shops. (Maybe they’re upset about the lack of architectural excellence of fried chicken outlets? – NA)

Most weirdly of all, Alice Dearing (again, I ask – who the fuck are these people?) comes with her argument that “swimming has… been plagued by racist stereotypes and issues of accessibility”. Wait, what? Water is somehow racist now? (Although I suppose the fact that it’s rarely found in most of Africa would suggest it’s actively avoiding them.)

I’m not going to go on. There’s many more on the link if you want to read that bollocks, and this nom is already long enough.

In short – the Guardian and all who wrote for it: cunts.

Grauniad Link.

Nominated by: Le Cunt Noir

Prince Harry’s new book . I got an email from Waterstone’s today, telling me that the daft cunt is publishing his memoirs, to be called Spare, in January and that I could get a copy half price if I ordered it now. I resisted the temptation. Is there anything left to be said for or about the silly cunt? .

It promises to be soul searching, insightful and all the usual cobblers, which to me is shorthand for non-stop narcissistic whining. You long for the days when people used to suffer in silence. I don’t know that it says much for a book that isn’t even out yet, that it’s already being peddled at half price. No doubt there will be the usual heavy hints about embarrassment to the Royal Family, like they needed any help with that.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/royal/20242449/prince-harrys-book-spare/

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

“New York City.”

The famous painting that has apparently been hanging upside down in the Kuntz Museum, in the Hague, for the past seventy seven years, & no one noticed. It was an example of ‘abstract art.’ Painted by Piet Mondrian, so maybe a difficult one for many to determine. “It should have been put up the correct way in the first place,” an expert said. Due to it’s age & size though, if it was rotated througth 180 degrees, after all these years, chances are it would just fall apart. From a distance, it does somehow remind me of a Betterware catalogue picture of one of my granny’s tea cloths. Kuntz just says it all!

It had apparently been inadvertantly inverted. “New York City I” (Painted in 1942)

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-63423811
(Link kindly provided by Liberal Liquidator)

Nominated by: Lord Scunthorpe

This pair are finally going to be deported, apparently, but I don’t think I’ll be holding my breath waiting.

Grauniad Link.

As if their crimes weren’t despicable enough, they have now spent 7 years and £500,000+ of taxpayers money fighting deportation, aided and abetted by our legal system.

Khan said he needed to stay in the UK to provide a role model for his son and he couldn’t have groomed anyone because he didn’t speak English. Both excellent reasons why his extended family should join him on the flight back.

I don’t know which disgusts me most, the groomers or the lawyers, so a cunting for them both seems in order.

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

A “kindly adjust your dress before leaving – and wash your hands” – cunting for yet another soppy charity in search of a problem, who claim that many people are skipping work because they cannot afford to keep themselves clean and terriby embarrassed about it – indeed, they feel “shame”:-

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-63403823

I would not-so-respectfully suggest that those people who claim to avoid work because of their personal hygiene, are actually work-shy lazy bastards.

The poor devils can’t afford soap and deoderant (though I suspect most of them can afford a scratchcard and the Sun newspaper). You can buy packs of three bars of soap in Poundland for £1 (other poundshops are available) and you can buy both men and womens deoderants for 59 pence in Lidl (I buy it for the spouse to cover up her more malodorous farts, which echo round the room in the evening after a day on the chocolate peanuts). Beside if you wash properly you don’t need a deoderant. In my RN days it was a shower every morning with Lifebuoy and again in the evening if you had a strenuous day – which was most days, there were no deoderants at the time, except the fruity gentemen who would discreetly apply a little perfume.

If you are THAT poor, you could even dive into a public lavatory and use the free soap in the dispensers, but I just feel this charity, no doubt fully suppored by Dame Kweer to show what bastards the government are, have been led up the garden path by lazy indivduals who prefer to sit and watch Holly and Phil all morning (and I bet Phil smells as lovely as Katie Boyle used to with her Camay).

If you do stink like a polecat, you could always get a job working from home, where, like the spouse, you can fart the day away to your hearts content and generally look like a compost heap.

How on earth do these charities exist and still manage to keep a straight face?

Nominated by: W.C. Boggs