Yesterday the wife came back from a trawl around the charity shops with a gift for me that I much appreciate. It’s a copy of a weighty reference tome on films, of which I’m a lifelong devotee. The author’s purpose is to draw together a list of what he regards as un miss able films, and the book’s title is ‘1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die’.

People always seem to be drawing up these lists. You’ll find them them in the meeja, in magazines, and on line; ‘100 Books You Must Read Before You Die’, ’50 Places You Must Visit Before You Die’, ‘101 Foods You Must Eat Before You Die’, ‘1001 Albums you Must Listen To…’, ’50 Sporting Occasions You Must…’ and so on.

Fair Enough. But one thing irritates the life out of me. Why not just call the book ‘1001 Films You Must See’? What’s with the pointless melodrama of the ‘Before You Die’ bit? It stands to reason that I’ll see the film, or read the book, or eat the dish, or visit the place or whatever BEFORE I die. There’s a blindingly obvious reason why I won’t be doing it AFTER I die. I’ll be fucking DEAD.

Stupid cunts.

allenandunwin

Nominated by Ron Knee.

I love collecting music. It’s my thing. I have way over 2,000 CDs at this point and well over 3,000 titles in all formats overall. It’s a great hobby. Relatively inexpensive and provides hours of pleasure. I’ll even go as far as saying my collection is akin to a time machine. I can play a given album and I’m immediately transported back to the time when I first played it and re-live the emotional highs and lows of what was happening in my life at that time. Music is truly a wonderful and powerful thing.

The other day I was browsing in my local used record/CD store. A guy who works there (Dave – who I didn’t know) happened to stroll past and noticed I was wearing a Gary Numan tour T-shirt. He made some comment about the ‘Holy One’ and engaged me in conversation. During our chat I learned our musical tastes overlapped to quite a degree and he mentioned a few bands I might like none of which I’d ever heard of before. Quick as you like, Dave whipped out his ‘phone and played me some clips and one in particular sounded very interesting to my ears. As luck would have it, the store had new copies of that band’s 2nd and 3rd albums in the rack. I decided to take a punt (that’s how you end up with a ton of CDs in your collection) and asked Dave of those two, which would he recommend. He suggested their third album.

An hour or so later I’m back home and ready to give my new purchase a spin. First track and I’m absolutely blown away. It’s dark, heavy, atmospheric, jangling guitar, swathes of electronics with a haunting male vocal line that repeats:

Don’t say you love
If I don’t say I love who you are now
Who are you now?

The whole album is quite exceptional. It’s a rare treat to be this mesmerised so quickly by something completely new to me. I’ve since ordered their entire back catalogue (another way you end up with a ton of CDs in your collection). Yeah, I think they’re THAT good.

My point is, I just happened to be wearing a Numan shirt, Dave the store guy just happened to walk past, noticed it and had sufficient time on his hands to stop for a chat. All of which lead to me discovering a new band I now absolutely love. If I’d worn a different shirt that day or Dave wasn’t working that day or hadn’t walked past or …. none of this would have happened. How many other bands am I not going to discover who I’d love if I heard them? I suppose it’s silly and irrational, but I find that thought sad and depressing and a bit of a cunt. Dave has over 8,000 CDs in his collection which is also a bit of a cunt. I’ll never get close to that before I peg it.

The Band: Drab Majesty
The Album: Modern Mirror
The Song: A Dialogue

youtube

Nominated by Imitation Yank.

is a cunt.

Just got back from La Belle (Supposedly) France. Cunts pulling out from a give way situation. E.G. Roundabouts side turnings etc. Cunts trying to get in the back of your car with theirs whilst yours is in motion, even though I am indicating to go around a round about to head in the opposite direction to the one I am travelling in.
Yesterday I saw the epitome of cuntish driving where a tart with mother in the passenger seat and French mini cunts in the back seat was texting whilst driving.

I just shook my head in disbelief at the utter stupidity of her actions. Mother saw me must have tipped the daughter off, said blowjob vendor waved, yours truly responded with a bandeleur and a gesture held sacred in British hearts since Agincourt. E.G two fingered salute.

having done a road safety course where a father and child were wiped out by a text saying don’t forget the milk. Fucking unbelievable.

Nominated by CuntyMort.

You hear a lot about ‘Conjoined twins’ .

It’s bollocks.

They’re two headed women as any carny will tell you.

Recently, a yank named Josh Bowling married Abbey Hensel.
She has 2 heads.
But josh is only married to one.

So when Josh is banging his wife he’s also rooting his sister in-law!

Far out.

This is apparently quite common in the states.

It’s kinky, weird, disgusting and a bit of a turn on admittedly.

Our very own Mr Cuntengine due to be going stateside will no doubt get in on.the action!

Have a look.
Conjoined?.
2 fuckin nuts.

Metro

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.

 
A nomination for the unhinged Caroline Dineage and our new Online Safety Bill.

Dineage has been writing letters, pressuring platforms such as Rumble, Twitter and GB News to re-evaluate the ability of Russell Brand to make money from his videos and media appearances, also asking whether Beverly Turner was right to label him a hero on GB News. Brand is only alleged to have behaved inappropriately at this point, so Dineage has played her hand far too early. Incompetence and malice in one gesture.

Dineage is also the MP who drafted the pernicous Online Safety Bill, which has passed through the HoL and is currently being ripped apart for it’s bizarre amendments online.

The Government thinks questioning certain policies relating to health is a threat to OUR way of life. Social media sites and executives face huge fines and even inprisonment if they violate the new laws. Content that is legal yet judged ‘harmful’ will be subject to censorship.

We have to keep everybody safe from harm now. No mockery, no jokes. This is all very harmful. Even if it is true, it is harmful.
I wonder if this site will survive.

The establishment media have also been ramping up the propaganda that supports the bill, with ITV pumping out lurid and sensationalist documentaries about trolls and ‘Socisl media murders’.

Since lockdown, Parliament seems to have developed a real appetite for controlling the population to almost Fascistic levels.
Andrew Bridgen was smeared by Matt Hancock for saying the wrong thing about the vaccines. The usual trope of Antisemitism was brought up. Everything contentious or even generally commented on that the establishment hacks disagree with is now a racist dogwhistle. ‘Globalist’ is now far right code for ‘Jew’. How convenient.

Expect Starmer’s Race and Social Justice obsessed Labour to carry on this sinister project, even ifvit harms their once- core voters by taking away their ability to express dissenting views

Brexit must never be allowed to happen again.

Not only has Caroline Dineage sent letters to Social media and news outlets pressuring them to cancel Russell Brand before any of the allegations have been investigated, she did so without approval from her own department.

The stupid cunt.

gb news

Independent

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.