is a cunt.

The modern way of life sees many things held dear being irrevocably destroyed. A previous cunting branched in to the language side of things with cunters listing words they felt had lost any of their traditional meaning. My 2 go-to’s there would be ‘celebrity’ and ‘hilarious’. Bastardized to death by sensationalist click-bait stories about fuck-all.

And you might say ‘that’s fine, use alternate words if you want’ (There are contrarian fucking apologists for everything).

But 2 weeks ago some boats that were part of a ragtag flotilla were intercepted … we all knew they’d be stopped and they were. Taken to land and deported soon after. It has been done before, the IDF not as enamoured by our Greta as headline writers would appear to be. Big yawn.

But if you believe online news, the interception in question caused ‘Global outrage’. I don’t know how they’re defining that, personally.

In da movies, if a planet-killer asteroid is identified as heading for earth, there is global panic. That seems apt in the situation. But besides the cunts that are always going apeshit about the other thing *anyways*, it was business as usual the next day for ‘the world’.

Anyways. They must mean a few individuals in far flung spots to justify ‘global’. One in Greenland, say, .. one in Italy, one in Australia. All 3 outraged by the same something that only matters to them. DOES that count as global outrage, though?

It MUST, because the incident that has me cunting here, is the following :

Not very nice. Bullies are cunts. A *little* bit funny in a gallows humour sort of way. (kids using the word ‘Pussy’ 😄).

But still. ‘Global outrage’? I think not.

So what will we call it going forward if something of significant happenstance in the negative column were to occur?

As a tangent, the likes of the link get awarded the moniker ‘global outrage’, but .. other somewhat more outrageous events seem to not qualify. I don’t recall much global outrage being reported in the tabloids re: Southport et al.

I see in the time it took to nom this, this particular case was edited to ‘outrage worldwide’ in the article which is still hyperbolic hyper-bollocks but lexically a tad more defendable in an argument about it, I suppose .. but the cunting endures ‘cos the next so-called global outrage is surely only days away as I type.

Maybe Trump will misgender some cunt or something.

the sun

Nominated by Cuntemall.

is not a cunt?

It’s been a while, but I am here to inject a dose of positive energy to the IAC fellowship.

So, with the indulgence of the moderators, I would like to nominate someone who I consider to most certainly NOT be a cunt, the main man, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Following a difficult few months I have recently read the autobiography of this faded icon, and I have to admit to having being thoroughly inspired by the story of his life and the lessons it offers in the extraordinary capacity for achievement in our deeply flawed species.

This is a man who was born in to depressed post war Austria in a house with no electricity, no toilet, no running water. He is now worth $1.2 billion and has a legacy of limitless determination and endless achievement behind this.

As a child he looked around him and thought I don’t like this, so how can I change my life. When visiting the large town near where he grew up he would go to the cinema in the 50’s and see images that inspired him to crystallise one goal: America. He proceeded to devote his life to removing himself from the dire misery of post war Germania, his ambition to become a Hollywood movie star. He found the means through bodybuilding, to which he devoted himself day and night, but did the necessary graft along the way – working in factories, on building sites, serving in the army.

When he got to America he slept on couches, worked as a labourer, laid bricks. Whatever he needed to do to survive, whilst at the same time spending every spare moment in the gym, crafting himself to be better than anyone else in the bodybuilding world, and pursuing every avenue to get himself noticed. But all the time he remained cheerful and determined. He worked, worked, worked, and was constantly impelled by the idea that he was always achieving and moving forward. And the rewards came. His single-minded, unfaltering determination, led to him winning the bodybuilding titles, landing the film roles, having the capital to build up a property empire, having the commercial nouse to commercialise concepts borne out of his celebrity status such as Planet Hollywood, as well as giving him the opportunity to experience the reward of giving something back in the form of his pioneering programs to get America fit and encourage deprived kids to take control of their lives through inner-city youth development programs.

The rest as they say is history. Governor of California, ongoing movie career, one of America’s all-time “dream” legends.

I’ve never met the guy, never will. But when you read his life story you can easily conclude two things:
1. He was always aware he had one shot at life.
2. He was buggered if he was going to waste a single second of his time here feeling sorry for himself, blaming other people for shit, doing nothing because life’s unfair; he was just gonna do what was in his power to make it happen.

Take note young and old. This man is a dying breed and should be treasured while he’s still with us.

four minute books

Nominated by Balsamic Dave.

are a cunt.

Wolverhampton Council have introduced a “fat tax” on burials for obese persons, due to increased demand, of all things.

Wolverhampton resident Rosemarie McLaren said she felt the move was “discrimination, it’s not acceptable”.

“Someone like me who’s a bit bigger, is going to be charged [more] because I’m fat,” she added..

Unsurprisingly Rosemarie is a twenty stone Dark Key.

It appears that cremation has never occurred to them,but then again,why wait til the fat cunts die of natural causes,such as an excess of Di Chiggun?

Light em up!

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

A light hearted but painful cunting for piles, or pile in this case.

Having never exerienced such rectal delights until today, but taken the piss whenever someone has mentioned them, Imagine my horror waking up feeling like I spent my first night in an American prison with big bobo as my cellmate.

A quick bath and check, and just to be sure, a look with a mirror to find a big (big to me anyway) fresh new pile sat there.

Got some anusol on way to work and had self service tills existed here, I would have used it for once but no, served by the usual woman who is usually chatty and smiley but not today, so asked her if the anusol and my massive arse grape was the reason which did raise a smile.

Had some fun looking for a youtube link, a lot of them seem to be Indian videos, are piles more prevalent in Indians? I would have thought the lack of toilet paper and the type 1 and 2 on Bristol stool chart would mean they were less likely candidates, but what do I know on day one of a hopefully very short sore bum journey.

youtube

Nominated by Cunt of the Isles.

are cunts and a bag of shit, lost a rather good bike from out side my property, as soon as reported it, took a further seven days for
their response.

I gave them some cctv footage of suspect in the early hours of the morning, not a shit of good, didn’t even follow it up, I uploaded the footage, still no investigation. I know there are different levels of policing but just don’t give a shot. We are screwed the way thing are going.

bbcnews

Nominated by Brickshithouse.