A light hearted but painful cunting for piles, or pile in this case.

Having never exerienced such rectal delights until today, but taken the piss whenever someone has mentioned them, Imagine my horror waking up feeling like I spent my first night in an American prison with big bobo as my cellmate.

A quick bath and check, and just to be sure, a look with a mirror to find a big (big to me anyway) fresh new pile sat there.

Got some anusol on way to work and had self service tills existed here, I would have used it for once but no, served by the usual woman who is usually chatty and smiley but not today, so asked her if the anusol and my massive arse grape was the reason which did raise a smile.

Had some fun looking for a youtube link, a lot of them seem to be Indian videos, are piles more prevalent in Indians? I would have thought the lack of toilet paper and the type 1 and 2 on Bristol stool chart would mean they were less likely candidates, but what do I know on day one of a hopefully very short sore bum journey.

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Nominated by Cunt of the Isles.

are cunts and a bag of shit, lost a rather good bike from out side my property, as soon as reported it, took a further seven days for
their response.

I gave them some cctv footage of suspect in the early hours of the morning, not a shit of good, didn’t even follow it up, I uploaded the footage, still no investigation. I know there are different levels of policing but just don’t give a shot. We are screwed the way thing are going.

bbcnews

Nominated by Brickshithouse.

*Cue ‘Jaws’ soundtrack* dur dum dur dum dur dum dur dum dur dum dur dum

Yes just when you thought it was safe to go back onto Youtube, up pops Meghan ‘Duchess of Deceit’ Markle’s first ever podcast interview with some slightly odd
and creepy American woman by the name of Jamie Kern Lima. And yes, it really is every inch the smarmy West Coast cringefest you’d expect it to be.

Little Miss Sparkle is, of course, every bit the self-obsessed fake we’ve come to expect, spewing out her usual word salad in that insufferably oily voice; ‘I know that I’m a great friend, I know the kind of mom I am, I know how I show up, and I love being able to be that person burble blah’. Lima chips in with vacuous comments like ‘I’m getting emotional right now’ (aren’t we all dear).

Or how about ‘it’s not about the grandeur of a gesture. It’s about I see you. I’m nurturing you and I see you so deeply and I love being able to see your growth’ from Meagain. ‘I have full body chills right now’ twitters Lima.

Oh there’s more of this airheaded, self absorbed nonsense; MUCH more, but I’ll leave you to seek it out for yourself if you’re interested and think you can stand it. Meantime, here’s a teaser to put you in the mood. I warn you however that your most likely reaction is a headlong rush to get your head over the loo before you barf. It’s the expected reaction to the sight of watching two of the phoniest, least likeable, least self- aware and most up themselves people imaginable vying to be the biggest cunt in the room.

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Nominated by Ron Knee.

Is a fucking Cunt.

This Byzantine legal case,wholly involving Africans up to nowt good,must have cost millions in “legal aid”and adds up to another excellent advertisement for Lawfare Britain..

Justice is served,all bills are paid,all rules followed and court proceedings dutifully updated..

All at vast expense whilst these lying Nigerian cunts play house and game the system..for the trillionth time.

Rules Based Britain is a Floundering Cunt.

Vote Oven.

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

are cunts.

Just seen an article on The BBC, albeit that is a Cunt of an organisation. Headline – ‘Vets say they are under pressure to bring in more money per pet’

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Fuck me backwards with a half inflated balloon. We have had our dog in the vets recently, and they take great delight in just trying something else, obviously at a cost, a cost that includes, playing on owners emotions cunt tax.

They start with a quote……………if you ever have similar, instantly add £2k onto that cunt. Then they come calling saying, oh that treatment advised by our team of specialist cunts didn’t actually do fuck all. But luckily we have another team of specialist cunts who think this might work.

I appreciate vets do a sterling job with animals, but fuck my financially bankrupt hat, the cunts know already how to charge for it.

Nominated by Dry Itchy Cunt.